Cooking As Therapy For Scam Victims

Healing for Scam Victims After a Relationship Scam

Primary Category: Scam Victims Recovery Psychology

Author:
•  Tim McGuinness, Ph.D., DFin, MCPO, MAnth – Anthropologist, Scientist, Polymath, Director of the Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Inc.
•  Janina Morcinek – Certified and Licensed Educator, European Regional Director of the Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Inc.

Author Biographies Below

About This Article

Cooking your own meals after experiencing a relationship scam can be a powerful therapeutic tool. It provides a sense of control, mindfulness, and focus that is essential for emotional healing. The act of preparing and cooking your meals encourages you to be present in the moment, reducing stress and anxiety by engaging your senses and calming your mind. By choosing your own ingredients, you can opt for foods that promote mental well-being, such as whole grains, fatty fish, and leafy greens, while avoiding processed foods and those high in sugar, trans fats, and sodium, which can negatively impact mood and emotional regulation.
Additionally, cooking at home helps you avoid the stress and poor nutritional value often associated with fast food and dining out, further supporting your emotional recovery. This mindful approach to food preparation not only nourishes your body but also your mind, offering a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction as you create and enjoy nourishing meals.

Note: This article is intended for informational purposes and does not replace professional medical advice. If you are experiencing distress, please consult a qualified mental health professional.

Cooking as Therapy: Healing for Scam Victims After a Relationship Scam

After experiencing the emotional turmoil of a relationship scam, finding ways to regain control, calm your mind, and nurture your well-being is critical, and cooking allows for this.

Cooking your own meals is a surprisingly effective method for healing after a scam. Through the simple act of preparing and cooking your own meals, you can set aside all of the stress and totally focus on what you are doing.

Cooking can be a therapeutic and cathartic experience, offering mindfulness, focus, and the opportunity to make healthier food choices that promote mental well-being.

The Therapeutic Power of Cooking

Cooking your own meals can be a deeply therapeutic activity, especially after the emotional stress of a scam. The process of selecting ingredients, following recipes, and focusing on the one task at hand can bring a sense of order and purpose to your day, it’s an act of mindfulness. This focus on the present moment helps induce a state of mindfulness, where you are fully engaged in the activity and less likely to dwell on past pain or future worries.

When you cook, you’re not just preparing food; you’re creating something tangible and nourishing for yourself (and your family). This act of creation can restore a sense of control and accomplishment, which is often lost during traumatic experiences like being scammed. As you chop, stir, and season, you’re engaging in a ritual as old as human life since the utilization of fire, which can calm the mind and provide a much-needed distraction from negative thoughts.

Even if it is not perfect, just the doing is what matters!

Take Shopping Slowly

Taking your time when shopping for food is an essential step in fostering better health and well-being. By carefully selecting real, natural foods and avoiding heavily processed options, you provide your body with the nutrients it needs to function optimally. Real foods, such as fresh fruits, vegetables, whole grains, lean proteins, and healthy fats, are rich in vitamins, minerals, and antioxidants that support mental and physical health. In contrast, heavily processed foods often contain artificial ingredients, preservatives, and unhealthy fats that can contribute to inflammation, weight gain, and mood swings. By prioritizing natural, whole foods in your shopping cart, you make a conscious choice to nourish your body and mind, setting the foundation for long-term well-being.

Mindfulness and Focus in the Kitchen

Mindfulness, the practice of being present in the moment, is a key element of mental well-being. Cooking naturally encourages mindfulness because it requires concentration and attention to detail. Whether you’re measuring ingredients, monitoring the heat, taste testing every stage, or timing the cooking process, you must focus on the task at hand. This focus can help quiet the mind and reduce the mental clutter (rumination) that often accompanies stress and anxiety.

The repetitive actions involved in cooking, such as chopping vegetables or stirring a pot, can be particularly soothing. These tasks allow your mind to settle into a rhythm, which can be calming and meditative. As you become more absorbed in the process, you find that your worries begin to fade into the background, giving you a break from the emotional aftermath of the scam.

Creative Satisfaction

There’s a deep sense of creative satisfaction that comes from preparing a meal and watching it come to life. From the moment you begin selecting ingredients to the final plating, you’re engaging in a creative process that allows you to express yourself and take control of your nourishment. Each step, whether it’s chopping vegetables, seasoning a dish, or arranging food on a plate, reflects your personal touch and intention. This act of creation is both fulfilling and empowering, as you transform raw ingredients into a delicious, nourishing meal.

