Scammer Control Mechanisms – Dominance and Manipulation of Scam Victims
How Scammers Maintain Control Over Their Scam Victims: Tactics, Control & Dominance – Monitoring Mechanisms, and Psychological Effects
Primary Category: Psychology of Scams
Authors:
• Vianey Gonzalez B.Sc(Psych) – Licensed Psychologist Specialty in Crime Victim Trauma Therapy, Neuropsychologist, Certified Deception Professional, Psychology Advisory Panel & Director of the Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Inc.
• Tim McGuinness, Ph.D. – Anthropologist, Scientist, Director of the Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Inc.
About This Article
Scammers exert control over their victims using various psychological manipulation tactics, including monitoring online activity, requesting personal photos and screenshots, gaslighting, and creating fake crises. These techniques are designed to keep victims compliant, confused, and emotionally dependent. Victims often experience heightened anxiety, emotional exhaustion, and eroded self-esteem due to the continuous control and monitoring.
The scammers’ demands and manipulations mirror tactics used by narcissistic abusers, such as isolation, reality distortion, and undermining the victim’s sense of autonomy. Families and friends can play a crucial role in helping victims break free by offering empathetic support, avoiding judgment, and guiding them towards resources and counseling.
Providing a safe space for victims to process their trauma can help them regain control and begin their journey to recovery. Understanding these control mechanisms is critical for victims to recognize the signs of manipulation and take steps toward emotional and psychological healing.
How Scammers Maintain Control Over Their Scam Victims: Tactics, Control & Dominance – Monitoring Mechanisms, and Psychological Effects
Scammers are master manipulators, and their goal isn’t just to deceive their victims for a quick payout; they aim to maintain long-term control & domination to extract as much as possible. The more power, control, and domination they have over the scam victim, the longer they can perpetuate the scam, escalating both emotional and financial damage in the process as a consequence. Scammers employ various control mechanisms and techniques to monitor and manipulate their victims’ activities, from requesting photos and proof of transactions to psychological manipulation that mimics tactics used by narcissistic abusers. This article explores how scammers exert control, some of the methods they use to monitor their victims, and referencing the profound psychological effects of this manipulation.
Ways Scammers Monitor and Control Their Victims
Scammers are increasingly sophisticated in their methods to monitor and control their victims, particularly in long-term scams such as romance fraud or cryptocurrency investment schemes. These criminals use a variety of tactics to ensure their victims remain compliant, unaware, and emotionally dependent throughout the scam. By employing techniques such as constant surveillance, demanding personal details, and requesting photos or screenshots of financial transactions, scammers maintain control over their victims’ actions. These tactics often mirror the psychological manipulation seen in narcissistic abuse, where dominance is achieved by undermining the victim’s self-confidence and sense of autonomy. Understanding these control mechanisms is critical for recognizing the signs of manipulation, breaking free from the scam, and beginning the recovery process.
Requests for Photos and Screen Grabs
Overview
One of the most common tactics scammers use is demanding photos or screen captures, especially of financial transactions. These “proofs of performance” serve multiple purposes:
Proof of compliance: Scammers ask for photos or screenshots of bank transfers, cryptocurrency transactions, or receipts to confirm that the victim has sent the money or followed instructions. This serves as proof that their manipulation is working.
Building false trust: By asking for and receiving these images, the scammer creates the illusion of a transparent, reciprocal relationship. This can make the victim feel accountable and obligated to continue.
Evidence for future manipulation: Screenshots and photos of private documents or financial transactions give scammers even more leverage. They can use this information to blackmail the victim, threatening to expose them if they don’t comply with further demands.
Requests for photos and screen grabs are common tools used by scammers to exert control and maintain dominance over their victims. Psychologically, these requests serve multiple purposes for the scammer while further entrapping the victim in a cycle of emotional and psychological dependence.
For the Scammer
Verification and Manipulation: When scammers request photos or screenshots of financial transactions, they gain confirmation that the victim is following through with the scam’s demands. These visuals act as proof that the victim is still under their influence and submitting to their requests. This verification empowers the scammer to escalate the scam, knowing the victim remains compliant.
