‘Power’ as a Destructive Force in Recovery

Power or Empowerment as a Destructive Force: A Nuanced Perspective on Scam Victim Recovery

Primary Category: Scam Victim Recovery Psychology

Authors:
•  Vianey Gonzalez B.Sc(Psych) – Licensed Psychologist, Specialty in Crime Victim Trauma Therapy, Neuropsychologist, Certified Deception Professional, Psychology Advisory Panel & Director of the Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Inc.
•  Tim McGuinness, Ph.D., DFin, MCPO, MAnth – Anthropologist, Scientist, Polymath, Director of the Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Inc.

Author Biographies Below

About This Article

Scam victims often struggle with the complex role that power plays in recovery, since the pursuit of control, justice, or external validation can feel helpful but may ultimately deepen distress. Efforts to reclaim power through revenge, legal action, or public attention can create a cycle of obsession, emotional exhaustion, and isolation that delays genuine healing. While empowerment is intended to restore personal agency, it can become distorted into hyperindependence or unhealthy dependence on external outcomes. Strength, in contrast, emerges from internal resilience, self-compassion, emotional honesty, and supportive connection. Victims who shift from chasing power to cultivating strength often experience more sustainable progress, greater clarity, and deeper recovery. This inward focus helps rebuild well-being without relying on external validation.

Note: This article is intended for informational purposes and does not replace professional medical advice. If you are experiencing distress, please consult a qualified mental health professional.

Power as a Destructive Force: A Nuanced Perspective on Scam Victim Recovery

Power, in its various forms, can indeed be a destructive force, particularly in the context of scam victim recovery. While power can provide a sense of control and justice, it can also lead to unintended consequences that may hinder rather than aid the healing process. Understanding the potential destructive aspects of power is crucial for scam victims as they navigate their journey towards recovery.

What is Empowerment?

Empowerment, in the context of emotional development, is the fundamental process of recognizing and claiming your personal agency. It is the profound shift from seeing yourself as a passive recipient of life’s events to an active participant who can influence your own thoughts, feelings, and circumstances. It is about moving from a mindset of “things are happening to me” to one of “I can make choices and take action.” This involves developing self-awareness to understand your own needs and values, building self-confidence to believe in your ability to meet challenges, and establishing boundaries to protect your well-being. True empowerment is not loud or aggressive; it is a quiet, internal state of knowing that you have a voice and that your choices matter. It is the foundation upon which resilience is built, allowing you to navigate adversity not by avoiding it, but by facing it with the knowledge that you have the inner resources to endure and adapt.

However, empowerment is not a simple or purely positive concept; it carries a significant downside that is often overlooked. The very act of claiming your power comes with a heavy burden: responsibility. When you are no longer able to blame external forces or other people for your situation, you must own your role in it. This can be a terrifying and uncomfortable realization. Empowerment means accepting that your decisions, both good and bad, have led you to your present reality. For someone healing from trauma, this can feel dangerously close to self-blame. Also, a distorted or premature sense of empowerment can manifest as a rigid, hyper-independent stance. It can become a shield to prevent further vulnerability, leading a person to push away genuine help and support because they believe they “should” be able to handle everything alone. This can result in isolation and burnout. True, healthy empowerment is not about becoming an invulnerable fortress. It is about understanding your strength (limited though it may be) while also having the wisdom to know when to lean on others, balancing personal agency with the humility to accept help.

The Challenge of Power and Empowerment in Scam Victim Recovery

In the aftermath of a scam, victims often find themselves on a tumultuous journey towards healing and recovery. One of the most significant challenges they face is the concept of power and empowerment. While these terms are often used interchangeably and are generally seen as positive forces, they can actually present a formidable obstacle to genuine recovery and personal growth.

Power, at its core, is a force exerted upon someone or something. It is an external influence that seeks to control, dominate, or change the course of events. In the context of scam recovery, the pursuit of power might manifest as a desire to seek justice, reclaim losses, or hold perpetrators accountable. While these goals are understandable and even commendable, they often stem from a place of anger, frustration, and a need for external validation.

Empowerment, on the other hand, is the assumption of power. It is the belief that one can exert influence and control over their circumstances. In scam recovery, empowerment might be sought through legal action, media attention, or financial compensation. However, this pursuit of empowerment can sometimes lead victims down a path of obsession and dependency on external factors for their sense of worth and healing. Empowerment is not a TRUTH; it is a means to a truth.

