Rediscovering Light: How Scam Victims Can Find Joy in Life’s Small Moments

Series on Finding Joy – Part 1

Finding Joy in the Ordinary: A Path for Traumatized Scam Victims

Primary Category: Scam Victim Recovery Philosophy

Intended Audience: Scam Victims-Survivors / Family & Friends

Authors:
•  Janina Morcinek – Teacher and Educator, Scam Survivor, and Director of the Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Inc.
•  Tim McGuinness, Ph.D. – Anthropologist, Scientist, Director of the Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Inc.

About This Article

As a scam victim-survivor, you’ve faced betrayal and loss, making the big things in life—like trust and financial security—feel out of reach, but Epicurus’ philosophy offers you a path to healing through the joy in ordinary moments. “Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not,” he advised, encouraging you to find happiness in what’s already around you—a warm meal, a quiet walk, a friend’s laughter.

This article explored how these small pleasures can anchor you, helping you reclaim agency and build emotional resilience, even amidst pain. Research shows gratitude for daily joys reduces stress, and steps like starting your day with gratitude, savoring sensory experiences, keeping a joy jar, and connecting with loved ones give you practical ways to find light. Epicurus’ wisdom reminds you that joy, though small, is a powerful step toward recovery, weaving hope into your journey.

Finding Joy in the Ordinary: A Path for Traumatized Scam Victims

You’ve been through a storm—scammed, betrayed, and left with a heavy heart. The big things in life, like financial security or trust in others, feel out of control, and suffering has become a constant companion. But even in this darkness, there’s a flicker of light waiting for you: the joy in ordinary, small things. Finding that joy isn’t easy when you’re hurting, but it’s there if you look. The ancient Greek philosopher Epicurus offers wisdom to guide you, teaching that happiness lies in the simple pleasures we often overlook. Let’s explore how you, as a traumatized scam victim, can rediscover joy and reclaim a piece of your life.

Epicurus and the Pursuit of Simple Pleasures

Epicurus, who lived from 341 to 270 BCE, founded a school of thought centered on achieving happiness through modest means. He believed that true joy doesn’t come from wealth, power, or grand achievements but from the quiet, everyday moments that bring peace. “Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for,” he advised. For you, this means shifting focus from what the scam stole—money, trust, or dreams—and toward what remains: a warm cup of coffee, a sunny afternoon, or a kind word from a friend.

Epicurus taught that pleasure is the highest good, but not in the indulgent sense we might imagine. He emphasized natural, necessary pleasures—like food, shelter, and companionship—over fleeting luxuries. “The wealth required by nature is limited and is easy to procure; but the wealth required by vain ideals extends to infinity,” he said. After a scam, your world might feel shattered, with big goals like financial recovery seeming unreachable. Epicurus would urge you to find contentment in what’s already within reach, those small, ordinary things that can still spark joy.

He also recognized the role of pain in life, much like the emotional wounds you’re carrying. But he believed you can mitigate suffering by cultivating gratitude for simple pleasures. “We must, therefore, pursue the things that make for happiness, seeing that when happiness is present, we have everything; but when it is absent, we do everything to possess it,” Epicurus wrote. For you, this pursuit isn’t about ignoring your pain but balancing it with moments of lightness—a laugh, a song, a walk—that remind you life still holds beauty.

Why Joy in the Ordinary Matters for Scam Victims

When you’ve been scammed, the big things in life—your savings, your sense of safety, your trust in others—can feel like they’re spiraling out of control. A romance scam might leave you heartbroken, a financial fraud might drain your accounts, and the shame can isolate you from loved ones. In this chaos, chasing grand happiness feels impossible. That’s where the ordinary comes in. Finding joy in small things isn’t a cure, but it’s a lifeline. It’s a way to reclaim agency, to remind yourself that not everything is lost.

Epicurus would argue that these small joys are not trivial—they’re essential. A scam might have taken your money, but it can’t take the warmth of a sunny day or the comfort of your favorite book. By focusing on these moments, you start to rebuild your emotional strength. Research backs this up: a 2019 study in the Journal of Positive Psychology found that practicing gratitude for small daily experiences—like a good meal or a kind gesture—reduced stress and improved well-being in trauma survivors by 25% over six weeks. For you, this means that joy in the ordinary can be a stepping stone to healing, a way to find light even when the big picture feels dark.

Actionable Steps to Experience Joy Amidst Pain

You’re ready to find joy, but where do you start? Here are some practical steps to help you experience those small, ordinary pleasures, even as you navigate the pain of being scammed.

First, start your day with a gratitude ritual. Each morning, write down three small things you’re thankful for—a soft blanket, the smell of rain, a favorite song. This practice, inspired by Epicurus’ focus on appreciating what you have, trains your mind to notice the good around you. It doesn’t erase the pain, but it creates a counterbalance.

Next, engage your senses daily. Take five minutes to savor something simple: sip your tea slowly, noticing its warmth and flavor; step outside and feel the breeze on your skin; or listen to a bird chirping. Epicurus believed sensory pleasures are the foundation of happiness, and these moments can ground you when your thoughts spiral.

Then, create a joy jar. Find a small jar and some paper scraps. Each day, write down one ordinary thing that brought you a smile—a funny text, a blooming flower, a cozy nap—and drop it in. At the end of the week, read them. This builds a habit of seeking joy, reminding you that even in tough times, there’s something to hold onto.

Finally, connect with a friend or loved one for a low-key chat. Share a laugh over a shared memory or a silly story. Epicurus valued friendship as a key to happiness, and a brief, genuine connection can lift your spirits without overwhelming you.

The Power of Small Joys in Healing

A New Perspective on Joy

You’ve been through a lot as a scam victim, and the road to recovery can feel daunting. But Epicurus’ philosophy shows you a way forward: finding joy in the ordinary, small things that surround you every day. His teachings remind you that happiness isn’t about chasing what you’ve lost but appreciating what you still have—a sunrise, a good laugh, a moment of peace. By focusing on these simple pleasures, you’re not ignoring your pain; you’re building resilience to face it. The actionable steps—starting your day with gratitude, engaging your senses, keeping a joy jar, and connecting with a friend—give you a practical path to experience these moments, even amidst suffering. Research supports this approach, showing that gratitude for small joys can reduce stress and improve well-being, offering you a lifeline as you heal. Epicurus would encourage you to keep looking for these flickers of light, because they’re there, waiting to remind you that life, even after a scam, still holds beauty worth finding. This journey isn’t about erasing the past but about weaving new threads of joy into your present, one small step at a time.

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