Eremitism – Living in Solitude while Healing for Scam Victims

An Approach to Helping Scam Victims Heal and Recover in Solitude and Peace Away from Others

Primary Category: Scam Victim Recovery Psychology

Intended Audience: Scam Victims-Survivors / Family & Friends / General Public / Others

Author:
•  Tim McGuinness, Ph.D. – Anthropologist, Scientist, Director of the Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Inc.

About This Article

Eremitism, or intentional solitude, can serve as a valuable tool for scam victims seeking to heal from the emotional aftermath of deception and betrayal. By stepping away from external pressures, victims can create a space for self-reflection, emotional processing, and personal renewal. This structured solitude allows them to regain clarity, rebuild self-trust, and redefine their identity beyond their experience.

Whether practiced in nature or at home, eremitism provides an opportunity to engage in mindful introspection, journaling, and self-care. However, it is essential that victims balance solitude with necessary support systems such as therapy, counseling, or recovery programs to prevent harmful isolation. By approaching eremitism with intention and maintaining access to professional guidance, scam victims can use this time to emerge stronger, more resilient, and ready to move forward with renewed confidence and self-awareness.

Eremitism – An Approach to Helping Scam Victims Heal and Recover in Solitude and Peace Away from Others

What is Eremitism?

Eremitism is the practice of living in deliberate solitude, often for spiritual, philosophical, or personal reasons. The term comes from the Greek eremos, meaning “desert” or “solitary,” and is associated with individuals known as hermits, who withdraw from society to live in isolation.

Historically, eremitism has been most closely linked with religious traditions. Many hermits in Christianity, Buddhism, and other faiths have sought solitude to deepen their spiritual connection, free themselves from worldly distractions, or engage in intense meditation and contemplation. Christian Desert Fathers and Mothers, Buddhist forest monks, and Hindu sadhus are examples of individuals who have embraced eremitism as part of their religious devotion.

Beyond religious contexts, some people choose eremitism for philosophical or psychological reasons. They may reject social norms, seek freedom from societal obligations, or find solitude more fulfilling than communal life. Some eremites live completely alone in remote areas, while others maintain minimal interaction with society, engaging only in necessary exchanges for survival.

Eremitism differs from simple loneliness or isolation because it is a chosen lifestyle, not an imposed condition. While some embrace it permanently, others practice temporary solitude for reflection, healing, or creative pursuits. In modern times, eremitism has evolved, with some individuals practicing digital or partial withdrawal rather than complete physical seclusion.

Using Eremitism to Improve Healing and Recovery After a Scam

Scam victims often struggle with overwhelming emotions, including shame, guilt, and a loss of trust in others. The betrayal they experience can lead to social withdrawal, but if approached intentionally, eremitism—deliberate solitude—can be a valuable tool for healing. By using periods of isolation as a means of self-reflection, emotional processing, and rebuilding inner strength, scam victims can turn solitude into an active step toward recovery rather than an escape from the world.

Reframing Solitude as a Healing Process

When scam victims first realize they have been deceived, their instinctive reaction is often to withdraw from social interactions. The shame of being scammed, combined with a deep fear of judgment, makes isolation feel like the safest option. However, instead of viewing this withdrawal as a negative consequence of their experience, victims can reframe it as an intentional step toward healing. Eremitism, when practiced with purpose, does not have to mean complete disconnection from society. Instead, it can serve as a structured period of solitude that allows scam victims to engage in self-care, reflection, and emotional restoration.

Solitude provides an opportunity to regain emotional balance without external pressures or opinions influencing one’s thoughts. Scam victims often struggle with overwhelming emotions—self-blame, anger, sadness, and distrust—many of which are intensified by social expectations and interactions. Deliberate solitude allows them to detach from these external pressures, offering a controlled space to process emotions without the fear of being judged. Without the immediate opinions of others, they can focus on their internal dialogue, exploring their feelings in an honest and uninhibited way.

Structured solitude can be a time of deep self-exploration, helping victims reconnect with their own sense of identity outside of the trauma they experienced. Many scam victims define themselves by what happened to them, believing their mistakes have permanently shaped their self-worth. By stepping away from social influences and distractions, they can begin to see themselves beyond their victimhood. Solitude gives them the space to remember who they were before the scam, understand how they have changed, and redefine who they want to become moving forward.

This process is not about isolating indefinitely but about using solitude as a temporary retreat to regain inner stability. When social interactions feel overwhelming, taking a step back allows scam victims to rebuild their sense of self at their own pace. It provides a necessary pause in which they can reflect on their experiences, clarify their thoughts, and find emotional resilience before re-engaging with the outside world. By reframing solitude as a proactive and healing choice rather than an imposed consequence, scam victims can transform their withdrawal into a powerful tool for self-renewal and recovery.