The challenge lies in the fact that power and empowerment, while they may provide a temporary sense of control and justice, do not address the deeper emotional and psychological wounds that scams can inflict. They offer a band-aid solution to a much more complex and profound issue. Scam victims often believe that by gaining power or becoming empowered, they can right the wrongs of their past and find closure. However, this external focus can delay the internal work of healing and personal growth, leaving victims feeling unfulfilled and stuck in a cycle of resentment and unmet expectations.

Strength, in contrast, is what scam victims truly need and should desire, even if their own minds lead them to believe otherwise.

Strength is an internal quality that encompasses resilience, courage, and the ability to endure and overcome challenges. It is about facing adversity with grace, learning from experiences, and growing as a person. Strength is not about exerting force on others or assuming control; it is about empowering oneself from within, recognizing one’s own worth and capabilities, and finding the courage to face one’s experiences with honesty and compassion.

The journey from power to strength is not an easy one. It requires a shift in perspective, a willingness to look inward, and the courage to embrace vulnerability. It involves acknowledging the pain and betrayal that come with being scammed, and using these experiences as a catalyst for growth and self-discovery. Strength is about finding the power within oneself to heal, to forgive, and to move forward with purpose and resilience.

The distinctions between power and strength, the challenges they present in the recovery process, and the practical steps scam victims can take to cultivate strength and achieve genuine healing and empowerment can make all the difference in recovery. By understanding these concepts and their implications, scam victims can navigate their recovery journey with greater clarity, purpose, and self-compassion, ultimately emerging stronger and more resilient than ever before.

The Dual Nature of Power

Power, by its very nature, is a dual-edged sword. It can be a source of strength and empowerment, but it can also become a tool for manipulation, control, and even self-destruction. In the context of scam recovery, power can manifest in several ways, each with its own set of potential destructive outcomes.

• Obsession with Justice: The pursuit of justice can become an all-consuming obsession, leading victims to neglect their own emotional and psychological well-being. This fixation on external validation and retribution can delay the internal work of healing and personal growth.
• Revenge and Retribution: Seeking revenge against scammers or those perceived to be responsible can provide a temporary sense of satisfaction, but it often leaves deeper emotional scars. The cycle of anger and resentment can be difficult to break, and it may prevent victims from moving forward with their lives.
• External Validation: Relying too heavily on external power, such as legal victories or public recognition, can create a dependence on others’ approval and validation. This external focus can detract from the internal work of self-acceptance and self-compassion, which are essential for true healing.
• Loss of Perspective: The pursuit of power can sometimes lead to a loss of perspective, where the victim becomes so focused on their quest for justice or revenge that they lose sight of the bigger picture. This narrow focus can prevent them from seeing the opportunities for growth and learning that their experience offers.

The Destructive Cycle of Power

The destructive cycle of power in scam recovery often follows a pattern:

1. Initial Trauma: The scam victim experiences a profound sense of betrayal, loss, and emotional pain. This trauma can be overwhelming and disorienting.
2. Seek Power: In response to this trauma, the victim seeks power as a means of regaining control and finding justice. This might involve legal action, media campaigns, or other forms of external validation.
3. Temporary Relief: Initially, the pursuit of power can provide a sense of relief and purpose. The victim feels like they are taking action and making a difference.
4. Escalation: As the victim becomes more invested in their quest for power, it can escalate into an all-consuming obsession. They may become increasingly focused on external validation and less on their internal healing.
5. Isolation: The pursuit of power can sometimes lead to isolation, as the victim becomes disconnected from their support network and focused solely on their goal. This isolation can exacerbate feelings of loneliness and despair.
6. Burnout and Despair: Eventually, the relentless pursuit of power can lead to burnout and a deep sense of despair. The victim may feel that their efforts are futile, and they are no closer to healing or moving forward.
7. Cycle Repeats: Without intervention, this cycle can repeat, with the victim continually seeking new sources of power and external validation, never fully addressing the underlying emotional wounds.

Breaking the Cycle: Cultivating Strength Over Power

To break the destructive cycle of power, scam victims must shift their focus from external validation to internal strength and resilience. This shift involves recognizing the limitations and negative aspects of power and embracing the transformative potential of strength.

