10 False Assumptions of Traumatized Scam Victims – 2024
Helping Scam Victims to Understand that Healing is a Journey. It Requires Patience, Self-Compassion, and Support. By Letting go of these Limiting Beliefs, you can Reclaim Your Power, Rebuild Your Life, and Thrive in the Aftermath of Trauma
Primary Category: Scam Victim Recovery Psychology
Author:
• Tim McGuinness, Ph.D. – Anthropologist, Scientist, Director of the Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Inc.
About This Article
Scam victims often struggle with false assumptions that can hinder their recovery and growth. These assumptions, such as believing they are “not good enough” or “permanently damaged,” can erode self-confidence and prevent healing.
It’s essential to recognize that these beliefs are based on misconceptions rather than reality. By challenging these assumptions and seeking support, scam victims can begin to rebuild their confidence and move forward. Recovery is a journey that requires patience, self-compassion, and the willingness to let go of limiting beliefs. You are not defined by what happened to you, but by how you choose to move forward.
10 False Assumptions That Limit Confidence and Growth for Traumatized Scam Victims
As a scam victim, the emotional and psychological aftermath of the experience leaves you struggling with self-doubt and a diminished sense of self-worth. The trauma of being deceived and exploited deeply affects your self-confidence, making it harder to move forward and rebuild your life. However, many of the barriers to recovery are based on false assumptions that can be challenged and overcome. By becoming aware of these limiting beliefs, you can begin to reclaim your confidence and embrace a more empowered future. Axios!
False Assumptions: ‘I’m Not Good Enough’
After being scammed, it’s common to feel that you weren’t smart enough or strong enough to avoid the deception. This self-critical narrative can erode your self-esteem, making you feel inherently flawed. However, it’s important to remember that scammers are professionals who use sophisticated tactics to exploit even the most vigilant individuals. Your worth is not determined by this experience, and you are more than capable of learning, growing, and thriving. Axios!
False Assumptions: ‘I Should Have Seen It Coming’
Hindsight Bias can be a harsh critic. Many scam victims blame themselves for not recognizing the red flags sooner. However, this assumption ignores the reality that scams are designed to be convincing and manipulative. Instead of fixating on what you “should have” done, focus on what you can do now to protect yourself and others in the future. Axios!
False Assumptions: ‘I’m Alone in This’
Feeling isolated is a common experience for scam victims, especially when it seems like others don’t understand the depth of your pain. This assumption can lead to withdrawal and reluctance to seek help. The truth is, you’re not alone—many people (100 million) have gone through similar experiences, and there are support networks like SCARS Institute and resources available to help you heal.
False Assumptions: ‘No One Will Trust Me Again’
After being scammed, you might worry that others will view you as gullible or untrustworthy. This fear can prevent you from forming new relationships or rebuilding existing ones. It’s very important to challenge this assumption and recognize that your worth is not defined by the scam. Trust can be rebuilt over time, and your experiences can make you more empathetic and understanding in your relationships (also in time.) Axios!
False Assumptions: ‘I’m Permanently Damaged’
The trauma of being scammed can feel overwhelming, leading you to believe that you’ll never fully recover. While the impact of trauma is real and significant, it doesn’t have to define your entire life. Healing is a process that takes time, but with the right support and coping strategies, you can regain your sense of self and lead a fulfilling life. Axios!
False Assumptions: ‘I Have to Keep It a Secret’
Shame and embarrassment often lead scam victims to keep their experiences hidden. This secrecy prevents you from accessing the support you need and perpetuates feelings of isolation. Sharing your story with trusted individuals or support groups can be a powerful step toward healing and breaking free from the burden of secrecy. Axios!
False Assumptions: ‘Helping Others Will Fix Me’
While helping others can be a positive and healing experience (once you are healed,) it’s important to avoid using it as a way to avoid addressing your own pain. This savior complex, where you focus on fixing others instead of yourself, can lead to burnout and prevent you from fully healing. Balance your desire to help others with the need to prioritize your own recovery. Axios!
False Assumptions: ‘I’m Weak Because I Was Scammed’
Being scammed does not make you weak. Scammers prey on trust, kindness, and vulnerability—all of which are human qualities, not weaknesses. Recognize that your experience does not diminish your strength; instead, it offers an opportunity to grow and become more resilient. Axios!
False Assumptions: ‘I’m a Victim Forever’
Identifying as a victim can be a double-edged sword. While it’s important to acknowledge the harm done to you, clinging to a victim identity (victim complex) can prevent you from moving forward. Reframe your narrative from one of victimhood to one of survival and resilience. You are more than what happened to you. Axios!