Taking the time to savor the meal you’ve prepared adds another layer of satisfaction. By slowing down and truly enjoying each bite, you’re not only appreciating the flavors and textures of the food but also honoring the effort and creativity that went into making it. This mindful approach to eating enhances your connection to the meal, turning it into a moment of gratitude and self-care. It’s more than just feeding your body; it’s feeding your soul with the joy of creation and the pleasure of truly experiencing the fruits of your labor.

Choosing Foods That Promote Mental Well-Being

Another significant benefit of cooking for yourself is the ability to choose foods that support your mental health. Certain foods are known to have a positive impact on mood and emotional well-being.

For example:

• Whole grains, such as brown rice and oats, provide a steady release of energy and help stabilize blood sugar levels, which can prevent mood swings.
• Fatty fish like salmon and mackerel are rich in omega-3 fatty acids, which are essential for brain health and can reduce symptoms of depression and anxiety.
• Leafy greens like spinach and kale are high in folate, a nutrient that helps regulate mood and reduce the risk of depression.
• Berries are packed with antioxidants, which can help reduce inflammation in the brain and improve cognitive function.

By preparing your own meals, you can ensure that your diet includes these mood-boosting foods while avoiding processed and sugary options that can negatively affect your mental stability.

Dr. Tim’s Secret

Acai berries are often touted for their numerous health benefits, including their potential to stabilize mood. These small, dark berries are rich in antioxidants, particularly anthocyanins, which help reduce oxidative stress and inflammation in the brain. Reducing oxidative stress is important because chronic inflammation is linked to various mental health issues, including depression and anxiety.

Acai berries also contain essential fatty acids, such as omega-3 and omega-6, which are vital for maintaining brain health and may contribute to improved mood regulation. Moreover, they are a good source of fiber, which supports gut health, a key player in the gut-brain axis that influences mood and mental well-being.

While acai berries can be part of a healthy diet that supports mood stability, it’s important to note that they should be consumed as part of a balanced diet rich in various nutrients. Alone, they are unlikely to have a dramatic effect on mood but can contribute positively when included in an overall healthy lifestyle.

Avoiding the Stress of Fast Food and Restaurants

In the aftermath of a relationship scam, stress levels are already high. Eating out at fast food joints or restaurants can add to this stress, especially if the environment is noisy, crowded, or if the food is unhealthy. Fast food and restaurant meals often contain high levels of unhealthy fats, sugars, and sodium, which can contribute to mood swings, anxiety, and depression. Fast food drive-throughs are especially stress-inducing and should be avoided.

By cooking at home, you avoid the potential stressors of eating out and can control the nutritional content of your meals. This not only supports your physical health but also your emotional well-being. The comfort of your own kitchen provides a safe space where you can experiment with recipes, try new foods, and nourish yourself both physically and mentally.

Foods to Avoid

Certain foods can negatively impact mood and emotional regulation, especially when consumed in excess or as part of an unbalanced diet. Here are some key foods to avoid:

Sugary Foods and Beverages

• Impact: High-sugar foods, such as candies, pastries, and sugary drinks, cause rapid spikes and drops in blood sugar levels. These fluctuations can lead to mood swings, irritability, and feelings of anxiety.
• Reason: The initial sugar rush is often followed by a crash, which can result in feelings of fatigue, low mood, and difficulty concentrating.

Refined Carbohydrates

• Impact: Foods made from white flour, such as white bread, pasta, and pastries, can similarly cause blood sugar spikes and crashes, leading to emotional instability.
• Reason: Refined carbs are quickly digested, leading to a rapid increase in blood sugar followed by a sharp decline, which can negatively affect mood and energy levels.

Processed Foods

• Impact: Processed and fast foods, such as chips, fried foods, and ready-made meals, are often high in unhealthy fats, sugars, and preservatives, all of which can contribute to poor mood regulation.
• Reason: These foods can cause inflammation in the body, including the brain, which is linked to an increased risk of depression and anxiety.

Artificial Sweeteners – Sugar is Better if you Have To!

• Impact: Some studies suggest that artificial sweeteners, such as aspartame and saccharin, can negatively affect mood and cognitive function.
• Reason: Artificial sweeteners may alter neurotransmitter levels in the brain, which can lead to mood disturbances.

