Your Emotions Are Signals

When you are reeling from the trauma of a scam, your emotions can feel like a violent, invading army. Anger, shame, grief, and fear crash over you in waves, and the most natural instinct is to fight back, to push them down, to numb them out, to wish them away. We are taught to see these intense feelings as the enemy, as a sign of weakness or a malfunction. But this is a fundamental misunderstanding. Your emotions are not the enemy; they are your internal guidance system. They are not the problem itself, but the signals telling you what is happening. To fight them is to fight your own compass.

Think of your emotions as the dashboard lights on a car. When the “Check Engine” light glows, you don’t smash the light with a hammer. You understand that the light is not the problem; it is the crucial signal that there is an issue deep within the engine that requires your attention. Your emotions work in the exact same way. The searing heat of anger is your signal that a boundary has been crossed or an injustice has occurred. It is the “Check Engine” light for your sense of fairness and self-respect. The heavy, suffocating blanket of grief is your signal that you have experienced a profound loss. It is the light indicating that something precious was taken, and it needs to be mourned. The sharp jolt of fear is your signal that you are in danger, activating your nervous system to protect you.

Fighting these signals is not only futile but counterproductive. When you suppress an emotion, you are essentially ignoring the warning light. The underlying issue remains unaddressed, and the pressure builds. The suppressed anger doesn’t disappear; it curdles into resentment or explodes in a destructive outburst. The unacknowledged grief doesn’t vanish; it festers into depression or manifests as physical illness. By fighting your emotions, you create a second layer of trauma, the trauma of denying your own experience. You wage a war against yourself, exhausting the very energy you need for healing.

The path to recovery is not to win this war, but to lay down your arms. The goal is to change your relationship with your emotions from one of combat to one of curious inquiry. Instead of “I’m so angry, I hate this feeling,” try asking, “What is this anger trying to tell me? What boundary was violated? What injustice was done?” Instead of “I can’t stand this sadness,” try asking, “What is this sadness honoring? What have I lost that I need to acknowledge?” When you treat an emotion as a messenger rather than an attacker, you disarm it. You can listen to its message, take the appropriate action, and allow the feeling to move through you.

Don’t resist. Name them, don’t shame them.

Your emotions are not your captors; they are your allies in the healing process. They are the raw, honest data of your experience. They are the map of your wounds and the guideposts to your recovery. Don’t fight them. Listen to them. Honor them. They are not just telling you what is happening; they are showing you the way back to yourself.

Prof. Tim McGuinness, Ph.D.
December 2025