Emotional Detox and Self-Reflection

After a scam, overwhelming emotions such as anger, grief, shame, and self-blame can consume a victim’s thoughts. The mental and emotional turmoil can make it difficult to process what has happened and take meaningful steps toward healing. Engaging in temporary eremitism—structured solitude—can provide the necessary quiet to observe these emotions without distraction. Without the noise of social obligations, scam victims can take time to explore their feelings, write about their experiences, and gain clarity on how they want to move forward.

To fully benefit from solitude, it is important to approach it with intention. Instead of isolating out of fear or shame, victims can use eremitism as a tool for emotional detox and self-reflection. This means actively engaging in self-exploration rather than simply withdrawing from the world. A structured approach can help transform solitude into a productive and healing experience.

Practicing Eremitism at Home

For those who prefer the comfort of their own space, eremitism can be practiced at home in ways that encourage deep reflection and emotional release.

Create a Dedicated Space for Reflection – Designate a quiet area in your home as a retreat space, free from distractions such as television, social media, or other digital interruptions. This space should feel peaceful and comfortable, whether it’s a specific room, a cozy corner, or a spot by a window.

Journal Your Thoughts and Feelings – Writing down your emotions can help bring clarity to your thoughts. Instead of suppressing pain or replaying negative memories, use a journal to express how you feel, explore your fears, and document moments of insight.

Engage in Mindfulness or Meditation – Spend time in stillness, allowing emotions to surface without judgment. Simple breathing exercises, guided meditations, or body scans can help calm the nervous system and bring awareness to present emotions.

Practice Self-Inquiry – Self-reflection questions can guide you in making sense of the experience and your personal growth. Consider asking:

• • • • What lessons can I take from this experience?
      • How has this changed my perception of trust and relationships?
      • What personal strengths have helped me survive this ordeal?
      • What kind of future do I want to create after this experience?

Limit External Noise – Reducing exposure to social media, negative news, or unnecessary interactions can help declutter the mind. Give yourself permission to disconnect from anything that increases stress or reinforces feelings of guilt or shame.

Allow for Emotional Expression – If emotions become overwhelming, consider ways to release them physically, such as through movement, deep breathing, or even crying. Giving yourself permission to feel without judgment is an important part of emotional detox.

Practicing Eremitism in Nature

Nature offers a powerful setting for solitude and self-reflection, providing a sense of peace and grounding that can be difficult to find in a busy or artificial environment. Scam victims who feel confined or restless at home may benefit from spending time outdoors to clear their minds and reconnect with themselves.

Take Solo Walks in Natural Settings – A quiet walk in a park, forest, or along a shoreline can help reset emotional balance. Moving at your own pace without distractions allows you to reflect, breathe deeply, and gain perspective on your experience.

Find a Place to Sit and Observe – Instead of walking, you can find a quiet place to sit, whether under a tree, by a body of water, or in a peaceful meadow. Observing nature’s rhythms can bring a sense of calm and provide a moment of stillness to process emotions.

Engage in Grounding Techniques – Connecting physically with nature, such as walking barefoot on the grass, touching tree bark, or listening to the sounds of birds and wind, can help regulate emotions and reduce stress.

Use Nature as a Metaphor for Healing – Observing how nature endures change, loss, and renewal can serve as a reminder that healing is a gradual process. Recognizing that seasons change and life continues can reinforce a sense of hope and resilience.

Set an Intention for Your Time Alone – Before going into nature, set a simple intention such as, I will allow myself to let go of blame, or I will focus on what I can control moving forward. This helps guide your thoughts toward healing rather than dwelling on past pain.

Shifting from Dwelling on the Past to Envisioning the Future

By intentionally engaging in solitude, scam victims can move beyond dwelling on what was lost and start envisioning a future where they regain control. This shift does not happen immediately, but with time and reflection, they can begin to see their experience as a chapter rather than the entirety of their story.

Eremitism is not about escaping reality or avoiding healing—it is about creating space to process emotions, rebuild inner strength, and gain perspective without external interference. Whether practiced at home or in nature, solitude can be a powerful ally in recovery, helping victims rediscover their resilience and chart a path forward with renewed clarity.

Rebuilding Self-Trust and Emotional Resilience

One of the most damaging effects of a scam is the loss of self-trust. Victims often blame themselves for being deceived, feeling foolish or incapable of making sound decisions. Eremitism provides a way to rebuild this trust by encouraging victims to make decisions for themselves without external influence. Whether it is as simple as deciding how to spend their time alone or setting new personal goals, each choice reinforces their ability to rely on their own judgment.

