Scam Victim Recovery Insights
From the SCARS Institute
Good Days and Bad Days for Scam Victims in Recovery
A SCARS Institute Scam Victim Recovery Insight
The journey of recovery for a scam victim is rarely a straight, upward-climbing road.
It is far more accurately depicted as a jagged, unpredictable terrain of peaks and valleys, a constant oscillation between good days and bad days.
This non-linear progression is not a sign of your failure or a regression in healing, but a fundamental and expected part of the process. Understanding this rhythm is one of the most crucial elements for you to learn, as it prevents the despair that comes with believing a bad day means all your progress is lost.
A “good day” in recovery can feel like a miraculous gift.
On these days, the sun seems to shine a little brighter. You might wake up and, for a few precious moments, the weight of the trauma is not the first thing you feel. You could find yourself laughing genuinely at a joke, engaging in a hobby with a sense of presence you thought was gone forever, or feeling a flicker of optimism about the future.
These days are often marked by clarity, where the scam feels like a chapter in a book you have finished reading, rather than a living, breathing wound. It is on these good days that you can truly see the progress you have made. You can connect with friends, trust your own judgment, and feel a sense of agency that was shattered by the betrayal. These days are the fuel for your recovery, the proof that a life beyond the trauma is not only possible, but within your reach. They are the glimpse of hope in the future, the joyous turn that feels tangible and real.
Then, without warning, a “bad day” arrives. It can be triggered by something specific, a news report about scams, a song that reminds you of the scammer, or a well-meaning but insensitive comment from a friend. Or, more bewilderingly, it can arrive for no apparent reason at all.
On these days, you feel as if you have been thrown back in time. The shame, the guilt, and the crushing sense of foolishness return with full force. The world feels threatening again, and every interaction is filtered through your lens of suspicion and fear. The emotional exhaustion is profound, and you may feel as though all the work you have done has been erased. This is the most dangerous part of your journey, because the natural conclusion is to believe the lie: “I’m never going to get better. I’m broken.”
The critical truth is that a bad day is not a reversal; it is a ripple. It is the aftershock of a massive seismic event.
The trauma of a deep betrayal does not heal in a neat line. Your brain and nervous system are recalibrating, and this process is messy. Think of it like a physical wound. On some days, the scar looks less inflamed, and the pain is minimal. On other days, for no clear reason, it can ache and feel tender again. This does not mean the wound has reopened; it means the nerve endings are still healing. The same is true for your psychological trauma. A bad day is not a sign that your wound is bleeding anew; it is a sign that the deep tissue is still mending.
The key to navigating this cycle is to stop judging the days and start observing them.
A good day is not a license for you to forget the work, and a bad day is not a verdict on your failure. Both are part of the same process.
The goal is not for you to eliminate the bad days; that is an impossible standard, but to change your relationship with them. It is about you learning to say, “Today is a bad day. I feel the pain, I honor it, and I know that it will pass.” To remind yourself that “I was not your fault,” “you are a survivor,” “you are not alone,” and “you are worthy!”
It is about building the resilience to weather the storm without being swept out to sea. Over time, as your healing deepens, the good days will slowly start to outnumber the bad. The bad days will become less frequent, less intense, and shorter in duration. But they may never disappear entirely, and that is okay.
Your journey is not about erasing the past, but about you learning to dance in the rain, knowing that the sun will eventually shine again.
Prof. Tim McGuinness, Ph.D.
January 2026
This is but one component, one piece of the puzzle …
Understanding how the human mind is manipulated and controlled involves recognizing that the tactics employed by deceivers are multifaceted and complex. This information is just one aspect of a broader spectrum of vulnerabilities, tendencies, and techniques that permit us to be influenced and deceived. To grasp the full extent of how our minds can be influenced, it is essential to examine all the various processes and functions of our brains and minds, methods and strategies used the criminals, and our psychological tendencies (such as cognitive biases) that enable deception. Each part contributes to a larger puzzle, revealing how our perceptions and decisions can be subtly swayed. By appreciating the diverse ways in which manipulation occurs, we gain a more comprehensive understanding of the challenges we face in avoiding deception in its many forms.
“Thufir Hawat: Now, remember, the first step in avoiding a *trap* – is knowing of its existence.” — DUNE
“If you can fully understand your own mind, you can avoid any deception!” — Tim McGuinness, Ph.D.
“The essence of bravery is being without self-deception.” — Pema Chödrön
