When the Next Crisis Comes // Cuando Llegue la Próxima Crisis

by Vianey Gonzalez

Primary Category: Scam Victim Recovery – Editorial & Commentary

Intended Audience: Scam Victims-Survivors / Family & Friends

Author:
•  Vianey Gonzalez B.Sc(Psych) – Licensed Psychologist, Specialty in Crime Victim Trauma Therapy, Neuropsychologist, Certified Deception Professional, Psychology Advisory Panel & Director of the Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Inc.

About This Article in English

Experiencing a scam leaves lasting emotional scars, often resurfacing when new traumatic situations arise. Recovery is a long journey without a set timeline, influenced by personal resilience, environment, and available support. Despite significant progress, lingering effects remain, and certain events can trigger past memories as if they were happening again. A recent personal experience of aggression brought back intense feelings of vulnerability, fear, and anxiety, similar to those felt during the initial scam trauma. While self-awareness and coping strategies help in managing these emotions, it is crucial to recognize that healing is an ongoing process. Suppressing emotions can lead to unresolved wounds resurfacing, making it essential to acknowledge, process, and actively work through them. True recovery is achieved by recognizing, accepting, managing, and confronting emotions rather than ignoring them.

Resumen en Español:

Ser víctima de una estafa deja cicatrices emocionales profundas, que pueden resurgir ante nuevas experiencias traumáticas. La recuperación es un proceso largo y sin un tiempo definido, dependiendo de la capacidad personal, el entorno y el apoyo disponible. A pesar del progreso alcanzado, las secuelas pueden permanecer, y ciertos eventos pueden reactivar recuerdos como si fueran recientes. Un incidente de agresión reciente reavivó sentimientos intensos de vulnerabilidad, miedo y ansiedad, similares a los experimentados durante el trauma inicial de la estafa. Aunque la autoconciencia y las estrategias de afrontamiento ayudan a manejar estas emociones, es fundamental reconocer que la sanación es un proceso continuo. Suprimir los sentimientos puede hacer que las heridas no resueltas reaparezcan, por lo que es esencial reconocer, procesar y trabajar activamente en ellas. La verdadera recuperación se logra aceptando, gestionando y enfrentando las emociones en lugar de ignorarlas.

The Lasting Impact of a Scam

A Commentary by Vianey Gonzalez

En Español Más Abajo

Experiencing a scam is very difficult. The abuse, aggression, and everything that being a victim of fraud entails can leave deep and lasting emotional scars. When a person has suffered this type of trauma and faces a new aggression, whether similar or different, they often experience a series of intense and complex emotional reactions. These reactions can vary depending on the person and the severity of the initial trauma. Recovery is a long journey, and there is no set timeline—it depends on the individual, their environment, and the resources they have to navigate this difficult situation.

Progress and Lingering Consequences

It has been eight years since the scam happened. I have worked hard on my recovery. Every day, I feel that I have made progress, and I can confidently say that I feel good and focused on my present. However, something I have learned is that the consequences are still there, and small fissures remain that require continued attention. We learn to live with what happened, but certain situations can resurface memories as if they were happening in the present.

A Triggering Experience

Today, I had an incident where someone attacked me, and for a moment, I felt that same sense of vulnerability, even though I knew I had done the right thing. Feeling attacked brought back all those memories—memories of how I felt eight years ago when I was living through the shock of the scam. This incident triggered feelings of fear and anxiety, momentarily destabilizing me. It took me a few hours to recover and relax because this new aggression felt like a flashback, a re-experiencing of that nightmare, filled with intrusive thoughts and a renewed sense of insecurity.

Coping and Self-Awareness

Once I removed myself from the situation, I reminded myself that over these eight years, I have learned the importance of staying calm and making the best possible decision. In that moment, the best decision for me was to walk away. However, it is clear that the experience affected me. While I may feel like it is one of the last lingering consequences of the scam, I also know from experience that we sometimes deceive ourselves. Defense mechanisms can lead us to suppress or ignore what we truly feel, but those wounds will resurface sooner or later.

The Importance of Acknowledging and Managing Emotions

It is important to recognize that these reactions are normal and understandable. After experiencing trauma, it is essential to develop strategies that help process and face these emotions. The best way to achieve true recovery is by recognizing, accepting, managing, and confronting what we feel, rather than pushing it aside. Healing is an ongoing process, and each new challenge presents an opportunity to reinforce the progress already made.

