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The Unfairness of Being a Scam Victim

Rebuilding from Ruin: Overcoming the Unfairness of Life as a Scam Victim – a Lesson from Jordan B. Peterson

Primary Category: Scam Victim Recovery Psychology

Intended Audience: Scam Victims-Survivors / Family & Friends / General Public / Others

Authors:
•  Vianey Gonzalez B.Sc(Psych) – Licensed Psychologist Specialty in Crime Victim Trauma Therapy, Neuropsychologist, Certified Deception Professional, Psychology Advisory Panel & Director of the Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Inc.
•  Tim McGuinness, Ph.D. – Anthropologist, Scientist, Director of the Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Inc.

About This Article

Jordan B. Peterson’s philosophy emphasizes that life is inherently unfair, a reality starkly felt by scam victims who face financial, emotional, and psychological devastation. Drawing from works such as 12 Rules for Life and Maps of Meaning, Peterson outlines how suffering, though inevitable, can be transformed into an opportunity for growth.

Table of contents

Scam victims, while grappling with betrayal and loss, are encouraged to confront their pain honestly, seek support, and rebuild their lives through purposeful action. By embracing responsibility, redefining their narratives, and fostering resilience, victims can transcend their circumstances and create lives richer in meaning and integrity. Peterson’s insights highlight that even in the depths of despair, transformation and hope remain possible.

Rebuilding from Ruin: Overcoming the Unfairness of Life as a Scam Victim - a Lesson from Jordan B. Peterson

Rebuilding from Ruin: Overcoming the Unfairness of Life as a Scam Victim – a Lesson from Jordan B. Peterson

The following is based on the works of leading Canadian clinical psychologist Jordan B. Peterson

Unfairness for Scam Victims – Overview

  • Life is inherently unfair, as emphasized in the work of Jordan B. Peterson.
  • Being a scam victim embodies the depths of this unfairness, leading to profound financial, emotional, and psychological devastation.
  • Despite the suffering, the experience offers an opportunity for self-reconstruction, integrity restoration, and the creation of a resilient and meaningful life.
  • Peterson’s principles on suffering, responsibility, and meaning provide a framework for navigating this transformation.

The Unfairness of Life and the Nature of Suffering

Jordan B. Peterson’s philosophy frequently centers on the undeniable truth that life is inherently unfair. “Life is suffering,” Peterson asserts in 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos. This suffering, he explains, is unavoidable and universal, arising from the unpredictable chaos of existence. For scam victims, this chaos takes a particularly cruel form. Losing trust, financial security, and often one’s sense of identity, scam victims face the kind of profound betrayal and disorientation that exemplify life’s inherent unfairness.

The Hell of Being a Scam Victim

Jordan B. Peterson’s philosophy frequently centers on the undeniable truth that life is inherently unfair. “Life is suffering,” Peterson asserts in 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos. This suffering, he explains, is unavoidable and universal, arising from the unpredictable chaos of existence. For scam victims, this chaos takes a particularly cruel form. Losing trust, financial security, and often one’s sense of identity, scam victims face the kind of profound betrayal and disorientation that exemplify life’s inherent unfairness.

Peterson’s work emphasizes that the suffering caused by such experiences cannot be mitigated through denial or resentment. “To suffer terribly and to know yourself as the cause: that is Hell,” he writes. While scam victims may not always bear responsibility for their victimization, they must confront the reality of their losses and the vulnerability that enabled the exploitation. Avoiding this confrontation, Peterson suggests, only deepens the despair.

Furthermore, Peterson highlights that confronting suffering requires courage, honesty, and acceptance. Scam victims must resist the impulse to avoid or ignore their pain, as doing so prevents meaningful growth. Instead, he advocates for actively seeking understanding and confronting the chaos head-on, even when it feels overwhelming. “It is not the suffering per se that drives you to madness, but the suffering you can’t make sense of,” Peterson notes. Through making sense of their experience, victims can begin to rebuild their mental and emotional framework.