Creating a Sense of Accountability: By asking for photos or proof of actions (e.g., screenshots of transfers or personal images), scammers create an illusion of transparency, as though both parties are equally sharing personal details. This fosters a false sense of trust between the scammer and the victim, reinforcing the victim’s belief that the scammer is acting in good faith or that they need to continually provide evidence to maintain the “relationship” or “investment.”
Maintaining Control: Each time a victim complies with a request for personal documentation or screenshots, the scammer tightens their psychological control. The victim becomes more accustomed to complying with demands, making it harder to resist further manipulative requests down the road. Over time, the scammer’s control becomes more entrenched as the victim internalizes the need to provide proof of their compliance.
To the Victim
Psychological Dependence and Compliance: Victims often feel pressure to provide photos and screen grabs as a way to keep the scammer engaged or to avoid disappointing them. This pressure fosters psychological dependence, as victims believe their compliance is necessary to maintain the relationship or meet the scam’s goals. As they submit to more demands, victims may feel increasingly trapped in a pattern of obedience, which makes it harder to break free from the scam.
Reinforcement of Guilt and Shame: Repeatedly sending financial proof or personal photos can reinforce feelings of guilt, shame, and embarrassment, especially if victims begin to sense they are being exploited. The more they give, the more difficult it becomes to admit that they’ve been deceived. These negative emotions contribute to victims isolating themselves from loved ones or avoiding seeking help.
Emotional Bonding and Cognitive Dissonance: The act of continually providing personal evidence creates a bond between the victim and scammer, deepening the emotional manipulation. Victims may rationalize that their efforts are necessary to continue the relationship or investment, leading to cognitive dissonance. They may overlook or rationalize inconsistencies, red flags, or warning signs as a result of the emotional ties established through these requests.
Comparison to Narcissistic Abuse
The tactic of requesting photos and screen grabs closely mirrors control strategies used by narcissists. In narcissistic relationships, the abuser often demands constant validation, proof of loyalty, or submission from their victim to maintain control. This gradual erosion of the victim’s autonomy weakens their confidence and self-worth, making it difficult for them to escape the cycle of abuse. Similarly, scammers use requests for personal proof to undermine the victim’s sense of independence, trapping them in an ongoing relationship of dominance and control.
In both scams and narcissistic abuse, these mechanisms create a psychological environment where the victim feels obligated to continuously prove their loyalty or worth, which ultimately strengthens the abuser’s grip on them.
Monitoring Online Activity
Overview
Scammers may subtly monitor their victims’ online activities, especially in romance scams, by:
Staying connected through social media: Scammers often connect with their victims on various platforms to keep tabs on their interactions. If a victim starts following someone new or posts anything that might suggest they’re catching on, scammers quickly intervene to reinforce the narrative.
Insisting on regular communication: Victims are often instructed to check in multiple times a day or send updates on their daily routines. This keeps the scammer in constant control, making it harder for the victim to step away or think critically about the situation.
Tracking financial moves: Scammers sometimes demand access to victims’ bank accounts or cryptocurrency wallets, ostensibly to “assist” them. This level of access allows them to watch every financial move the victim makes, helping them plot their next move.
For the Scammer
Enhanced Control: Monitoring the victim’s online activity allows the scammer to maintain control over the victim’s actions. By closely observing what the victim does online—such as social media posts, financial activities, or interactions with others—the scammer can anticipate and manipulate the victim’s next moves. This enables them to tighten the psychological leash, ensuring the victim remains reliant on them.
Prevention of Outside Influence: By monitoring, scammers can intervene if they suspect the victim is seeking outside advice or researching scams. If a victim begins to question the legitimacy of the relationship or financial arrangement, the scammer can quickly respond by preemptively discrediting external sources of information or reinforcing their deceptive narrative. This makes it harder for the victim to reach out for help or realize they are being manipulated.
Tailored Manipulation: Scammers use insights from the victim’s online behavior to tailor their manipulation tactics. For instance, if the scammer sees the victim expressing vulnerability, loneliness, or anxiety on social media, they can exploit these emotions to deepen the scam. Similarly, if a victim begins to express doubt, the scammer might use fear or guilt to regain control.
