Rediscovering Light: How Scam Victims Can Find Joy in Life’s Small Moments
Series on Finding Joy – Part 1
Finding Joy in the Ordinary: A Path for Traumatized Scam Victims
Primary Category: Scam Victim Recovery Philosophy
Intended Audience: Scam Victims-Survivors / Family & Friends
Authors:
• Janina Morcinek – Teacher and Educator, Scam Survivor, and Director of the Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Inc.
• Tim McGuinness, Ph.D. – Anthropologist, Scientist, Director of the Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Inc.
About This Article
As a scam victim-survivor, you’ve faced betrayal and loss, making the big things in life—like trust and financial security—feel out of reach, but Epicurus’ philosophy offers you a path to healing through the joy in ordinary moments. “Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not,” he advised, encouraging you to find happiness in what’s already around you—a warm meal, a quiet walk, a friend’s laughter.
This article explored how these small pleasures can anchor you, helping you reclaim agency and build emotional resilience, even amidst pain. Research shows gratitude for daily joys reduces stress, and steps like starting your day with gratitude, savoring sensory experiences, keeping a joy jar, and connecting with loved ones give you practical ways to find light. Epicurus’ wisdom reminds you that joy, though small, is a powerful step toward recovery, weaving hope into your journey.
Finding Joy in the Ordinary: A Path for Traumatized Scam Victims
You’ve been through a storm—scammed, betrayed, and left with a heavy heart. The big things in life, like financial security or trust in others, feel out of control, and suffering has become a constant companion. But even in this darkness, there’s a flicker of light waiting for you: the joy in ordinary, small things. Finding that joy isn’t easy when you’re hurting, but it’s there if you look. The ancient Greek philosopher Epicurus offers wisdom to guide you, teaching that happiness lies in the simple pleasures we often overlook. Let’s explore how you, as a traumatized scam victim, can rediscover joy and reclaim a piece of your life.
Epicurus and the Pursuit of Simple Pleasures
Epicurus, who lived from 341 to 270 BCE, founded a school of thought centered on achieving happiness through modest means. He believed that true joy doesn’t come from wealth, power, or grand achievements but from the quiet, everyday moments that bring peace. “Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for,” he advised. For you, this means shifting focus from what the scam stole—money, trust, or dreams—and toward what remains: a warm cup of coffee, a sunny afternoon, or a kind word from a friend.
Epicurus taught that pleasure is the highest good, but not in the indulgent sense we might imagine. He emphasized natural, necessary pleasures—like food, shelter, and companionship—over fleeting luxuries. “The wealth required by nature is limited and is easy to procure; but the wealth required by vain ideals extends to infinity,” he said. After a scam, your world might feel shattered, with big goals like financial recovery seeming unreachable. Epicurus would urge you to find contentment in what’s already within reach, those small, ordinary things that can still spark joy.
He also recognized the role of pain in life, much like the emotional wounds you’re carrying. But he believed you can mitigate suffering by cultivating gratitude for simple pleasures. “We must, therefore, pursue the things that make for happiness, seeing that when happiness is present, we have everything; but when it is absent, we do everything to possess it,” Epicurus wrote. For you, this pursuit isn’t about ignoring your pain but balancing it with moments of lightness—a laugh, a song, a walk—that remind you life still holds beauty.
Why Joy in the Ordinary Matters for Scam Victims
When you’ve been scammed, the big things in life—your savings, your sense of safety, your trust in others—can feel like they’re spiraling out of control. A romance scam might leave you heartbroken, a financial fraud might drain your accounts, and the shame can isolate you from loved ones. In this chaos, chasing grand happiness feels impossible. That’s where the ordinary comes in. Finding joy in small things isn’t a cure, but it’s a lifeline. It’s a way to reclaim agency, to remind yourself that not everything is lost.
Epicurus would argue that these small joys are not trivial—they’re essential. A scam might have taken your money, but it can’t take the warmth of a sunny day or the comfort of your favorite book. By focusing on these moments, you start to rebuild your emotional strength. Research backs this up: a 2019 study in the Journal of Positive Psychology found that practicing gratitude for small daily experiences—like a good meal or a kind gesture—reduced stress and improved well-being in trauma survivors by 25% over six weeks. For you, this means that joy in the ordinary can be a stepping stone to healing, a way to find light even when the big picture feels dark.
Actionable Steps to Experience Joy Amidst Pain
You’re ready to find joy, but where do you start? Here are some practical steps to help you experience those small, ordinary pleasures, even as you navigate the pain of being scammed.