Peterson’s teachings also point to the significance of acknowledging the broader nature of suffering in life. While the unfairness of being scammed is unique and deeply personal, it reflects a universal truth that no one is exempt from hardship. By recognizing this shared human condition, victims can connect their personal pain to a greater understanding of resilience and growth, finding a pathway out of despair and toward renewal.

The Opportunity for Transformation

Becoming a scam victim is often described as a descent into a personal hell. The financial losses are tangible and severe, but the emotional toll can be even more profound. Victims frequently report feelings of shame, humiliation, and betrayal, as well as a pervasive loss of trust in others. This experience isolates victims, who may be reluctant to seek help due to fear of judgment or disbelief.

In Maps of Meaning: The Architecture of Belief, Peterson discusses how betrayal and chaos disrupt the structure of life. “When the bottom drops out of your world, it is your assumptions about life that have failed,” he explains. For scam victims, the betrayal by those who appeared trustworthy undermines their basic assumptions about safety and relationships. This destruction of their psychological foundation compounds the unfairness of their suffering.

The emotional trauma of being scammed is compounded by a sense of guilt or self-blame. Victims often internalize their experience, questioning their intelligence or judgment, even when the deception was expertly crafted. Peterson’s teachings highlight that this self-blame can become a trap. He advises that while introspection is essential, it should not devolve into self-punishment. “You must tell the truth, or at least, you must not lie,” Peterson writes, encouraging victims to honestly assess their circumstances without allowing false narratives to dominate their recovery.

Moreover, the social stigma associated with scams can exacerbate feelings of isolation. Victims might feel ashamed to disclose their experience, fearing judgment from friends or family. This silence creates a cycle where victims struggle alone, often prolonging their pain. Peterson emphasizes the importance of seeking connection and support, noting that “to share your suffering is to reduce it.” Reaching out to trusted individuals or support networks can help victims begin to rebuild their sense of trust and belonging.

Ultimately, the hell of being a scam victim is not just about the loss incurred but the disruption of one’s worldview. It is a profound upheaval that requires time, courage, and intentional effort to overcome. Yet, as Peterson’s work suggests, even the most catastrophic experiences hold the potential for transformation when approached with honesty and resolve.

Restoring Integrity and Resilience

Peterson frequently emphasizes the importance of integrity in navigating life’s challenges. Scam victims often struggle with a damaged sense of self-worth, questioning their judgment and value. Rebuilding integrity starts with small, deliberate actions—taking responsibility for financial recovery, seeking emotional support, and developing safeguards to prevent future victimization. “You are not only what you do, but what you choose not to do,” Peterson advises. Choosing resilience over despair becomes an act of reclaiming one’s identity.

Steps to Restore Integrity and Resilience

    1. Acknowledge the Reality: The first step in restoring integrity is accepting what has happened without self-deception. Peterson emphasizes honesty as the foundation of integrity: “You must tell the truth, or at least, you must not lie.” Scam victims must confront the truth of their experience to begin healing.
    2. Seek Support: Isolation amplifies the emotional toll of being scammed. Reaching out to trusted individuals or professional counselors can provide the guidance and encouragement needed to rebuild. Sharing one’s suffering, as Peterson notes, helps reduce its weight.
    3. Set Practical Goals: Begin with small, achievable steps to regain stability, such as creating a financial recovery plan or learning about fraud prevention. Peterson’s philosophy underscores the value of daily progress: “If you fulfill your obligations every day, you don’t need to worry about the future.”
    4. Redefine Your Narrative: Shift from being a victim to becoming a survivor. Use the experience to advocate for awareness, educate others, or volunteer in support organizations. Turning pain into purpose fosters a sense of agency and restores self-worth.
    5. Build Resilience Through Responsibility: Embrace responsibilities that align with personal growth and meaningful goals. Resilience is strengthened by facing challenges head-on and transforming them into opportunities for self-improvement.