• Acknowledge the Emotions: The first step is to acknowledge (and name) and validate the emotions that arise from being scammed. Anger, sadness, betrayal, and shame are all normal responses, and suppressing them in favor of pursuing power can be counterproductive.
• Practice Self-Compassion: Cultivate self-compassion by treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer to a dear friend. This involves recognizing your pain, offering yourself comfort, and avoiding self-criticism.
• Develop Resilience: Resilience is the ability to bounce back from adversity and adapt to change. Building resilience involves developing coping strategies, seeking support, and engaging in activities that promote physical, emotional, and mental well-being.
• Seek Professional Help: Working with a therapist or counselor who specializes in trauma-informed care, dissonance, and scam recovery can provide a safe space to process your experiences and develop healthy coping mechanisms.
• Connect with Others: Building a support network of friends, family, and fellow scam victims can provide a sense of community and belonging. Sharing your experiences and learning from others can offer new perspectives and sources of strength. We recommend that you join our free, safe, and private Survivor’s Community at www.SCARScommunity.org
• Focus on Personal Growth: Shift your focus from external power to internal growth. Engage in activities that promote self-discovery, such as journaling, meditation, or creative expression. These practices can help you gain insights into your emotions and develop a deeper understanding of yourself.
• Set Realistic Goals: Set achievable goals for your recovery journey that focus on personal growth and healing, rather than external validation. Celebrate your progress, no matter how small, and be patient with yourself as you navigate the challenges of recovery.

The Transformative Power of Strength

Strength, in contrast to power, offers a more sustainable and transformative path to healing. It involves embracing your vulnerability, acknowledging your pain, and using these experiences as a source of growth and resilience. Strength is about empowering yourself from within, recognizing your own worth and capabilities, and finding the courage to face your experiences with honesty and compassion.

By cultivating strength, you can break free from the destructive cycle of power and create a more balanced and fulfilling approach to recovery. This shift allows you to heal at your own pace, on your own terms, and with a deeper sense of self-awareness and emotional intelligence.

The Danger of Empowerment Gurus

The allure of empowerment is universal, especially for those who feel powerless, but this very need makes individuals dangerously vulnerable to amateur or savior empowerment doctrines, philosophies, and scams. These systems often present themselves as the antidote to a life of frustration, offering a simple, compelling path to personal power, wealth, or happiness. They are frequently built around a charismatic “savior” figure who claims to have cracked the code to success or a rigid philosophy that promises to unlock your hidden potential. The danger lies not in the promise of self-improvement itself, but in the seductive oversimplification of complex human struggles and the exploitation of the very vulnerabilities they claim to heal.

For those who have suffered psychological trauma, the pursuit of empowerment or power can become a dangerous and paradoxical trap. Trauma shatters a person’s sense of safety and control, leaving a profound void of helplessness that can create an insatiable hunger for agency. This hunger, however, can be easily misdirected. Instead of seeking the quiet, internal strength of self-regulation and self-compassion, the traumatized individual often grasps for external, performative power as a shield against future vulnerability. This can manifest as a rigid hyper-independence, an aggressive need to control every aspect of their environment and relationships, or an attraction to rigid, authoritarian ideologies that promise strength through dominance. This quest for power is not true healing; it is a sophisticated defense mechanism. By focusing on controlling the outside world, the individual avoids the terrifying and painful work of confronting their internal wounds. Ultimately, this pursuit only reinforces the trauma’s core lesson of mistrust, isolating the person and preventing the development of the genuine, resilient empowerment that comes from learning to feel safe and secure within oneself.

Amateur empowerment doctrines, often found in simplistic self-help books or social media gurus, thrive on toxic positivity and platitudes. They promote the idea that mindset alone can overcome any obstacle, suggesting that trauma, systemic inequality, or mental illness can be conquered by simply “thinking positively,” “Just Let Go,” or “manifesting abundance.” For someone genuinely struggling, this message is not empowering; it is invalidating. When their efforts do not yield the promised results, they do not blame the flawed doctrine; they blame themselves. This deepens their shame and sense of failure, making them feel even more broken than when they started. It creates a vicious cycle where they invest more money and emotional energy into the doctrine, convinced they are the ones who are not doing it right, while the “guru” profits from their despair.

Savior empowerment scams are a more direct and predatory evolution of this. Here, a charismatic leader positions themselves as the sole holder of secret knowledge or a unique path to salvation. This can range from high-ticket investment schemes promising financial freedom to cult-like groups demanding total devotion. The savior creates an “us versus them” mentality, isolating followers from their critical-thinking friends and family, who are framed as negative or unenlightened. The doctrine is intentionally confusing and convoluted, making the follower feel dependent on the leader’s interpretation. The “empowerment” offered is conditional and performative; it is granted only when the follower demonstrates absolute loyalty, often by sacrificing their finances, relationships, or personal autonomy. The ultimate goal is not the follower’s empowerment, but the leader’s enrichment and aggrandizement.

