Scam Victim Recovery Bad Habits

In the aftermath of a scam, victims often find themselves adrift in a sea of information.

They are desperate for answers, for a lifeline, for anything that can make sense of the chaos and help them reclaim their footing. In this search, many fall into a series of subtle but destructive behavioral patterns that create the illusion of progress while actively hindering genuine recovery. The most pervasive of these patterns is the critical difference between consumption and engagement. Understanding this distinction is paramount to breaking free from the cycle of passive suffering and stepping onto the active path of healing.

Consumption is the act of taking in information. It is the endless scrolling through articles about scams, the watching of countless videos on recovery, the passive listening to webinars or support group meetings. A victim can consume hours of content every day, filling their mind with facts, statistics, and other people’s stories. They might read about their psychology, about scammers, learn the red flags they missed, and absorb advice on how to protect themselves in the future.

On the surface, this feels productive. It feels like they are “doing the work.” However, without engagement, this information is like water poured onto sand; it is absorbed momentarily and then vanishes, leaving no lasting trace. Victims forget what they read within hours because the information was never truly processed. It was seen, but not engaged. It was heard, but not integrated. It does not become long term understanding.

Engagement, on the other hand, is the active process of making information your own. It is what happens when you stop scrolling and start writing. It is the act of taking a concept from an article and journaling about how it specifically applies to your own experience. It is leaving a thoughtful comment on an article or post, not just to say “thank you,” or to click “like,” but to articulate a new insight you gained. It is discussing a recovery topic with another survivor and connecting their story to yours.

Engagement is converting passive knowledge into active wisdom. It is the cognitive and emotional work of wrestling with new ideas, questioning your own assumptions, and building new neural pathways. This is how learning happens, and it is the only way recovery can take root.

This leads directly to the second common pitfall: the mistaken belief that recovery is an automatic byproduct of simply being present in a recovery activity. Victims often believe that if they attend a weekly support group or read a daily article, healing will magically happen to them. This is a dangerous fallacy.

Recovery does not happen to you; it happens because of you. It is not an event you attend, but a practice you cultivate. Showing up to a support group and passively listening for an hour is not the same as actively participating. True participation involves sharing your own struggles, asking clarifying questions, and offering feedback to others. It is in the act of verbalizing your own experience and connecting with the experiences of others that the therapeutic benefits are unlocked. The same applies to reading; the power is not in the eyes scanning the page, but in the mind that reflects, questions, and applies the words to its own life.

This brings us to the most detrimental habit of all: the belief that recovery is a part-time activity. Many victims treat their healing like a casual hobby, something to be done for a few minutes here and there when they have a spare moment. They might read an article during their lunch break or attend a support group once a week, and then spend the rest of their time allowing their minds to default back to the trauma, to the anger, and to the obsession with the scammer. Real recovery is not something you do for a few minutes a day; it is a fundamental shift in your way of being. It is a full-time commitment to a new way of thinking.

To be fully engaged in the recovery process means that you are constantly learning, constantly reflecting, and consciously applying what you have learned to every moment of your life. It means that when a self-critical thought arises, you engage with it and challenge it, using the tools you have learned. It means that when you feel the urge to check the scammer’s fake profile, you engage with that urge and choose a different, healthier action. It means that your recovery is not a compartment of your life; it becomes the lens through which you view your entire life. It is the conscious, minute-by-minute dedication to rewiring your brain, rebuilding your trust in yourself, and reclaiming your power. This is not a passive journey. It is the most active, challenging, and important work you will ever do.

Prof. Tim McGuinness, Ph.D.
November 2025