Resilience, according to Peterson, is cultivated by embracing responsibility and working toward a meaningful goal. For scam victims, this might involve advocating for others, educating the public about scams, or volunteering in support organizations. These actions not only restore a sense of agency but also create a narrative in which the victim’s suffering contributes to a greater good. “If you fulfill your obligations every day, you don’t need to worry about the future,” Peterson states, underscoring the power of consistent, purposeful effort in overcoming adversity.

The Alternative: Resentment and Stagnation

Peterson’s philosophy also warns against the dangers of resentment and victimhood. “Resentment is the worst of poisons,” he writes. Scam victims who remain mired in anger and self-pity risk perpetuating their suffering and missing the opportunity for growth. While acknowledging the unfairness of their experience, they must resist the temptation to retreat into bitterness. Bitterness, Peterson explains, not only entrenches suffering but also prevents individuals from taking proactive steps toward recovery and growth. It isolates victims further, creating a cycle of negativity that can be difficult to escape.

Stagnation is another potential outcome for those who do not confront their suffering. Failing to rebuild after a scam can lead to chronic anxiety, distrust, and a diminished quality of life. Victims who choose inaction or avoidance may find their lives defined by the scam, unable to move past the pain and trauma. Peterson’s teachings remind us that inaction in the face of chaos only deepens its grip. “The thing that sustains you in life is not happiness,” he argues, “but having a meaning to contend with.” By avoiding this challenge, individuals risk losing the opportunity to grow stronger and more resilient.

Peterson’s philosophy also warns against the dangers of resentment and victimhood. “Resentment is the worst of poisons,” he writes. Scam victims who remain mired in anger and self-pity risk perpetuating their suffering and missing the opportunity for growth. While acknowledging the unfairness of their experience, they must resist the temptation to retreat into bitterness.

Creating a Life Beyond Imagination

The final phase of recovery, according to Peterson’s framework, involves envisioning a future that surpasses the life lost to the scam. “You can be more than you are,” Peterson asserts. By integrating the lessons learned from their suffering, scam victims can cultivate resilience and wisdom that empower them to create a better life. This new life may include stronger relationships, heightened awareness, and a renewed sense of purpose.

Steps to Create a Life Beyond Imagination

    1. Reflect on the Lessons Learned: Begin by examining what the experience of being scammed has taught you about trust, relationships, and vulnerability. Peterson emphasizes that understanding the meaning behind suffering is key to growth: “It is the ability to learn from the chaos that turns suffering into strength.”
    2. Set a Vision for the Future: Create a clear and compelling vision of the life you want to build. This includes defining your personal and professional goals and imagining the values that will guide you. As Peterson notes, “The future is a mystery, but the path to it is responsibility.”
    3. Develop Resilient Habits: Cultivate daily practices that strengthen your emotional, physical, and financial resilience. This might include journaling, mindfulness exercises, or consistent financial planning to restore stability.
    4. Reconnect and Build Trust: Rebuild relationships that support your growth and establish new connections rooted in honesty and mutual respect. Peterson highlights the importance of surrounding yourself with those who support your transformation, noting, “Choose people who want the best for you.”
    5. Embrace New Opportunities: View the experience as a gateway to new possibilities, whether through advocacy, creative projects, or personal development. Channel your insights into endeavors that enrich both your life and the lives of others, aligning with Peterson’s principle: “Meaning is found in the pursuit of what improves you and the world.”

Peterson’s insights emphasize that the process of rebuilding is not easy, but it is transformative. “We are not who we could be,” he writes. “We are not all that we should be.” Scam victims, through their courage and effort, can move closer to their full potential, transcending the unfairness of their circumstances and creating lives rich with meaning and integrity.