El Impacto Duradero de una Estafa

Un comentario de Vianey González

Experimentar una estafa es algo muy difícil. Ser víctima de abuso, agresión y todo lo que implica el fraude puede dejar cicatrices emocionales profundas y duraderas. Cuando una persona ha sufrido este tipo de traumas y se enfrenta a una nueva agresión, ya sea similar o diferente, puede experimentar una serie de reacciones emocionales intensas y complejas. Estas reacciones pueden variar dependiendo de la persona y de la gravedad del trauma inicial. Siempre he dicho que el proceso de recuperación es un camino largo y que no hay un tiempo determinado para sanar. Todo depende de la persona, su entorno y los recursos que tenga para enfrentar esta situación difícil.

Avances en la Recuperación y Secuelas Persistentes

Han pasado ocho años desde la estafa. Trabajé mucho en mi recuperación y cada día siento que he avanzado. Actualmente puedo decir que me siento bien y muy enfocada en mi presente. Sin embargo, algo que he aprendido es que las secuelas siguen ahí y que hay pequeñas fisuras que debemos seguir trabajando. A pesar de que el tiempo ha pasado, ciertos eventos pueden hacernos revivir esas memorias como si fueran actuales.

Un Incidente que Desencadenó Recuerdos del Pasado

Hoy tuve un incidente con una persona que me agredió, y por un momento volví a sentir esa sensación de vulnerabilidad, a pesar de que sabía que había hecho lo correcto. Sentirme agredida desencadenó recuerdos de cómo me sentí hace ocho años, cuando vivía el shock de la estafa. Este episodio trajo consigo sentimientos de miedo y ansiedad, y de algún modo me hizo perder un poco la estabilidad. Recuperarme y relajarme me tomó varias horas, porque esta nueva agresión fue como un flashback, una reexperimentación de aquella pesadilla acompañada de pensamientos intrusivos y una renovada sensación de inseguridad.

Estrategias para Afrontar las Secuelas

Una vez que me alejé de la situación, recordé que después de ocho años he aprendido que debo mantener la calma y tratar de tomar la mejor decisión. En ese momento, la mejor decisión fue alejarme. Sin embargo, es evidente que esta experiencia me afectó y que es necesario seguir trabajando en ello. Tal vez pueda sentir que esto es lo último que queda de todas las secuelas que me dejó la estafa, pero por experiencia sé que a veces nos autoengañamos.

Los mecanismos de defensa pueden llevarnos a suprimir o ignorar lo que realmente sentimos, pero esto solo hace que esas heridas resurjan tarde o temprano. Es importante destacar que estas reacciones son normales, las reconozco y son comprensibles. Después de haber experimentado un trauma, definitivamente debo desarrollar estrategias que me ayuden a procesar todas estas emociones y enfrentarlas. La mejor manera de lograr una verdadera recuperación es reconociendo, aceptando, gestionando y enfrentando lo que sentimos.

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A Note to Our Readers: Understanding Without Blame

At the SCARS Institute, our work is dedicated to you, the survivor. We explore the complex journey of scam victimization to help you make sense of what happened. Our purpose is to transform confusion into clarity, shame into self-compassion, and fear into strength. We do this by examining the science behind these crimes and the very human responses they trigger.

We know that reading about the psychology of a scam, victimization, and recovery can sometimes feel overwhelming or even uncomfortable. Please know, this is never about blame. It is about understanding. Scam victims are never, ever at fault. Criminals are the sole architects of these deceptions. Our goal is to illuminate the expertly crafted tactics used against you and explain the natural, biological processes that made the scam feel so real, the processes of the mind and body, and how you can recover. We want you to see that your reactions were not weaknesses, but signs of your humanity.

By sharing this knowledge, we hope to help you piece together your story and journey ahead with kindness and self-compassion. We want to replace the echo of shame with the profound realizations of knowledge. This understanding is a powerful step toward healing and rebuilding a future where you feel safe and secure.

For further support and educational resources, please visit ScamVictimsSupport.org, ScamPsychology.org, RomanceScamsNOW.com, and other SCARS Institute websites. o join our free, safe, and confidential survivors’ community, visit SCARScommunity.org. You are not alone on this path.