First, start your day with a gratitude ritual. Each morning, write down three small things you’re thankful for—a soft blanket, the smell of rain, a favorite song. This practice, inspired by Epicurus’ focus on appreciating what you have, trains your mind to notice the good around you. It doesn’t erase the pain, but it creates a counterbalance.
Next, engage your senses daily. Take five minutes to savor something simple: sip your tea slowly, noticing its warmth and flavor; step outside and feel the breeze on your skin; or listen to a bird chirping. Epicurus believed sensory pleasures are the foundation of happiness, and these moments can ground you when your thoughts spiral.
Then, create a joy jar. Find a small jar and some paper scraps. Each day, write down one ordinary thing that brought you a smile—a funny text, a blooming flower, a cozy nap—and drop it in. At the end of the week, read them. This builds a habit of seeking joy, reminding you that even in tough times, there’s something to hold onto.
Finally, connect with a friend or loved one for a low-key chat. Share a laugh over a shared memory or a silly story. Epicurus valued friendship as a key to happiness, and a brief, genuine connection can lift your spirits without overwhelming you.
The Power of Small Joys in Healing
Epicurus’ wisdom offers a beacon for you as a scam victim: joy doesn’t have to be grand to be meaningful. “It is not so much our friends’ help that helps us, as the confidence of their help,” he said, pointing to the comfort of knowing support exists, even if it’s not always tangible. For you, this means that healing doesn’t require monumental victories like recovering every penny lost to a scammer or instantly rebuilding your trust in others. Instead, it’s about the small, ordinary moments that quietly stitch your spirit back together—a warm meal shared with a loved one, a quiet evening spent listening to your favorite music, or a kind word from a neighbor who doesn’t even know your story. These moments become anchors when the big things in life—like financial stability or emotional security—feel out of control.
These small joys are more than distractions; they’re acts of defiance against the despair a scam can bring. When a romance scammer shatters your heart or a financial fraud leaves you broke, it’s easy to feel like joy is a luxury you can’t afford. But Epicurus would disagree. “The greatest wealth is to live content with little, for there is never want where the mind is satisfied,” he taught, urging you to find contentment in what’s already around you. That might mean savoring the softness of your favorite sweater on a chilly morning, noticing the way sunlight filters through your window, or laughing at a silly joke you overhear. These experiences remind you that you’re still here, still capable of feeling lightness, even if it’s fleeting.
What makes these small joys so powerful is their accessibility. You don’t need money, time, or energy to find them—they’re woven into the fabric of your daily life, waiting for you to notice. A 2020 study in the journal Emotion found that people who regularly appreciated small positive events—like a good conversation or a beautiful sunset—reported a 15% increase in overall life satisfaction, even during stressful periods. For you, this could translate to a moment of peace while watering your plants or the comfort of a pet curling up beside you. These aren’t grand gestures, but they’re enough to lift your spirits, even for a little while.
Epicurus also believed that joy in the ordinary helps you manage pain, not by erasing it but by balancing it. “The magnitude of pleasure reaches its limit in the removal of all pain,” he wrote, suggesting that by cultivating these small pleasures, you create a buffer against your suffering. After a scam, you might feel overwhelmed by shame, anger, or fear, but a simple pleasure—like the smell of fresh coffee or the sound of rain—can offer a brief respite, a reminder that not everything in your world is broken. Over time, these moments add up, helping you rebuild your emotional resilience.
For you, embracing small joys is also a way to reclaim agency. A scam strips away your sense of control, leaving you feeling powerless. But choosing to find joy in the ordinary—whether it’s enjoying a piece of chocolate or watching a favorite old movie—puts you back in the driver’s seat. It’s a quiet rebellion, a way to say that the scammer didn’t take everything. Epicurus would encourage you to lean into these moments, because they’re not just fleeting—they’re the building blocks of a life where joy, even in small doses, becomes a steady companion on your healing journey.
A New Perspective on Joy
You’ve been through a lot as a scam victim, and the road to recovery can feel daunting. But Epicurus’ philosophy shows you a way forward: finding joy in the ordinary, small things that surround you every day. His teachings remind you that happiness isn’t about chasing what you’ve lost but appreciating what you still have—a sunrise, a good laugh, a moment of peace. By focusing on these simple pleasures, you’re not ignoring your pain; you’re building resilience to face it. The actionable steps—starting your day with gratitude, engaging your senses, keeping a joy jar, and connecting with a friend—give you a practical path to experience these moments, even amidst suffering. Research supports this approach, showing that gratitude for small joys can reduce stress and improve well-being, offering you a lifeline as you heal. Epicurus would encourage you to keep looking for these flickers of light, because they’re there, waiting to remind you that life, even after a scam, still holds beauty worth finding. This journey isn’t about erasing the past but about weaving new threads of joy into your present, one small step at a time.