Conclusion

While being a scam victim exemplifies the profound unfairness of life, it also offers a unique opportunity for transformation. Guided by Jordan B. Peterson’s principles of responsibility, integrity, and meaning, victims can rebuild their lives and emerge stronger, wiser, and more resilient. The alternative—resentment and stagnation—only prolongs suffering. By confronting their pain and embracing the challenge of rebuilding, scam victims can transcend their loss and create lives of purpose and fulfillment, proving that even in the face of profound unfairness, there is hope and possibility.

References

  • Peterson, Jordan B. 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos. Random House Canada, 2018. This book provides insights into the nature of suffering, responsibility, and personal growth, which underpin the philosophical framework discussed in the article.
  • Peterson, Jordan B. Maps of Meaning: The Architecture of Belief. Routledge, 1999. This text explores how betrayal and chaos disrupt life’s foundational assumptions, offering context to the psychological impact of scams.
  • Peterson, Jordan B. Lectures and interviews available on YouTube and podcast platforms. These lectures provide additional context on responsibility, resilience, and transforming suffering into personal growth.
  • Peterson, Jordan B. Official Website (https://www.jordanbpeterson.com) Articles and blog posts that align with his principles on addressing chaos and finding meaning in adversity.

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A Question of Trust

At the SCARS Institute, we invite you to do your own research on the topics we speak about and publish, Our team investigates the subject being discussed, especially when it comes to understanding the scam victims-survivors experience. You can do Google searches but in many cases, you will have to wade through scientific papers and studies. However, remember that biases and perspectives matter and influence the outcome. Regardless, we encourage you to explore these topics as thoroughly as you can for your own awareness.

Statement About Victim Blaming

Some of our articles discuss various aspects of victims. This is both about better understanding victims (the science of victimology) and their behaviors and psychology. This helps us to educate victims/survivors about why these crimes happened and to not blame themselves, better develop recovery programs, and to help victims avoid scams in the future. At times this may sound like blaming the victim, but it does not blame scam victims, we are simply explaining the hows and whys of the experience victims have.

These articles, about the Psychology of Scams or Victim Psychology – meaning that all humans have psychological or cognitive characteristics in common that can either be exploited or work against us – help us all to understand the unique challenges victims face before, during, and after scams, fraud, or cybercrimes. These sometimes talk about some of the vulnerabilities the scammers exploit. Victims rarely have control of them or are even aware of them, until something like a scam happens and then they can learn how their mind works and how to overcome these mechanisms.

Articles like these help victims and others understand these processes and how to help prevent them from being exploited again or to help them recover more easily by understanding their post-scam behaviors. Learn more about the Psychology of Scams at www.ScamPsychology.org

SCARS Resources:

Psychology Disclaimer:

All articles about psychology and the human brain on this website are for information & education only

The information provided in this and other SCARS articles are intended for educational and self-help purposes only and should not be construed as a substitute for professional therapy or counseling.

Note about Mindfulness: Mindfulness practices have the potential to create psychological distress for some individuals. Please consult a mental health professional or experienced meditation instructor for guidance should you encounter difficulties.

While any self-help techniques outlined herein may be beneficial for scam victims seeking to recover from their experience and move towards recovery, it is important to consult with a qualified mental health professional before initiating any course of action. Each individual’s experience and needs are unique, and what works for one person may not be suitable for another.

Additionally, any approach may not be appropriate for individuals with certain pre-existing mental health conditions or trauma histories. It is advisable to seek guidance from a licensed therapist or counselor who can provide personalized support, guidance, and treatment tailored to your specific needs.

If you are experiencing significant distress or emotional difficulties related to a scam or other traumatic event, please consult your doctor or mental health provider for appropriate care and support.

Also read our SCARS Institute Statement about Professional Care for Scam Victims – click here

If you are in crisis, feeling desperate, or in despair please call 988 or your local crisis hotline.

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The following specific modalities within the practice of psychology are restricted to psychologists appropriately trained in the use of such modalities:

  • Diagnosis: The diagnosis of mental, emotional, or brain disorders and related behaviors.
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