The core danger of these systems is that they replace authentic empowerment with a counterfeit version. True empowerment is an internal process of building self-awareness, critical thinking, strength, resilience, and self-trust. It is messy, gradual, and involves confronting uncomfortable truths about oneself and the world. Savior’s and amateur’s doctrines offer an external shortcut. They ask you to outsource your power to a book, a philosophy, a video or podcast, or a person. They promise to give you the answers so you do not have to do the difficult work of finding them yourself. In the end, individuals who fall for these scams are often left more disempowered than before, having not only lost their time and money but also their faith in their own ability to navigate their life. The true path to empowerment is not about finding a savior; it is about learning to become your own.

Just to be crystal clear, the SCARS Institute earns zero revenue from the work we do to educate scam victims. This website does not have ads, nor does any SCARS website. We do this because we are professionals and it is our avocation.

Conclusion

Power, while it can provide a sense of control and justice, can also be a destructive force in scam victim recovery. Its pursuit can lead to obsession, isolation, and a loss of perspective, preventing victims from addressing the deeper emotional and psychological wounds that scams inflict. By recognizing the potential destructive aspects of power and shifting focus towards cultivating strength and resilience, scam victims can break free from this cycle and embark on a more transformative and healing journey.

Remember, your recovery is a personal and unique experience, and what works for one person may not work for another. Be kind to yourself as you navigate the challenges of healing, and trust in your inner strength to guide you towards a brighter, more empowered future. You have the power within you to overcome this experience and emerge stronger, wiser, and more resilient than ever before.

