An Insight Into Shame

A SCARS Institute Scam Victim Recovery Insight

Did you know that there are many different types of shame? Including Explicit and Implicit Shame!

The difference between explicit shame and implicit shame is about where the shame lives in your awareness and how it affects you.

Explicit shame is conscious and nameable. You know you feel ashamed, and you can usually say why. It shows up as clear thoughts and statements such as “I feel embarrassed,” “I should have known better,” or “What I did was stupid.” Because explicit shame is in conscious awareness, it can be talked about, questioned, and worked with directly in therapy, education, or self-reflection. Even though it is painful, it is visible to you.

Implicit shame is unconscious or semi-conscious. You may not feel “ashamed” in words, but your behavior, emotions, and body reactions carry it. It shows up as avoidance, freezing, people-pleasing, perfectionism, anger, withdrawal, or a constant sense of being “less than,” without a clear story attached. You might feel anxious, defective, or unsafe without knowing why. Implicit shame is stored more in the nervous system and emotional memory than in deliberate thought.

Here is the key distinction in simple terms:

• Explicit shame is shame you can recognize and describe.
• Implicit shame is shame you live out without realizing it is shame.

In betrayal trauma and other betrayal-based experiences, implicit shame is often more powerful than explicit shame. A survivor may say, “I know logically it was not my fault,” while still avoiding support, hiding what happened, or feeling undeserving of care. That gap between what you know and how you react is often implicit shame at work.

Another important difference is how each one changes.

• Explicit shame responds well to insight, education, and compassionate reframing. When you learn how manipulation works and why your brain reacted the way it did, explicit shame often softens.
• Implicit shame changes more slowly and usually requires nervous system regulation, repeated safe experiences, and corrective relationships. It eases when your body learns, over time, that you are not in danger of rejection, exposure, or punishment.

A practical way to tell them apart is this question:

“If someone asked me why I feel this way, could I explain it clearly?”

• If the answer is yes, you are likely dealing with explicit shame.
• If the answer is no, or you say, “I don’t know, I just feel wrong,” you are likely dealing with implicit shame.

Both forms of shame are common after scams, and neither is a personal failure. They are adaptive responses to threat, deception, and social danger. Recovery often involves bringing implicit shame into awareness slowly and safely, so it can become explicit, understood, and eventually released.

More types of shame

Psychology and trauma research recognize several distinct shame variants. Each one affects you differently, especially after betrayal trauma caused by scams. Understanding the differences helps you recognize what is happening instead of blaming yourself.

Core shame: This is a deep, identity-level belief that something is fundamentally wrong with you. It is not about a behavior or decision. It is about who you believe you are. Core shame often forms early in life and can be reactivated by later betrayal. After a scam, it may sound like “I am foolish,” “I am unlovable,” or “This proves who I really am,” even when evidence says otherwise.

Situational shame: This form of shame is tied to a specific event or context. It shows up as embarrassment or humiliation about what happened rather than about your entire identity. Situational shame often appears after disclosure, exposure, or discovery. It may fade as the situation becomes less threatening and more understood.

Relational shame: Relational shame is triggered by the fear of how others will see you. It is deeply social and rooted in attachment systems. You may feel intense distress about disappointing others, losing respect, or being rejected if the truth is known. This is especially common after scams because the betrayal involved trust, intimacy, or credibility.

Internalized shame: Internalized shame develops when repeated messages, experiences, or cultural narratives become absorbed into your self-concept. Over time, the shame no longer needs an external trigger. Your own inner voice carries it. After scams, internalized shame often mirrors victim-blaming messages absorbed from society, media, or unsupportive responses.

Toxic shame: Toxic shame is persistent, global, and immobilizing. It does not guide learning or repair. Instead, it shuts you down, isolates you, and interferes with recovery. Toxic shame is strongly associated with trauma, depression, and withdrawal. It thrives in secrecy and silence.

Adaptive or healthy shame: This is the least discussed but still important variant. Adaptive shame is brief and proportional. It helps signal a social boundary or a need for repair without attacking your identity. In recovery work, the goal is not to eliminate all shame, but to reduce toxic and implicit forms so that only adaptive signals remain, if any.

Somatic or body-based shame: This variant lives primarily in physical reactions rather than thoughts. You may feel a collapsed posture, urge to hide, heat in your face, or a sinking feeling in your chest without clear self-criticism. This form overlaps strongly with implicit shame and reflects nervous system memory rather than conscious belief.

A key recovery insight

Many people try to resolve shame using logic alone. That works best for explicit and situational shame. Core, implicit, relational, and somatic shame usually require safety, regulation, repetition, and supportive relationships. They change through experience, not argument.

Recognizing which shame variant you are dealing with can help you choose the right recovery tools and reduce the belief that you are “not trying hard enough.” In reality, different kinds of shame heal in different ways and at different speeds.

Prof. Tim McGuinness, Ph.D.
February 2026