Do I Have Value? Am I Valuable to Anyone?

An Insight Into the Existential Identity Crisis We All Must Face at Some Point in Our Life

The question of a person’s value is one of the most profound and unsettling inquiries a human can make.

It is a concept that is frequently, and destructively, conflated with the idea of worthiness.

• Worthiness is a moral and ethical assertion; it is the belief that every individual deserves basic dignity, compassion, and support. This is a foundation upon which a humane society is built.
• Value, however, is a different and far more elusive metric. It is a measure of utility, relevance, and impact, and its definition shifts dramatically depending on the context and the observer. To confuse the two is to mistake a right for a commodity, leading to a crisis of identity when our perceived utility wanes.

From the moment we are born, our value is often defined transactionally. A child values a parent for the security, comfort, and resources they provide. An employee’s value to a corporation is calculated in productivity and profit. A friend’s value may be measured in laughter, loyalty, or shared experience. This transactional view of value is so ingrained that it becomes the default lens through which we see ourselves. We begin to internalize the idea that our significance is tied directly to what we do, what we have, and what we provide for others. This creates a fragile sense of self because, as the question rightly points out, we all lose value over time within this framework. Our productivity declines, our physical abilities fade, and our social circles shrink.

What, Then, Becomes Our Value?

This leads to the chilling existential question: Does life or the universe care if we exist? The brutal, indifferent answer supplied by observation is no. The universe operates on a scale of cosmic physics where individual human lives are statistically insignificant. The daily tragedies of war, disease, and crime underscore this reality on a global scale. Millions of lives are extinguished with little more than a footnote, their individual stories lost in the tide of statistics. To ask if they “had value” or were “even real” is to confront the terrifying possibility that from a purely objective, universal perspective, the answer is no. Their worthiness of a better fate is a human construct, but their value in the grand scheme is immeasurable and therefore, effectively zero.

If we look for our value in external validation, in our pride, our entitlement, our greed, or our contribution to society, we are building our house on sand. These are all conditional states. Pride can be humbled, entitlement can be revoked, greed is insatiable, and contributions can be forgotten or rendered obsolete. What happens when we stop working, when we stop producing, when all the family and friends who defined our value are gone? This is the ultimate test, the quiet moment in a room where our utility to others has expired. It is in this moment that the search for an external answer proves futile.

Perhaps the answer lies not in what we are worth to others, but in what we are worth to ourselves. This is not a call to narcissism or greed, but a redefinition of value from an external metric to an internal one. Value could be the conscious choice to experience, to learn, to feel, and to connect, even if only with oneself. It is the value of witnessing a sunset, of understanding a new idea, of feeling compassion for another living creature. This form of value is not transactional; it is experiential. It cannot be taken away by age, job loss, or the departure of others. It is a value that exists only because we exist to perceive it. While the universe may not care, we can. In a world that measures us by what we produce, the ultimate act of defiance may be to find value simply in the act of being.

What Happens When You Look But Cannot Find Any Value Within Ourselves?

When you look for value within yourself and find nothing, you arrive at a profound and terrifying existential void. It is a state of profound emptiness where the internal compass is broken, and the external world offers no solace because its metrics of value have already proven to be hollow. This is not simply sadness or a lack of self-esteem; it is a deep-seated conviction of one’s own nullity. It is the chilling realization that the wellspring of worth, which you were told to find inside, is as dry and barren as the desert outside.

In this state, the mind turns against itself. The search for value becomes an obsessive audit of failure, a catalog of every mistake, every disappointment, every instance of being useless or unwanted. The inner voice, which should be a source of comfort, becomes a ruthless prosecutor, presenting evidence for the case of your own insignificance. It is a psychological paradox: the harder you search for a reason to exist, the more you reinforce the evidence that you do not have one. This is the abyss where hope dies not with a bang, but with a quiet, suffocating certainty. It is the feeling of being a ghost in your own life, an observer who is disconnected from the person performing the actions, unable to feel any pride or purpose in them.

This internal void often leads to a state of functional paralysis. If nothing has value, then nothing matters. The motivation to engage with the world evaporates. Why work, why create, why connect, why even get out of bed, if the fundamental “you” at the core of it all is worthless? This can manifest as severe apathy, depression, or a complete withdrawal from life. The world continues to demand your performance, to be a good employee, a reliable friend, a functional family member, but you are an actor who has forgotten the motivation for the role. Every interaction feels like a fraud, a performance for an audience you are convinced sees right through you. The exhaustion from this constant, valueless performance is immense.