To the Victim
Erosion of Privacy and Autonomy: Victims often feel increasingly watched and controlled when scammers monitor their online activity. This invasion of privacy creates anxiety and a sense of being “trapped,” as victims feel they have no space to act independently or make decisions without the scammer’s knowledge. Over time, this undermines their autonomy, making it harder for them to break free from the scam.
Increased Fear and Paranoia: Victims who realize their activity is being monitored can develop heightened fear and paranoia. They may become overly cautious about what they say or do online, worried that any misstep will anger the scammer or lead to retaliation. This fear further isolates them, making it difficult to reach out for help or even process their emotions in a healthy way.
Emotional Exhaustion: Constant monitoring can lead to emotional fatigue for the victim. Knowing that every online interaction or financial transaction is scrutinized by the scammer adds immense pressure, as the victim feels they must always act in accordance with the scammer’s demands. This ongoing stress can lead to cognitive overload, making it harder for victims to think critically or escape the situation.
Parallels with Narcissistic Abuse
Monitoring in a scam closely resembles tactics used by narcissistic abusers who dominate and control their victims by constantly surveilling their actions. Narcissists often monitor their partner’s phone or social media to maintain dominance, ensuring the victim remains emotionally dependent. This continuous intrusion erodes the victim’s self-confidence and autonomy, trapping them in a cycle of fear and compliance. Similarly, scammers use monitoring to isolate victims and manipulate their behavior, keeping them dependent and emotionally trapped.
In both scams and narcissistic abuse, this control tactic keeps the victim in a state of hypervigilance, making them more susceptible to manipulation and less likely to seek outside help. Recognizing this behavior as a control mechanism is key to breaking free and reclaiming one’s autonomy.
Use of Fake Crises and Emotional Manipulation
Overview
Like narcissistic abusers, scammers use fabricated crises to manipulate victims’ emotions. They often manufacture urgent situations, such as medical emergencies or legal troubles, and demand immediate financial help.
Emotional dependency: Scammers create a fake emotional bond that traps the victim. They may call the victim their “lifesaver” or “soulmate,” claiming that only they can help resolve the emergency. This creates a dynamic where the victim feels indispensable to the scammer, encouraging them to act without hesitation.
Constant urgency: Scammers always present situations as dire and urgent, keeping the victim in a heightened state of anxiety. This stress impairs the victim’s ability to think critically or question the validity of the scam.
The use of fake crises and emotional manipulation by scammers is a sophisticated psychological tactic that aims to exploit victims’ emotions, create urgency, and reinforce dependency. Both scammers and victims experience significant psychological effects from this interaction, but in very different ways.
For the Scammer
Psychological Control and Manipulation: Fake crises serve as a way for scammers to maintain control over their victims. By fabricating emergencies—such as a medical issue, a sudden financial disaster, or a life-threatening situation—they can elicit immediate emotional responses. The scammer benefits by keeping the victim in a heightened state of anxiety and urgency, which leads the victim to act quickly, often without critically analyzing the situation. These emotional responses become predictable, allowing the scammer to manipulate the victim’s actions more effectively.
Escalation and Emotional Bonding: Each new crisis serves to deepen the emotional connection between the scammer and the victim. The scammer often plays the role of a vulnerable or needy individual, which manipulates the victim’s empathy. The victim feels increasingly responsible for the scammer’s well-being, thus solidifying their emotional bond. This emotional investment leads the victim to make sacrifices—financial, emotional, and psychological—in order to resolve the crisis, creating a pattern of dependence.
Reinforcement of Compliance: By constantly presenting new emergencies, scammers train their victims to respond with obedience. The repeated cycle of crises reinforces the victim’s perception that their help is essential for resolving the scammer’s problems. This manipulation ensures ongoing compliance and makes it difficult for the victim to disengage, even when warning signs appear.
To the Victim
Emotional Exhaustion and Guilt: Victims who are subjected to fake crises often experience intense emotional exhaustion. The continuous barrage of emergencies leaves them feeling mentally drained, as they are constantly responding to the perceived needs of the scammer. This creates a cycle of guilt and responsibility, where the victim believes they must continue helping the scammer to alleviate the stress of the situation. Guilt further traps the victim in the scam, making them feel as though they are abandoning someone in need if they stop offering support.
