Scam Victim Scammer Obsession – Part 1
The Obsessive Focus of Scam Victims on Scammers is Unhealthy!
Primary Category: Scam Victim Recovery Psychology
Authors:
• Vianey Gonzalez B.Sc(Psych) – Psychologist, Certified Deception Professional, Psychology Advisory Panel & Director of the Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Inc.
• Tim McGuinness, Ph.D. – Anthropologist, Scientist, Director of the Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Inc.
About This Article
Nearly a quarter of scam victims develop an obsessive focus on scammers, fake profiles, and scam details as a negative coping mechanism to manage their trauma. This obsession provides a temporary sense of control and purpose, distracting from the emotional pain and feelings of betrayal.
The need to “do something,” often driven by a desire for justice or validation, can prevent victims from processing their emotions and moving forward in recovery. This fixation can lead to heightened stress, anxiety, and isolation, as victims become consumed with uncovering and exposing scammers.
To break this cycle, it’s crucial for victims to recognize this behavior as harmful and seek healthier ways to cope, such as professional counseling, structured support groups, and personal growth activities.
By shifting focus from the external elements of the scam to their own healing, victims can begin to rebuild their lives and move beyond the trauma.
A Note About Labeling!
We often use the term ‘scam victim’ in our articles, but this is a convenience to help those searching for information in search engines like Google. It is just a convenience and has no deeper meaning. If you have come through such an experience, YOU are a Survivor! It was not your fault. You are not alone! Axios!
The Obsessive Focus of Scam Victims on Scammers: A Negative Coping Mechanism for Trauma
It’s estimated that nearly a quarter of scam victims develop an obsessive focus on the scammers, fake profiles, and the details of the scam itself.
This behavior serves as a coping mechanism (maladaptive coping mechanism,) a way to deflect from the deep trauma they have experienced. The need to “do something” becomes a driving force, providing a sense of purpose and control amidst the chaos and helplessness they feel.
Understanding the Obsession
After falling victim to a scam, the shock and betrayal can be overwhelming. Many victims find themselves replaying the events, questioning how they could have been deceived, and seeking answers to make sense of what happened. This can lead to an obsessive focus on the scammers and the details of the scam. Victims may spend countless hours searching for information about the perpetrators, exposing fake profiles, or engaging in online forums where scams are obsessively discussed.
This obsession serves as a distraction from the intense emotional pain associated with the scam. By concentrating on the external aspects of the scam—the scammers and their tactics—victims can momentarily escape the internal turmoil of guilt, shame, and anger. The act of investigating and exposing scammers provides a temporary sense of agency and control, which can be comforting when victims feel powerless and violated.
The Need to “Do Something”
For many victims, the drive to expose scammers is fueled by a desperate need to “do something” in response to the trauma they have experienced. This need often stems from a desire for justice or revenge, as well as a wish to prevent others from falling victim to similar scams. It can also be a way to validate their experience, proving to themselves and others that the scam was real and that they were not simply naïve or foolish.
However, while this focus can provide short-term relief, it comes at a huge psychological cost.
The obsessive behavior can prevent victims from fully processing their emotions and moving forward with their recovery. It can also perpetuate a state of heightened stress and anxiety, as they are constantly exposed to reminders of the trauma. In some cases, this fixation can lead to further isolation and withdrawal from supportive relationships, as the victim becomes consumed by their quest to uncover and expose scammers.
It also surrounds them with like-minded obsessive individuals who form an echo chamber where rational approaches to recover are shot down in favor of chasing justice.
Moving Beyond the Obsession
To move beyond this obsessive focus, it is important for victims to recognize it as a negative coping mechanism and to seek healthier ways to process their emotions.
Professional support providers (such as SCARS Institute) and counseling or therapy can be invaluable in helping victims work through their feelings and develop more constructive coping strategies.
Support groups or community resources can also provide a safe space for victims to share their experiences and receive validation without becoming fixated on the scam. However, unless a support group is managed by professionals, it just becomes another echo chamber filled with urban legends, false information, and anti-scammer hate.
Focusing on personal growth and self-care is the crucial step in the recovery process. Engaging in activities that promote well-being, such as exercise, creative pursuits, or mindfulness practices, can help victims reconnect with themselves and their interests, fostering a sense of normalcy and hope. It’s also important for victims to set boundaries with their involvement in exposing scammers, ensuring that it does not overshadow other aspects of their lives or hinder their healing.