So, what happens when you cannot find value within yourself? You are left with a choice, even if it doesn’t feel like one.

• The first option is to accept the void as the final truth, to let the emptiness consume you and define your existence. This is the path of surrender to the abyss. Because the abyss always has a vacancy with your name on the reservation.
• The second option is to challenge the very premise of the search. Perhaps the error was not in the looking, but in the assumption that “value” is a noun, a thing to be found, possessed, or measured. What if value is not a destination but a verb? What if it is not something you are, but something you do?

When you cannot find value within, you may have to create it without. You may have to abandon the search for a grand, intrinsic sense of self-worth and instead focus on the smallest, most tangible acts of connection and contribution. You may not be able to value yourself, but you can value the act of watering a plant. You can value the feeling of the sun on your skin. You can value the brief moment of relief you provide to an animal or a stranger. You can choose to act as if your actions have meaning, even if you feel they do not.

This is not a magical cure. It is a grueling, painstaking process of building a house brick by brick on a foundation of nothingness. It is choosing to act with purpose when you feel none. It is an act of rebellion against the void. In that space of absolute emptiness, the smallest, most deliberate act of creation or connection becomes an act of defiance. You may not find the value you were looking for, but in the act of doing, you just might build it.

An Answer in Wisdom

The profound struggle of finding no value within oneself is a central crisis of the human condition, and the great spiritual traditions, Buddhism, Christianity, and Confucianism, offer distinct yet complementary insights. They all challenge the premise that value is an intrinsic thing to be found, and instead reframe it as something realized through action, relationship, or a shift in perception.

From a Buddhist perspective, the very search for a fixed, intrinsic “self” with inherent value is the root of the problem. The Buddha’s teaching of anātman, or non-self, posits that there is no permanent, independent self to be found in the first place; everything is “empty of intrinsic nature” and exists only in relation to everything else. The feeling of worthlessness arises from clinging to a false idea of who we should be and then failing to live up to it. The solution is not to find a better “self” but to see through the illusion of the self altogether. Value is not possessed; it is created through intentional action. The Buddha taught that our interconnected body, speech, and mind influence one another, and that we can build “merit”, a positive, protective force, through wholesome thoughts, words, and deeds. When you cannot find value within, the Buddhist path is to create value without, by acting with compassion and wisdom. Your value is not in what you are, but in what you do to alleviate suffering in yourself and others.

Christianity offers a starkly different but equally powerful answer. It posits that human value is not something we must find or create, but something that is bestowed upon us by a divine source. According to this view, every person has “intrinsic worth” because they are created in the image of God, a worth that is “not dependent on achievements, social status, or physical attributes”. This inherent value is affirmed and amplified through the sacrifice of Jesus Christ, which demonstrates “the immeasurable value God places on each individual”. The feeling of internal emptiness is reframed not as a reflection of reality, but as a spiritual disconnection. The answer, therefore, is not to look inward for a self-generated value, but to look outward and upward, to reconnect with the source of that value. It is an act of faith to accept that you are valuable simply because you exist as a beloved creation, regardless of your feelings or accomplishments.

Confucius provides a third, more social and ethical framework. For Confucius, a person’s value is not an abstract, internal state but is realized through their relationships and contributions to the community. The concept of “成人之美” (chéng rén zhī měi), or “helping others achieve their worthy goals,” is central. This stems from a “broad-mindedness and genuine self-confidence that’s free from envy”. In this view, you find your own value by actively creating value for others. When you feel worthless, the Confucian solution is to stop navel-gazing and to engage with the world. Your value is measured by your conduct, your integrity (仁, rén), and your ability to contribute to the harmony of your family and society. It is in the performance of one’s duties and in the sincere effort to be a virtuous person (君子, jūnzǐ) that one finds their significance.

In Conclusion

Ultimately, these traditions converge on a crucial point: value is not a static noun to be discovered within, but a dynamic verb to be enacted. Whether through the compassionate actions of Buddhism, the faith-based acceptance of Christianity, or the relational duty of Confucianism, the path out of the void is the same. You must stop trying to find yourself and start losing yourself in action, service, and connection.

Prof. Tim McGuinness, Ph.D.
December 2025