Heightened Anxiety and Fear: Fake crises trigger an immediate emotional reaction, often rooted in fear. Victims fear the consequences of not acting quickly enough, whether that means failing to “save” the scammer from harm or losing money. Over time, this heightened anxiety becomes chronic, as the victim is kept in a constant state of worry and alertness. This state of emotional hypervigilance makes it harder for the victim to break free from the scam or think critically about the situation.
Cognitive Dissonance: Victims often struggle with cognitive dissonance, a psychological conflict between their growing doubts about the scammer and their emotional attachment. As each crisis unfolds, the victim may begin to question the legitimacy of the situation, but the emotional manipulation makes it difficult for them to reconcile these doubts with their feelings of empathy or responsibility. They may rationalize the inconsistencies in the scammer’s story in order to maintain their belief in the relationship or narrative.
Parallels with Narcissistic Abuse
The use of fake crises in scams closely mirrors the control tactics used by narcissistic abusers. In both scenarios, the abuser creates chaotic situations that keep the victim emotionally unbalanced and reliant on them. Narcissistic abusers often fabricate crises to manipulate their partners into feeling responsible or obligated to help, undermining the victim’s self-confidence and sense of autonomy. The constant emotional manipulation and unpredictability leave victims feeling powerless, which mirrors the experience of scam victims who are continually responding to fabricated emergencies.
In both cases, the abuser’s goal is to create an environment where the victim feels dependent and incapable of breaking free, either from the relationship or from the cycle of scams. Recognizing these tactics is essential for victims to regain control over their emotional well-being and start the process of recovery. Understanding the psychological impact of fake crises and emotional manipulation can empower scam victims to see through these tactics and take steps toward disengaging from the scam.
Gaslighting and Reality Distortion
Overview
Much like narcissistic abusers, scammers use gaslighting to undermine the victim’s confidence and skew their sense of reality.
Denying facts: When victims begin to doubt the legitimacy of the relationship or business deal, scammers will deny any wrongdoing and present fabricated evidence to support their claims.
Blaming the victim: Scammers often blame the victim for any “mistakes,” such as sending money to the wrong account or not acting quickly enough. This causes the victim to feel responsible for the scam’s supposed failures, driving them to invest more time and money in the hope of making things right.
For the Scammer
Psychological Control and Manipulation: Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation where the scammer distorts the victim’s sense of reality to maintain control. By repeatedly denying, contradicting, or distorting facts, the scammer creates confusion, causing the victim to doubt their own perceptions and memory. This serves the scammer’s goal by reinforcing their narrative, making the victim reliant on the scammer’s version of reality. Over time, the scammer’s fabricated reality becomes dominant, allowing them to continue their fraudulent activities without interference from the victim’s doubts or external influences.
Escalation of Dependency: As the victim’s confidence in their own judgment diminishes, they become increasingly dependent on the scammer for validation and guidance. The scammer benefits from this by ensuring the victim is trapped in an emotional and psychological loop where the scammer’s version of events takes precedence over objective truth. The victim, confused and emotionally worn down, will often turn to the scammer for reassurance, further deepening the manipulation.
To the Victim
Erosion of Self-Trust: Victims subjected to gaslighting experience significant erosion of self-trust. As their sense of reality is distorted, they begin to doubt their own perceptions, judgments, and even memories. This results in feelings of confusion and helplessness, as victims lose confidence in their ability to distinguish between what is true and what is fabricated. This psychological confusion makes it much harder for victims to recognize red flags or to challenge the scammer’s behavior.
Emotional Exhaustion: Gaslighting wears down victims emotionally. Constantly questioning their own reality is mentally draining, leaving the victim emotionally exhausted and more susceptible to further manipulation. The victim often feels powerless to fight back or break free, as they no longer trust their own thoughts and feelings. This ongoing exhaustion serves the scammer by keeping the victim in a state of vulnerability, making it easier to maintain control.
Isolation and Compliance: One of the key effects of gaslighting is the isolation it creates. Victims are often manipulated into questioning the motives of others, including friends and family members who may be trying to intervene. By sowing doubt and confusion about the victim’s support network, the scammer can isolate the victim, making it harder for them to seek help. This isolation leads to greater compliance, as the victim feels they have no one else to trust.