Caffeine

• Impact: While moderate caffeine consumption can boost alertness and mood, excessive intake can lead to anxiety, restlessness, and sleep disturbances, all of which negatively affect mood.
• Reason: Caffeine stimulates the central nervous system, and too much can lead to overstimulation, resulting in mood swings and anxiety.

Alcohol

• Impact: Alcohol is a depressant that can disrupt the balance of neurotransmitters in the brain, leading to feelings of depression and anxiety, especially when consumed in large amounts.
• Reason: While alcohol may initially have a relaxing effect, its overall impact is to impair brain function, leading to worsened mood regulation.

Trans Fats

• Impact: Trans fats, found in many fried foods, baked goods, and margarine, have been linked to an increased risk of depression.
• Reason: These unhealthy fats can lead to inflammation and interfere with the production of omega-3 fatty acids, which are essential for maintaining brain health and mood stability.

High-Sodium Foods

• Impact: Foods high in sodium, such as processed snacks and canned soups, can contribute to hypertension and negatively affect the body’s stress response.
• Reason: High sodium intake can interfere with the body’s natural hormone levels, which can contribute to increased stress and anxiety.

Carbonated Beverages

• Impact: Carbonated drinks, including sodas and sparkling waters, can lead to stomach acid imbalances, which may contribute to feelings of discomfort and irritability.
• Reason: The carbonation in these beverages can cause bloating and decreased stomach acid, which may lead to digestive discomfort. Digestive health is closely linked to mental health through the gut-brain axis, so discomfort in the stomach can negatively affect mood and emotional stability.

By avoiding or reducing these foods in your diet, you can help promote better emotional regulation and overall mental well-being. Instead, focus on a diet rich in whole foods, including fruits, vegetables, whole grains, lean proteins, and healthy fats, which support stable moods and mental health.

Journaling

Take photos of your creations and add them to your journal entries or share them in your support group with pride! The act of cooking represents a step toward taking control back in your life and being mindful; all is noteworthy in your journey of recovery!

AXIOS!

Conclusion

Cooking your own meals after a relationship scam is more than just a practical necessity; it’s a powerful tool for emotional healing.

The act of cooking encourages mindfulness and focus, providing a calming and therapeutic outlet for stress. By choosing foods that promote mental well-being and avoiding the pitfalls of fast food and restaurants, you can support your recovery and nurture your emotional health. Embracing the kitchen as a place of healing can help you regain control in your life, find peace, and move forward on your journey to recovery.

Recipe Ideas

• 99 Easy Meals to Make When You’re Staying Indoors | Taste of Home
• Top 100 easy dinner recipes (taste.com.au)
• 33 Easy Dinner Ideas When You’re Not Sure What To Make (tasty.co)