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Important Information for New Scam Victims
- Please visit www.ScamVictimsSupport.org – a SCARS Website for New Scam Victims & Sextortion Victims
- SCARS Institute now offers a free recovery program at www.SCARSeducation.org
- Please visit www.ScamPsychology.org – to more fully understand the psychological concepts involved in scams and scam victim recovery
If you are looking for local trauma counselors please visit counseling.AgainstScams.org or join SCARS for our counseling/therapy benefit: membership.AgainstScams.org
If you need to speak with someone now, you can dial 988 or find phone numbers for crisis hotlines all around the world here: www.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines
A Question of Trust
At the SCARS Institute, we invite you to do your own research on the topics we speak about and publish, Our team investigates the subject being discussed, especially when it comes to understanding the scam victims-survivors experience. You can do Google searches but in many cases, you will have to wade through scientific papers and studies. However, remember that biases and perspectives matter and influence the outcome. Regardless, we encourage you to explore these topics as thoroughly as you can for your own awareness.
Statement About Victim Blaming
Some of our articles discuss various aspects of victims. This is both about better understanding victims (the science of victimology) and their behaviors and psychology. This helps us to educate victims/survivors about why these crimes happened and to not blame themselves, better develop recovery programs, and to help victims avoid scams in the future. At times this may sound like blaming the victim, but it does not blame scam victims, we are simply explaining the hows and whys of the experience victims have.
These articles, about the Psychology of Scams or Victim Psychology – meaning that all humans have psychological or cognitive characteristics in common that can either be exploited or work against us – help us all to understand the unique challenges victims face before, during, and after scams, fraud, or cybercrimes. These sometimes talk about some of the vulnerabilities the scammers exploit. Victims rarely have control of them or are even aware of them, until something like a scam happens and then they can learn how their mind works and how to overcome these mechanisms.
Articles like these help victims and others understand these processes and how to help prevent them from being exploited again or to help them recover more easily by understanding their post-scam behaviors. Learn more about the Psychology of Scams at www.ScamPsychology.org
SCARS Resources:
- Getting Started: ScamVictimsSupport.org
- FREE enrollment in the SCARS Institute training programs for scam victims SCARSeducation.org
- For New Victims of Relationship Scams newvictim.AgainstScams.org
- Subscribe to SCARS Newsletter newsletter.againstscams.org
- Sign up for SCARS professional support & recovery groups, visit support.AgainstScams.org
- Find competent trauma counselors or therapists, visit counseling.AgainstScams.org
- Become a SCARS Member and get free counseling benefits, visit membership.AgainstScams.org
- Report each and every crime, learn how to at reporting.AgainstScams.org
- Learn more about Scams & Scammers at RomanceScamsNOW.com and ScamsNOW.com
- Learn more about the Psychology of Scams and Scam Victims: ScamPsychology.org
- Self-Help Books for Scam Victims are at shop.AgainstScams.org
- Worldwide Crisis Hotlines: International Suicide Hotlines – OpenCounseling : OpenCounseling
- Campaign To End Scam Victim Blaming – 2024 (scamsnow.com)
Psychology Disclaimer:
All articles about psychology and the human brain on this website are for information & education only
The information provided in this and other SCARS articles are intended for educational and self-help purposes only and should not be construed as a substitute for professional therapy or counseling.
Note about Mindfulness: Mindfulness practices have the potential to create psychological distress for some individuals. Please consult a mental health professional or experienced meditation instructor for guidance should you encounter difficulties.
While any self-help techniques outlined herein may be beneficial for scam victims seeking to recover from their experience and move towards recovery, it is important to consult with a qualified mental health professional before initiating any course of action. Each individual’s experience and needs are unique, and what works for one person may not be suitable for another.
Additionally, any approach may not be appropriate for individuals with certain pre-existing mental health conditions or trauma histories. It is advisable to seek guidance from a licensed therapist or counselor who can provide personalized support, guidance, and treatment tailored to your specific needs.
If you are experiencing significant distress or emotional difficulties related to a scam or other traumatic event, please consult your doctor or mental health provider for appropriate care and support.
Also read our SCARS Institute Statement about Professional Care for Scam Victims – click here
If you are in crisis, feeling desperate, or in despair please call 988 or your local crisis hotline.
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excelente articulo!.. la importancia de ver lo bueno que tenemos y disfrutar las pequeñas cosas, no es solo disfrutar cosas grandes y llamativas sino mas bien los pequeños detalles esas alegrias diarias que en conjunto crean un todo y que a final de cuentas son alegrias geniunas que nos dan una paz y conformidad de lo que podemos y tenemos en nuestras manos para poder cambiar