Parallels with Narcissistic Abuse
In both scams and narcissistic relationships, gaslighting is used to dominate and undermine the victim’s confidence and autonomy. Narcissistic abusers often distort their partner’s reality, making them question their own sanity and self-worth, which keeps them trapped in an abusive dynamic. Similarly, scammers use gaslighting to blur the victim’s understanding of what is real, deepening their control and making it more difficult for the victim to recognize the deception. Both forms of manipulation exploit the victim’s psychological vulnerability, keeping them emotionally entangled and reliant on the abuser or scammer for validation. Recognizing gaslighting as a control tactic is a crucial step toward breaking free from its damaging effects.
Psychological Effects of Scammer Control on Victims
The tactics scammers use to maintain control have profound psychological effects on their victims, much like the effects of narcissistic abuse.
When a victim falls into the grip of a scam, the psychological impact goes far beyond the immediate financial loss or betrayal of trust. Scammers often employ sophisticated techniques designed to control and manipulate their victims, much like emotional abusers. These tactics are intended to undermine the victim’s sense of reality, diminish their self-confidence, and foster emotional dependency on the scammer. This manipulation creates a deep psychological hold, leaving victims trapped in a cycle of fear, guilt, and confusion, making it difficult for them to break free or recognize the scam for what it is.
Control tactics such as gaslighting, emotional manipulation, constant monitoring, and the creation of fake crises exploit the victim’s vulnerabilities and induce feelings of helplessness. Scammers use these methods to make their victims second-guess their own judgment, keeping them isolated from external perspectives and assistance. As a result, victims often experience significant emotional exhaustion, cognitive dissonance, and a loss of personal agency. The ongoing manipulation takes a serious toll on the victim’s mental health, causing long-term emotional damage that can persist long after the scam ends.
Cognitive Dissonance and Emotional Confusion
Victims of scams often experience cognitive dissonance—the mental conflict that arises from holding two contradictory beliefs. For instance, the victim may suspect that the scam is fraudulent, but their emotional attachment to the scammer (and the scammer’s constant reassurances) prevents them from acting on this suspicion.
Emotional confusion: Victims become emotionally torn between the hope that the scammer is genuine and the evidence that they’ve been manipulated. This inner conflict leaves them in a state of paralysis, unable to act rationally.
Hypervigilance and Paranoia
Scammers’ demands for constant updates, photos, and proof of transactions lead to heightened vigilance on the part of the victim. They become hyperaware of their own actions, fearing repercussions if they fail to meet the scammer’s expectations.
Fear of punishment: Like narcissistic abusers, scammers instill fear in their victims by implying that failure to comply will lead to emotional abandonment or exposure to shameful secrets.
Anxiety and paranoia: Victims can develop a constant state of anxiety, fearing that any mistake or delay will worsen their situation or cause the scammer to retaliate.
Erosion of Self-Esteem and Confidence
Much like narcissistic abuse, scams slowly erode the victim’s self-esteem. By consistently blaming the victim for mistakes or gaslighting them into questioning their judgment, scammers make the victim feel incompetent and unworthy.
Feeling of worthlessness: Victims may start to believe that their financial mistakes or emotional naivety caused the scam, rather than seeing the scammer as a skilled manipulator.
Dependence on the scammer: Over time, victims come to rely on the scammer for validation and direction, losing their sense of independence and control over their own lives.
Parallels to Narcissistic Abuse
The methods scammers use to control victims mirror the tactics of narcissistic abusers, particularly in how they manipulate emotions, distort reality, and create dependence.
Emotional manipulation: Both narcissistic abusers and scammers exploit their victims’ need for validation and affection. They create emotional bonds to foster dependence, making the victim feel that they are indispensable to the abuser’s or scammer’s well-being.
Gaslighting: Just as narcissistic abusers manipulate their victims into doubting their own perceptions, scammers gaslight their victims to maintain control. They fabricate realities and deny any wrongdoing, causing victims to question their instincts.