Glossary

• Acknowledge the Emotions — This term describes the deliberate act of noticing and naming feelings such as anger, grief, fear, and shame after a scam. When a person acknowledges emotions instead of suppressing them, those feelings become easier to understand and manage. This step supports healthier decisions during recovery.
• Amateur Empowerment Doctrines — These are simplistic self-help systems that claim to offer fast empowerment through catchy slogans or rigid rules. They often ignore trauma, inequality, and mental health, and suggest that mindset alone solves everything. A victim who follows these doctrines may feel more broken when results do not appear.
• Authoritarian Ideologies — These belief systems promise strength through domination, rigid control, and strict rules. A traumatized person may feel drawn to them as a way to avoid vulnerability. Over time, these ideologies can reduce independent thinking and deepen mistrust.
• Band-Aid Solution — This describes a quick fix that covers pain without addressing deeper wounds. In scam recovery, focusing only on power, revenge, or public attention can act as a band-aid. The underlying trauma remains and continues to influence thoughts and behavior.
• Burnout — Burnout is a state of emotional, mental, and sometimes physical exhaustion caused by prolonged stress or overwork. A scam victim may reach burnout after long battles for justice or constant focus on the scam. This exhaustion can worsen hopelessness and delay healing.
• Conditional Empowerment — This occurs when a person feels strong or valued only if they follow certain rules or please a leader, group, or system. Their sense of power becomes dependent on outside approval. This keeps them vulnerable to further manipulation.
• Destructive Cycle of Power — This is a repeating pattern in which a person seeks power to cope with trauma, feels brief relief, then becomes more obsessed with control or justice. The cycle often ends in isolation, burnout, and deeper despair. Recovery requires stepping out of this pattern and turning inward toward healing.
• External Focus — External focus means directing most attention toward outcomes, recognition, or actions in the outside world. After a scam, this may show up as fixation on lawsuits, media coverage, or public punishment of the offender. Excessive external focus can delay emotional recovery.
• External Validation — This refers to relying heavily on praise, recognition, or approval from others to feel worthwhile. A scam victim may chase legal wins, media stories, or social media responses to feel seen. When these do not come, self-worth can crash.
• Genuine Empowerment — Genuine empowerment is the slow, honest development of inner confidence, clarity, and responsibility. It respects limits and still allows a person to seek help. This type of empowerment supports long-term recovery instead of quick emotional highs.
• Hyper Independence — Hyper independence is an extreme form of self-reliance that refuses help or support. A traumatized person may decide that accepting help is a weakness or danger. This stance can protect in the short term, but often leads to exhaustion and loneliness.
• Initial Trauma — Initial trauma refers to the first impact of discovering the scam and its losses. It often brings shock, confusion, and a collapse of trust. How this moment is handled can shape the course of recovery.
• Inner Resources — Inner resources are the personal qualities that help someone cope with stress, such as courage, insight, patience, and faith in their ability to survive. Scams can make these feel lost or small. Recovery helps a person rediscover and strengthen these resources.
• Internal Growth — Internal growth is the process of developing insight, emotional skills, and wisdom from painful experiences. Instead of only changing outside circumstances, a person learns about their patterns, needs, and values. This growth supports a more stable recovery and future safety.
• Isolation in Recovery — Isolation in recovery describes pulling away from others because of shame, mistrust, or obsession with justice. A scam victim may feel safer alone yet also more hopeless. Gentle reconnection with safe people can help break this pattern.
• Loss of Perspective — Loss of perspective occurs when a single goal, such as revenge or public vindication, dominates a person’s thinking. Other needs, relationships, and opportunities fade into the background. This narrow view can block healing and new choices.
• Obsession with Justice — Obsession with justice is an intense, consuming focus on punishing offenders or proving what happened. While justice is legitimate, obsession can take over daily life and health. A person may delay emotional healing while waiting for outcomes they cannot fully control.
• Performative Power — Performative power is a show of strength meant mainly to impress others or hide vulnerability. It may appear as aggressive posts, boasting, or hard talk about never being hurt again. This performance often covers unhealed pain.
• Predatory Empowerment Scams — These are schemes that sell expensive programs, memberships, or “secret knowledge” under the promise of empowerment. They often target people who feel powerless after trauma. Victims may lose more money and trust while never gaining real strength.
• Resentment Cycle — The resentment cycle is a repeating loop of anger, bitterness, and rehearsed grievances. After a scam, this can center on scammers, institutions, or even oneself. Without release or processing, resentment drains energy needed for recovery.
• Resilience — Resilience is the capacity to recover, adapt, and continue living meaningfully after harm. It does not erase pain or loss. Instead, it reflects the ability to gradually rebuild life and identity in the presence of that history.
• Revenge and Retribution — Revenge and retribution describe actions meant to hurt or punish those who caused harm. These acts may bring a brief sense of satisfaction. Over time, they often deepen anger and keep a person tied to the scam.
• Savior Empowerment Gurus — Savior empowerment gurus are charismatic leaders who claim to possess unique answers to pain, wealth, or success. They often demand loyalty, money, or personal sacrifice from followers. Their goal is usually their own gain, not true healing for victims.
• Self-Acceptance — Self-acceptance is the practice of recognizing one’s experiences, traits, and history without harsh judgment. A scam victim who builds self-acceptance can see the scam as part of their story rather than proof of worthlessness. This attitude supports healthier choices and relationships.
• Self-Compassion — Self-compassion means treating oneself with the same kindness and understanding offered to a close friend in pain. It allows a person to acknowledge suffering without adding self-criticism. This stance reduces shame and supports emotional recovery.
• Self-Regulation — Self-regulation is the ability to notice, manage, and calm emotional reactions. It may include breathing exercises, grounding skills, or healthy routines. Better self-regulation helps a scam victim face memories and stress without becoming overwhelmed.
• Self-Trust — Self-trust is confidence in one’s own judgment, perceptions, and decisions. Scams often damage this trust and lead to constant self-doubt. Rebuilding self-trust involves small, safe decisions that show a person they can learn and choose wisely again.
• Strength (Inner Strength) — Inner strength is the quiet, stable ability to endure hardship, learn from it, and move forward. It does not depend on winning battles, gaining attention, or controlling others. This strength allows a person to heal on their own timeline.
• Survivor Community — A survivor community is a group of people who share similar traumatic experiences and support one another. Scam victims in such communities receive understanding and guidance without judgment. This connection helps reduce isolation and offers practical hope.
• Toxic Positivity — Toxic positivity is the insistence on staying positive at all costs, even when someone is in deep pain. It often dismisses real suffering with slogans or pressure to “move on.” Scam victims exposed to this may feel misunderstood and more alone.
• Trauma-Informed Care — Trauma-informed care is an approach used by professionals who recognize how trauma affects emotions, thoughts, and behavior. It emphasizes safety, choice, and respect. Scam victims who receive trauma-informed care are less likely to feel judged or re-traumatized.
• Us Versus Them Mentality — This mentality divides the world into insiders who “understand” and outsiders who are seen as enemies or obstacles. Some groups and gurus use it to control followers and cut off outside support. It can trap victims in echo chambers and delay true recovery.
• Vulnerability in Healing — Vulnerability in healing is the willingness to be honest about pain, fear, and needs. It may feel risky after betrayal, yet it opens the door to real support and connection. This vulnerability often becomes a source of genuine strength over time.

Author Biographies

Please Rate This Article

Please Leave Us Your Comment Below
Also, tell us of any topics we might have missed.

-/ 30 /-

What do you think about this?
Please share your thoughts in a comment above!