Through solitude, scam victims can also strengthen emotional resilience by engaging in activities that promote inner peace, such as meditation, journaling, or creative pursuits. These practices allow them to reconnect with themselves in a safe and controlled way, reducing anxiety and restoring a sense of inner stability.

Avoiding the Pitfalls of Unhealthy Isolation

While eremitism can be beneficial, it must be practiced with awareness. Scam victims should differentiate between intentional solitude and avoidant isolation. If solitude is used as a tool for self-reconnection and healing, it can be productive. However, if it becomes a way to escape reality, avoid responsibilities, or reinforce negative self-perceptions, it can prolong recovery.

To prevent unhealthy isolation, victims can:

• Set a time frame for solitude (e.g., a few days or weeks rather than indefinitely).
• Establish small social interactions, even if limited to online communities or trusted individuals.
• Use solitude for growth-oriented activities rather than dwelling on regret or fear.
• Plan a gradual reentry into social life when they feel emotionally prepared.

Emerging Stronger and More Grounded

By embracing temporary eremitism, scam victims can reclaim control over their healing journey in a way that feels intentional rather than reactive. After experiencing betrayal and financial or emotional harm, many victims feel powerless, as if they have lost control over their own lives. Solitude provides an opportunity to step away from external pressures and expectations, allowing them to process trauma at their own pace. Instead of being forced to engage with the world before they are ready, scam victims can use this time to regain their emotional footing, reflect on their experience, and redefine their sense of self.

The stillness of solitude offers a rare chance to reset the mind and body, moving from a state of distress to one of clarity. When the constant noise of social interactions, financial worries, and self-blame is removed, victims can focus inward and begin rebuilding themselves from the inside out. This quiet period helps them identify the lessons hidden within their experience, making it possible to develop new perspectives. They may begin to recognize patterns in their thinking, understand what led to their vulnerability, and create strategies to prevent similar experiences in the future.

Solitude also fosters the kind of self-discovery that is difficult to achieve in a distracted, fast-paced world. By spending time alone with their thoughts, scam victims can reconnect with their core values, interests, and long-term aspirations. This can be a period of creative exploration, personal development, or deep emotional healing. Some may find solace in journaling, meditation, or engaging in practices that promote self-awareness. Others may use the time to establish boundaries, redefine their relationships, and determine what kind of social interactions feel safe and meaningful moving forward.

Rather than being an escape from the world, eremitism can serve as a sanctuary—a space where scam victims rebuild themselves on their own terms. Instead of feeling forced to “move on” or suppress their pain, they can honor their emotions and allow healing to happen naturally. With time, solitude helps transform pain into wisdom, vulnerability into strength, and loss into an opportunity for growth. When they are ready to return to social life, they do so not as victims weighed down by their past but as individuals who have taken control of their own recovery, emerging with greater confidence, resilience, and emotional clarity.

Questions to Determine if Eremitism is the Right Choice for Your Recovery

Before embracing eremitism as part of your healing process, it is important to assess whether solitude will be beneficial for your current emotional and psychological state. Answering the following questions can help you determine if a structured period of solitude is the right choice for you:

Understanding Your Emotional State

1. 1. Do I feel overwhelmed by social interactions, or do they provide comfort and support right now?
   2. Am I withdrawing from people because I need space to heal, or because I feel ashamed and unworthy of connection?
   3. Do I find myself constantly seeking validation from others to feel better, and would stepping back help me rely more on my own inner strength?
   4. Do I experience intense emotional distress when I am alone, or do I find solitude to be a place of emotional clarity?
   5. Am I avoiding people out of fear of judgment, or do I genuinely feel that time alone would help me process my emotions?

Evaluating the Benefits of Solitude

1. 6. When I spend time alone, do I feel calmer and more in control, or do I feel anxious and isolated?
   7. Do I feel that constant external input—advice, opinions, and discussions—makes it harder for me to hear my own thoughts and emotions?
   8. Am I in need of deep self-reflection and clarity that I cannot seem to access in my usual daily life?
   9. Do I feel exhausted by social obligations and need a break to focus solely on my healing?
   10. Have I always found comfort in solitude, or is this a new experience for me?

Determining the Potential Risks of Isolation

1. 11. Do I tend to ruminate on negative thoughts when I am alone, making solitude a potentially harmful experience?
   12. If I distance myself from others, will I still maintain some form of connection with trusted individuals for emotional support?
   13. Am I at risk of becoming too isolated, avoiding responsibilities or social connections that are important for my long-term well-being?
   14. Will I use my solitude constructively, engaging in self-care, reflection, and growth, or am I seeking isolation to escape difficult emotions?
   15. Do I have a plan for gradually reintegrating into social life once I feel ready, or do I fear I will become stuck in isolation?