Glossary

• Acceptance cooking — This refers to cooking as a small act of acceptance after loss. It gives a person a concrete way to move forward while grief and anger remain present. Simple meals help build momentum without pressure for perfection.
• Acai berries — This describes a berry rich in antioxidants, fiber, and healthy fats. It may support brain health and mood when used as part of a balanced diet. Smoothies or bowls keep portions clear and affordable.
• Active coping — This means taking practical steps that improve daily life. Cooking at home counts because it adds structure, nourishment, and calm. Small actions done often rebuild confidence.
• Antioxidants — This refers to nutrients that help lower inflammation in the body and brain. Berries, leafy greens, and colorful vegetables provide them. Regular intake can support a steadier mood.
• Appetite cues — This describes the natural signals of hunger and fullness. Cooking at home makes these easier to notice. Pausing to plate and chew slowly helps a person respond to real cues.
• Batch cooking — This means preparing larger amounts of food at one time. It reduces decisions on hard days and saves money. Freezer-ready portions give future support.
• Blood sugar stability — This describes steady energy created by balanced meals. Whole grains, protein, and healthy fats lower spikes and crashes. Stable energy supports clearer thinking and a calmer mood.
• Carbonated beverages — This refers to fizzy drinks that can cause bloating or stomach upset. Discomfort can worsen irritability and anxiety. Still water or herbal tea keeps digestion quieter.
• Comfort cooking — This means using familiar recipes to create safety and warmth. It avoids ultra-processed shortcuts that can worsen mood. Simple soups, stews, and baked dishes fit well.
• Cooking ritual — This describes repeating steps that anchor the evening. Washing hands, laying out tools, and preheating the pan create order. Routine lowers stress and invites focus.
• Creative expression — This refers to the personal choices made in seasoning, plating, and pairing foods. Creativity restores a sense of agency. Small wins in the kitchen build pride.
• Digestive health — This describes how the gut functions day to day. Fiber, hydration, and gentle cooking methods support comfort. A calmer gut often supports a calmer mind.
• Executive function support — This means helping with planning and follow-through. Written lists, staged prep, and timers reduce overwhelm. The kitchen becomes a training ground for small, successful tasks.
• Fiber — This refers to the parts of plant foods that aid digestion and fullness. Beans, whole grains, fruits, and vegetables provide it. Adequate fiber levels support energy and mood.
• Food journaling — This means tracking meals, feelings, and sleep. Notes and photos make patterns visible without judgment. Visibility helps a person adjust gently.
• Food triggers — This describes items that predictably worsen mood or sleep. Sugary drinks, heavy fried foods, and late caffeine often appear here. Identifying triggers guides simpler choices.
• Grocery planning — This refers to writing a short list before shopping. The list focuses on whole foods and basic staples. Planning reduces impulse buys and decision fatigue.
• Gut-brain axis — This describes the connection between digestive health and emotional state. Fiber, fermented foods, and balanced meals may support it. Steadier digestion often pairs with steadier mood.
• Healthy fats — This refers to fats that support brain and heart health. Nuts, olive oil, and fatty fish are common sources. Moderate portions increase satisfaction and reduce snacking.
• Home-cooking default — This means choosing to cook at home most days. The default cuts exposure to fast-food stressors and hidden ingredients. Confidence grows with repetition.
• Hydration — This describes regular fluid intake that supports energy and digestion. Water with meals and between tasks prevents headaches and fatigue. A filled bottle within reach increases success.
• Ingredient literacy — This refers to reading labels and recognizing basic foods. Short ingredient lists and simple staples make meals predictable. Clarity lowers anxiety during recovery.
• Leafy greens — This describes vegetables like spinach and kale that provide folate and minerals. Regular servings can support mood regulation. Quick sautés and salads keep prep easy.
• Meal pacing — This means setting calm, unhurried meal times. A person sits to eat and avoids multitasking. Pacing improves satisfaction and lowers mindless snacking.
• Meal planning — This refers to deciding on a few meals in advance. Two or three anchor dishes per week are enough. Planning keeps structure without pressure.
• Mindful cooking — This describes paying steady attention to one task at a time. Measuring, chopping, and tasting bring focus to the present. Mindfulness reduces rumination and stress.
• Mood-supportive foods — This refers to items linked with steadier mood and energy. Whole grains, berries, leafy greens, legumes, and fatty fish often appear here. Building plates around them is practical and affordable.
• Negative nutrition spiral — This describes the cycle of stress, takeout, crashes, and poorer sleep. Breaking the spiral starts with one home-cooked meal. Momentum then gets easier.
• Omega-3 fatty acids — This refers to fats that support brain function. Salmon, mackerel, walnuts, and flaxseed contain them. Weekly servings fit most budgets with canned fish.
• Processed foods — This describes items high in added sugars, trans fats, or preservatives. Frequent use can worsen inflammation and mood. Limiting them simplifies recovery.
• Shopping with intention — This means moving slowly through the store with a clear plan. Fresh produce, proteins, and staple grains form the cart. Calm shopping reduces overwhelm.
• Sleep-friendly choices — This refers to meals and habits that support rest. Lighter evening dishes and limited caffeine help. Rest improves emotional regulation.
• Sodium awareness — This describes noticing high-salt items that raise blood pressure and stress. Homemade sauces and herbs deliver flavor without excess salt. Taste adjusts within weeks.
• Stress cooking vs stress eating — This contrasts cooking to release tension with eating to numb feelings. Cooking adds structure and pride. Eating for numbness fades quickly and often adds regret.
• Sugar crash — This refers to the energy drop after a high-sugar intake. Crashes can trigger irritability and anxious feelings. Balanced plates prevent the swing.
• Therapeutic kitchen — This describes the kitchen as a safe, orderly workspace. Clean counters, basic tools, and music set the tone. The space itself becomes part of healing.
• Whole-foods pattern — This means building meals from foods close to their natural form. Fruits, vegetables, grains, beans, eggs, dairy, and simple proteins fit. The pattern is flexible and sustainable.

Author Biographies

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