Intention and Attention in Scam Victim Recovery

In the aftermath of a scam, a scam victim’s world is often defined by chaos, confusion, and a profound sense of powerlessness. The mind races, replaying every detail, while the heart aches with a betrayal that feels incomprehensible. In this state, it is easy to become a passive passenger on a stormy sea of emotion, simply reacting to each new wave of pain or anger. However, true and lasting recovery is not a passive process; it is an active one that demands two crucial elements: intention and attention. These are the twin engines that will power a victim out of the wreckage and toward a place of healing and peace.

Intention is the conscious decision to heal. It is the moment a victim stops asking, “Why did this happen to me?” and starts asking, “What am I going to do about it now?” This is not about blame or fault, but about ownership, responsibility, and of the recovery process. Without intention, a scam victim risks becoming permanently stuck in a victimhood identity, where their life story is defined by the crime rather than their resilience. Setting an intention means actively choosing to engage with support, to educate oneself about trauma, and to commit to the hard work of self-compassion. It is the internal promise to oneself that, while the scam was not your fault, your healing is now your responsibility. This intention becomes the compass, providing direction when the path is unclear and motivation when the journey feels too difficult to continue.

Attention is the focused application of that intention. It is the practice of being present and directing one’s mental energy toward constructive, healing activities. Trauma has a way of fragmenting attention, scattering it in a thousand directions, toward the scammer, toward the money, toward past mistakes, toward future fears, toward the shame and blame, toward the guilt. A victim’s attention is often hijacked by the very thing that caused the pain. The work of recovery is to consciously reclaim that focus. This means paying attention to the present moment, even when it is painful. It means focusing on the guidance of a therapist or the wisdom of a support provider, rather than getting lost in the internal loop of shame, blame, and guilt. It is the deliberate act of listening to one’s own needs, recognizing when to release, when to rest, when to reach out, and when to simply breathe.

The synergy between intention and attention is what creates forward momentum. Intention sets the destination: “I will heal.” Attention is the act of putting one foot in front of the other, over and over again, without getting distracted by the scenery of the past. A scam victim can intend to get better, but if their attention remains fixated on the scammer’s fake story and profile or the money they lost, they will remain stuck. Conversely, they can try to focus on the present, but without the guiding star of intention, their efforts will be unfocused and easily derailed. Together, they form a powerful practice. It is the intention to be kind to oneself, followed by the attention needed to notice and challenge a self-critical thought. It is the intention to rebuild one’s life, followed by the attention required to take one small, practical step toward that goal each day. In the end, recovery is not something that happens to a victim; it is something they build, one intentional, attentive moment at a time.

This is not a casual effort reserved for a few spare moments here and there; it is a practice that demands dedicated, unwavering attention every single day. Recovery must become the highest priority in a victim’s life, because without a solid foundation of healing, the rest of their world will inevitably crumble. Relationships will suffer, work will falter, and physical health will decline under the crushing weight of untreated trauma. It requires more than just intention; it demands a solemn commitment and a deep dedication to the process every day and every minute. This means consciously choosing recovery over distraction, healing over avoidance, and self-compassion over shame, moment by moment. It is an all-encompassing focus that acknowledges nothing else in life can truly be rebuilt until the internal self is made whole again.

Prof. Tim McGuinness, Ph.D.
November 2025