False Assumptions: ‘I Can’t Trust Anyone Ever Again’
The betrayal you experienced can make it difficult to trust others, leading to isolation and loneliness. However, it’s essential to challenge the belief that everyone is untrustworthy. Rebuilding trust is a gradual process, and while it’s important to be cautious, it’s also important to remain open to the possibility of forming healthy, supportive relationships. Axios!
Moving Forward
Recognizing and challenging these false assumptions is one of the most important steps in rebuilding your confidence and sense of self after a scam.
Healing is a journey, and it requires patience, self-compassion, and support. By letting go of these limiting beliefs, you can reclaim your power, rebuild your life, and thrive in the aftermath of trauma. Remember, you are not defined by what happened to you—you are defined by how you choose to move forward.
Axios!
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Important Information for New Scam Victims
- Please visit www.ScamVictimsSupport.org – a SCARS Website for New Scam Victims & Sextortion Victims
- SCARS Institute now offers a free recovery program at www.SCARSeducation.org
- Please visit www.ScamPsychology.org – to more fully understand the psychological concepts involved in scams and scam victim recovery
If you are looking for local trauma counselors please visit counseling.AgainstScams.org or join SCARS for our counseling/therapy benefit: membership.AgainstScams.org
If you need to speak with someone now, you can dial 988 or find phone numbers for crisis hotlines all around the world here: www.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines
A Note About Labeling!
We often use the term ‘scam victim’ in our articles, but this is a convenience to help those searching for information in search engines like Google. It is just a convenience and has no deeper meaning. If you have come through such an experience, YOU are a Survivor! It was not your fault. You are not alone! Axios!
Statement About Victim Blaming
Some of our articles discuss various aspects of victims. This is both about better understanding victims (the science of victimology) and their behaviors and psychology. This helps us to educate victims/survivors about why these crimes happened and to not blame themselves, better develop recovery programs, and to help victims avoid scams in the future. At times this may sound like blaming the victim, but it does not blame scam victims, we are simply explaining the hows and whys of the experience victims have.
These articles, about the Psychology of Scams or Victim Psychology – meaning that all humans have psychological or cognitive characteristics in common that can either be exploited or work against us – help us all to understand the unique challenges victims face before, during, and after scams, fraud, or cybercrimes. These sometimes talk about some of the vulnerabilities the scammers exploit. Victims rarely have control of them or are even aware of them, until something like a scam happens and then they can learn how their mind works and how to overcome these mechanisms.
Articles like these help victims and others understand these processes and how to help prevent them from being exploited again or to help them recover more easily by understanding their post-scam behaviors. Learn more about the Psychology of Scams at www.ScamPsychology.org
SCARS Resources:
- Getting Started: ScamVictimsSupport.org
- FREE enrollment in the SCARS Institute training programs for scam victims SCARSeducation.org
- For New Victims of Relationship Scams newvictim.AgainstScams.org
- Subscribe to SCARS Newsletter newsletter.againstscams.org
- Sign up for SCARS professional support & recovery groups, visit support.AgainstScams.org
- Find competent trauma counselors or therapists, visit counseling.AgainstScams.org
- Become a SCARS Member and get free counseling benefits, visit membership.AgainstScams.org
- Report each and every crime, learn how to at reporting.AgainstScams.org
- Learn more about Scams & Scammers at RomanceScamsNOW.com and ScamsNOW.com
- Learn more about the Psychology of Scams and Scam Victims: ScamPsychology.org
- Self-Help Books for Scam Victims are at shop.AgainstScams.org
- Donate to SCARS and help us help others at donate.AgainstScams.org
- Worldwide Crisis Hotlines: International Suicide Hotlines – OpenCounseling : OpenCounseling
- Campaign To End Scam Victim Blaming – 2024 (scamsnow.com)
Psychology Disclaimer:
All articles about psychology and the human brain on this website are for information & education only
The information provided in this and other SCARS articles are intended for educational and self-help purposes only and should not be construed as a substitute for professional therapy or counseling.
Note about Mindfulness: Mindfulness practices have the potential to create psychological distress for some individuals. Please consult a mental health professional or experienced meditation instructor for guidance should you encounter difficulties.
While any self-help techniques outlined herein may be beneficial for scam victims seeking to recover from their experience and move towards recovery, it is important to consult with a qualified mental health professional before initiating any course of action. Each individual’s experience and needs are unique, and what works for one person may not be suitable for another.
Additionally, any approach may not be appropriate for individuals with certain pre-existing mental health conditions or trauma histories. It is advisable to seek guidance from a licensed therapist or counselor who can provide personalized support, guidance, and treatment tailored to your specific needs.
If you are experiencing significant distress or emotional difficulties related to a scam or other traumatic event, please consult your doctor or mental health provider for appropriate care and support.
If you are in crisis, feeling desperate, or in despair please call 988 or your local crisis hotline.
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