Planning for Intentional Eremitism

1. 16. What specific goals do I hope to achieve during my period of solitude?
   17. How can I structure my time alone to ensure that I am engaging in healing activities rather than simply withdrawing?
   18. Do I have access to a peaceful environment—either in nature or at home—where I can feel safe and undisturbed?
   19. Would setting a time limit on my solitude help me avoid slipping into prolonged isolation?
   20. What steps will I take to re-engage with others when I feel ready?

Interpreting Your Answers

• • If you feel that solitude would provide relief, emotional clarity, and a chance to reset your mindset, then eremitism may be a beneficial part of your recovery.
  • If you find that solitude makes you feel more anxious, fuels negative thought patterns, or leads to complete withdrawal from important connections, you may need to balance your solitude with some form of social support.
  • If you are unsure, consider starting with small periods of structured solitude—perhaps a few hours or a day at a time—to see how it affects your emotional well-being.

Eremitism is not about escaping reality or avoiding emotions, but about creating space for healing on your own terms. By answering these questions honestly, you can determine whether intentional solitude is the right path for your recovery and how to approach it in a way that nurtures your well-being.

Maintaining Essential Support While Practicing Eremitism

If you choose to engage in eremitism as part of your recovery, it is essential to ensure that solitude does not lead to complete disconnection from your support system. While temporary withdrawal can provide clarity and healing, cutting off all external support—such as therapy, counseling, or recovery programs—can hinder progress rather than promote it. Solitude should be a tool for reflection, not an escape from necessary healing work.

The Importance of Staying Connected to Support

Healing Requires Guidance – While solitude allows you to process emotions on your own terms, professional guidance from a therapist, counselor, or recovery group ensures that you are working through your trauma in a healthy and structured way.

Avoiding Emotional Isolation – Recovery is not just about introspection; it also involves external validation, support, and reassurance from those who understand what you are going through. Completely cutting off all human connection can lead to deeper emotional distress.

Preventing Negative Thought Loops – When left entirely alone with their thoughts, many scam victims struggle with self-blame, guilt, or rumination. Having access to support can help reframe these thoughts in a healthier way.

Accountability in Recovery – Therapy, counseling, and support groups provide accountability, helping you stay committed to healing rather than falling into avoidance or denial.

How to Balance Eremitism with Support Systems

Set Boundaries, Not Walls – Instead of disappearing from all social connections, let your trusted support network know that you are taking time for yourself but will remain in contact as needed.

Schedule Check-Ins – Maintain regular appointments with your therapist, counselor, or recovery group. Even if you are spending more time alone, these sessions ensure you are not isolating in an unhealthy way.

Use Written or Online Communication – If direct social interaction feels overwhelming, consider journaling your thoughts and sharing them with a therapist or trusted person via email or online messages.

Engage in Guided Solitude – Consider structured solitude that includes mindfulness exercises, guided self-reflection, or journaling prompts provided by a professional. This ensures your time alone remains productive and healing.

Plan for Re-Engagement – Before entering a period of solitude, set a plan for when and how you will reintegrate with your support system. Define specific milestones, such as checking in with a therapist weekly or rejoining a support group after a set time.

A Healthy Approach to Eremitism

Solitude can be a powerful tool in your healing journey, but it should never come at the cost of your recovery. Instead of seeing eremitism as a complete withdrawal, reframe it as intentional solitude with structured support. By maintaining connections with professional help and trusted allies, you can ensure that your time alone serves your recovery rather than becoming a form of avoidance.

Conclusion

Eremitism, when practiced with intention, can be a powerful tool for scam victims seeking to reclaim their sense of self after betrayal and loss. By creating space for self-reflection and emotional healing, solitude offers a controlled environment where individuals can process their experiences without external pressure or judgment. It allows victims to move from a place of emotional turmoil to a state of clarity, self-awareness, and resilience.

Solitude should not be viewed as a permanent retreat from society but rather as a temporary sanctuary for healing and self-discovery. Scam victims who engage in eremitism can use this time to explore their emotions, strengthen their inner resolve, and redefine their identity beyond their experience. Whether practiced in nature or within the home, structured solitude encourages thoughtful introspection and provides an opportunity to develop a renewed sense of control over one’s future.

However, it is essential to balance solitude with necessary support. Therapy, counseling, and recovery programs remain vital components of healing, ensuring that time alone does not lead to harmful isolation or rumination. Scam victims can benefit from setting boundaries rather than complete disconnection, allowing them to maintain access to professional guidance while still experiencing the benefits of solitude.