Isolation: Both types of abusers aim to isolate their victims. Scammers frequently encourage victims to keep their “relationship” or business dealings secret, while narcissistic abusers distance their victims from supportive friends and family. This isolation reinforces the victim’s dependency.
Breaking Free from Scammer Control
Understanding the psychological manipulation behind scams is crucial for victims to break free. Once a victim recognizes that they are being controlled, they can begin to take steps toward recovery. This involves:
Cutting off contact: Victims must stop all communication with the scammer to regain control over their own thoughts and actions.
Seeking support: Talking to friends, family, or professionals can help victims break through the isolation and regain perspective.
Rebuilding confidence: It’s essential for victims to recognize that the scam wasn’t their fault. Rebuilding self-esteem and self-worth is a crucial part of the recovery process.
How Families and Friends Can Help a Scam Victim Break Free
Supporting a scam victim can be a delicate and challenging process, especially when the victim has been psychologically manipulated and emotionally controlled. Families and friends play a critical role in helping the victim recognize the reality of the situation and break free from the scammer’s influence. The key to offering effective support lies in creating a non-judgmental, compassionate environment where the victim feels safe to express their emotions without fear of blame or embarrassment.
The first step families and friends can take is to listen empathetically. Scam victims often feel ashamed and may be reluctant to admit they’ve been deceived. By offering an open, supportive space, you allow the victim to begin processing the emotional trauma. Avoid confrontational language, such as directly telling the victim they’ve been scammed, which could cause them to become defensive. Instead, ask open-ended questions that encourage reflection, such as, “How do you feel about what’s been happening?” or “What are some things that make you trust this person?” This helps the victim begin to reassess the situation without feeling pressured.
Secondly, providing practical resources, such as educational materials on scams or connecting the victim with professional counselors who specialize in scam recovery, can help guide the victim toward self-awareness. If the victim is showing signs of being gaslit or manipulated, it’s important to gently point out inconsistencies in the scammer’s behavior or stories. This can help the victim slowly regain confidence in their own judgment, as they start to see the red flags that may have been previously overlooked due to emotional manipulation.
Finally, it’s essential to be patient. Breaking free from the psychological hold of a scam is a gradual process. Continuous support, reassurance, and a willingness to help the victim through the stages of recovery—whether emotional, financial, or psychological—are critical. Encourage the victim to take control of their life again by helping them rebuild trust in themselves and others. Joining a support group, such as those offered by the SCARS Institute, can provide valuable peer insights and foster a sense of community, allowing victims to share their experiences and start healing in a supportive environment.
Summary
Scammers use a variety of psychological tactics to maintain control over their victims, from monitoring their online activity to demanding proof of compliance with their requests. These methods mirror those used by narcissistic abusers, leveraging emotional manipulation, gaslighting, and isolation to erode the victim’s confidence and sense of self. The psychological toll on victims is severe, often leaving them feeling dependent, anxious, and ashamed. Recognizing these control mechanisms is the first step for scam victims to break free, regain autonomy, and begin the process of emotional and psychological recovery.
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Some of our articles discuss various aspects of victims. This is both about better understanding victims (the science of victimology) and their behaviors and psychology. This helps us to educate victims/survivors about why these crimes happened and to not blame themselves, better develop recovery programs, and to help victims avoid scams in the future. At times this may sound like blaming the victim, but it does not blame scam victims, we are simply explaining the hows and whys of the experience victims have.
These articles, about the Psychology of Scams or Victim Psychology – meaning that all humans have psychological or cognitive characteristics in common that can either be exploited or work against us – help us all to understand the unique challenges victims face before, during, and after scams, fraud, or cybercrimes. These sometimes talk about some of the vulnerabilities the scammers exploit. Victims rarely have control of them or are even aware of them, until something like a scam happens and then they can learn how their mind works and how to overcome these mechanisms.
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What do you think about this?
Please share your thoughts in a comment below!
This an excellent article on the relationship between scammers and their victims. The parallelism in narcissistic abusers and their source is uncanny. Having been on my recovery journey for sometime, I feel hopeful a new life awaits this time wiser and humbled.
We are very proud to have played a role in your recovery and thank you for sharing your excellent insights with other victim-survivors!
Definitely could see these patterns and how their manipulation mirrored that of narcissistic abusers.