You Are Afraid – This Is Completely Normal

A SCARS Institute Scam Victim Recovery Insight

You have just discovered the truth. You are a victim of a scam, and the world you thought you knew has just shattered.

You are shocked, overcome, and afraid. Maybe you are even angry.

These feelings are a tidal wave, and it is completely understandable to feel like you are drowning. So now what do you do?

The first thing is to accept one simple fact: you need help. Not just talking to other victims to validate your story, though that can be useful. What you feel is valid, but the wounds from this are deep. This is called psychological trauma, and it comes from the profound betrayal and how your mind and brain respond to it. You are not at fault; criminals did this to you. But to get back on your feet, you will need help to navigate this.

Very few can make it through this without help, and most of those who try on their own, fail.

What is most important right now is that you get started on your path to recovery. Pride, shame, and guilt are only going to get in the way. The fear you feel is real, but it does not have to be your permanent state. If you can accept help and follow a path developed by the SCARS Institute, you can make it through this. Is that not what you really want? To recover from this experience and reclaim your life?

The first and most critical step is to accept the emotions that are flooding you right now. It is a painful and uncomfortable process, but facing what you are feeling inside is essential for you to begin healing from this trauma.

Acknowledge how you feel without judgment. You might feel a sinking feeling in your chest, a rush of shame or embarrassment, anxiety about what to do next, or a profound sense of vulnerability. You are afraid to speak up because you might be judged. These are all normal reactions to a deeply abnormal event. You are not alone in these feelings; they are a shared human response to being victimized. The blame falls on those who scammed you, not on you for their criminal behavior. It is unreasonable to expect that you can predict and prepare for absolutely every possibility, especially when faced with a professional manipulator.

Once you have begun to acknowledge your emotions, the next step is to reach out for support. We are here to help you. Yopur can join our Survivors’ Support Community right now at www.SCARScommunity.org/register

When you go through anything difficult in life, you lean on your existing support network of family and friends, and this experience should be no different, except that, unless they are professionals in trauma recovery, they are not going to be able to help you as effectively.

Once you have begun to acknowledge your emotions, the next step is to reach out for support from your personal network and from support professionals.

Think about who in your life is a safe, supportive person you can trust. When you talk to them, look for people who listen and empathize without judgment. A true supporter will not say things like, “How could you fall for that?” or “I get those emails all the time and I never fall for it.” Instead, they will offer a compassionate ear and remind you that criminals are incredibly skilled at deception and that being scammed is not a sign of weakness. Their role is not to fix your thinking or provide therapy, but to offer comfort and a safe space for you to be heard, which is an invaluable part of your foundation for healing.

While support from loved ones is vital, the emotional and psychological consequences of a scam are often too complex to handle alone. This is why professional help is not just a good idea; it is essential.

These crimes leave deep, lasting wounds. You feel vulnerable, helpless, and a host of other emotions, such as shame, embarrassment, anxiety, guilt, depression, fear, anger, grief, and a loss of trust and sense of security. This is psychological trauma, and it requires specialized care. A trained trauma-informed support provider and a therapist or counselor can provide a confidential and safe space for you to process what has happened. They can help you understand how easy it is for anyone to become a victim of a scam and give you the tools to heal and recover. You are not alone.

Very few can make it through the deep emotional impact of a scam without professional guidance, and trying to do so often prolongs the pain and increases the risk of long-term issues like anxiety, depression, and post-traumatic stress.

Along with seeking professional help, you must actively engage in self-care. This is not an indulgence; it is an essential part of your healing.

Self-care can take many different forms. It includes tending to your physical needs such as eating right, getting enough sleep, and exercising. It also means learning skills for mental health, like knowing your limits, implementing healthy boundaries, and saying no when you need to. Self-care is also about engaging in pleasurable activities that remind you of who you are outside of this trauma. Dive into things you enjoy, whether it is getting out into nature, tapping into your artistic or musical side, or investing in yourself through classes or reading. This is how you start to rebuild your sense of self and regain the energy that the trauma has stolen from you.

Learning is the essential tool to help you reset your mind and to fully understand, both what happened to you, and how your mind and body work, so you can fully recover.

Finally, you must work on shifting your thinking. It is very common to get stuck in a loop of rumination, focusing endlessly on all the things you wish you had done differently. This is a trap. Instead, you need to focus your energy on the things you can control, not the things you cannot. One of the most important shifts you can make is to stop thinking you need to forgive yourself. You did not make a mistake; you are the victim of a crime. Scamming is a crime, and you did not choose to have this happen to you. Try to shift your focus to accepting what has happened and focusing on what is in your control to start the healing process. This is one of the hardest areas of healing, but it is also one of the most freeing.

The path forward is not easy, but it is there. It starts with acknowledging your pain, leaning on your support system, seeking professional help, practicing self-care, and shifting your focus from blame to recovery. The fear you feel right now is real, but it does not have to be the end of your story. You can make it through this with help.

Prof. Tim McGuinness, Ph.D.
January 2026