By embracing eremitism in a mindful way, scam victims can emerge from their period of reflection stronger, more grounded, and with a clearer vision for their future. Rather than being defined by their past, they can step forward with a renewed sense of self-trust and resilience, ready to rebuild their lives with wisdom and confidence.

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Important Information for New Scam Victims

• Please visit www.ScamVictimsSupport.org – a SCARS Website for New Scam Victims & Sextortion Victims
• SCARS Institute now offers a free recovery program at www.SCARSeducation.org
• Please visit www.ScamPsychology.org – to more fully understand the psychological concepts involved in scams and scam victim recovery

If you are looking for local trauma counselors please visit counseling.AgainstScams.org or join SCARS for our counseling/therapy benefit: membership.AgainstScams.org

If you need to speak with someone now, you can dial 988 or find phone numbers for crisis hotlines all around the world here: www.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines

A Question of Trust

At the SCARS Institute, we invite you to do your own research on the topics we speak about and publish, Our team investigates the subject being discussed, especially when it comes to understanding the scam victims-survivors experience. You can do Google searches but in many cases, you will have to wade through scientific papers and studies. However, remember that biases and perspectives matter and influence the outcome. Regardless, we encourage you to explore these topics as thoroughly as you can for your own awareness.

Statement About Victim Blaming

Some of our articles discuss various aspects of victims. This is both about better understanding victims (the science of victimology) and their behaviors and psychology. This helps us to educate victims/survivors about why these crimes happened and to not blame themselves, better develop recovery programs, and to help victims avoid scams in the future. At times this may sound like blaming the victim, but it does not blame scam victims, we are simply explaining the hows and whys of the experience victims have.

These articles, about the Psychology of Scams or Victim Psychology – meaning that all humans have psychological or cognitive characteristics in common that can either be exploited or work against us – help us all to understand the unique challenges victims face before, during, and after scams, fraud, or cybercrimes. These sometimes talk about some of the vulnerabilities the scammers exploit. Victims rarely have control of them or are even aware of them, until something like a scam happens and then they can learn how their mind works and how to overcome these mechanisms.

Articles like these help victims and others understand these processes and how to help prevent them from being exploited again or to help them recover more easily by understanding their post-scam behaviors. Learn more about the Psychology of Scams at www.ScamPsychology.org

SCARS Resources:

• Getting Started: ScamVictimsSupport.org
• FREE enrollment in the SCARS Institute training programs for scam victims SCARSeducation.org
• For New Victims of Relationship Scams newvictim.AgainstScams.org
• Subscribe to SCARS Newsletter newsletter.againstscams.org
• Sign up for SCARS professional support & recovery groups, visit support.AgainstScams.org
• Find competent trauma counselors or therapists, visit counseling.AgainstScams.org
• Become a SCARS Member and get free counseling benefits, visit membership.AgainstScams.org
• Report each and every crime, learn how to at reporting.AgainstScams.org
• Learn more about Scams & Scammers at RomanceScamsNOW.com and ScamsNOW.com
• Learn more about the Psychology of Scams and Scam Victims: ScamPsychology.org
• Self-Help Books for Scam Victims are at shop.AgainstScams.org
• Worldwide Crisis Hotlines: International Suicide Hotlines – OpenCounseling : OpenCounseling
• Campaign To End Scam Victim Blaming – 2024 (scamsnow.com)

Psychology Disclaimer:

All articles about psychology and the human brain on this website are for information & education only

The information provided in this and other SCARS articles are intended for educational and self-help purposes only and should not be construed as a substitute for professional therapy or counseling.

Note about Mindfulness: Mindfulness practices have the potential to create psychological distress for some individuals. Please consult a mental health professional or experienced meditation instructor for guidance should you encounter difficulties.

While any self-help techniques outlined herein may be beneficial for scam victims seeking to recover from their experience and move towards recovery, it is important to consult with a qualified mental health professional before initiating any course of action. Each individual’s experience and needs are unique, and what works for one person may not be suitable for another.

Additionally, any approach may not be appropriate for individuals with certain pre-existing mental health conditions or trauma histories. It is advisable to seek guidance from a licensed therapist or counselor who can provide personalized support, guidance, and treatment tailored to your specific needs.

If you are experiencing significant distress or emotional difficulties related to a scam or other traumatic event, please consult your doctor or mental health provider for appropriate care and support.

Also read our SCARS Institute Statement about Professional Care for Scam Victims – click here

If you are in crisis, feeling desperate, or in despair please call 988 or your local crisis hotline.

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