Ultimately, while the drive to expose scammers and seek justice is understandable, it is essential for victims to work on letting it go so they can focus on their own recovery and well-being. By shifting their focus from the external to the internal, and by prioritizing their own healing journey, victims can begin to rebuild their lives and move beyond the trauma of the scam.
Moving Forward
Letting go and moving forward begins with factual knowledge about these crimes, the criminals, and what they do to victims. SCARS recommends the following:
- Start learning properly at www.ScamVictimsSupport.org
- Sign up for FREE professional support services at support.AgainstScams.org
- Learn the facts to empower your recovery by enrolling in the FREE Scam Survivor’s School at www.SCARSeducation.org
- Find counseling or trauma therapy at counseling.AgainstScams.org
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Important Information for New Scam Victims
- Please visit www.ScamVictimsSupport.org – a SCARS Website for New Scam Victims & Sextortion Victims
- SCARS Institute now offers a free recovery program at www.SCARSeducation.org
- Please visit www.ScamPsychology.org – to more fully understand the psychological concepts involved in scams and scam victim recovery
If you are looking for local trauma counselors please visit counseling.AgainstScams.org or join SCARS for our counseling/therapy benefit: membership.AgainstScams.org
If you need to speak with someone now, you can dial 988 or find phone numbers for crisis hotlines all around the world here: www.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines
Statement About Victim Blaming
Some of our articles discuss various aspects of victims. This is both about better understanding victims (the science of victimology) and their behaviors and psychology. This helps us to educate victims/survivors about why these crimes happened and to not blame themselves, better develop recovery programs, and to help victims avoid scams in the future. At times this may sound like blaming the victim, but it does not blame scam victims, we are simply explaining the hows and whys of the experience victims have.
These articles, about the Psychology of Scams or Victim Psychology – meaning that all humans have psychological or cognitive characteristics in common that can either be exploited or work against us – help us all to understand the unique challenges victims face before, during, and after scams, fraud, or cybercrimes. These sometimes talk about some of the vulnerabilities the scammers exploit. Victims rarely have control of them or are even aware of them, until something like a scam happens and then they can learn how their mind works and how to overcome these mechanisms.
Articles like these help victims and others understand these processes and how to help prevent them from being exploited again or to help them recover more easily by understanding their post-scam behaviors. Learn more about the Psychology of Scams at www.ScamPsychology.org
SCARS Resources:
- Getting Started: ScamVictimsSupport.org
- FREE enrollment in the SCARS Institute training programs for scam victims SCARSeducation.org
- For New Victims of Relationship Scams newvictim.AgainstScams.org
- Subscribe to SCARS Newsletter newsletter.againstscams.org
- Sign up for SCARS professional support & recovery groups, visit support.AgainstScams.org
- Find competent trauma counselors or therapists, visit counseling.AgainstScams.org
- Become a SCARS Member and get free counseling benefits, visit membership.AgainstScams.org
- Report each and every crime, learn how to at reporting.AgainstScams.org
- Learn more about Scams & Scammers at RomanceScamsNOW.com and ScamsNOW.com
- Learn more about the Psychology of Scams and Scam Victims: ScamPsychology.org
- Self-Help Books for Scam Victims are at shop.AgainstScams.org
- Donate to SCARS and help us help others at donate.AgainstScams.org
- Worldwide Crisis Hotlines: International Suicide Hotlines – OpenCounseling : OpenCounseling
- Campaign To End Scam Victim Blaming – 2024 (scamsnow.com)
Psychology Disclaimer:
All articles about psychology and the human brain on this website are for information & education only
The information provided in this and other SCARS articles are intended for educational and self-help purposes only and should not be construed as a substitute for professional therapy or counseling.
Note about Mindfulness: Mindfulness practices have the potential to create psychological distress for some individuals. Please consult a mental health professional or experienced meditation instructor for guidance should you encounter difficulties.
While any self-help techniques outlined herein may be beneficial for scam victims seeking to recover from their experience and move towards recovery, it is important to consult with a qualified mental health professional before initiating any course of action. Each individual’s experience and needs are unique, and what works for one person may not be suitable for another.
Additionally, any approach may not be appropriate for individuals with certain pre-existing mental health conditions or trauma histories. It is advisable to seek guidance from a licensed therapist or counselor who can provide personalized support, guidance, and treatment tailored to your specific needs.
If you are experiencing significant distress or emotional difficulties related to a scam or other traumatic event, please consult your doctor or mental health provider for appropriate care and support.
If you are in crisis, feeling desperate, or in despair please call 988 or your local crisis hotline.
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