Secrets Can Be Deadly For Scam Victims – Scam Victim Recovery Psychology

Authors:
• Tim McGuinness, Ph.D. – Anthropologist, Scientist, Director of the Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Inc.
• Vianey Gonzalez – Psychologist, Certified Deception Professional, Psychology Advisory Panel & Director of the Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Inc.

Unmasking the Burden of Secrecy: How Keeping Secrets Deepens the Trauma for Scam Victims

The experience of falling victim to a scam can be profoundly traumatic. Scam victims often grapple with a wide range of emotions, from anger and humiliation to betrayal and loss. Amidst this turmoil, many victims also carry an additional, heavy burden—the burden of keeping their victimhood a secret. This article explores the damaging impact that keeping secrets can have on people, especially those struggling to recover from the trauma of a scam.

The Trauma of Falling Victim to a Scam

Scams, whether they are romance scams, investment fraud (pig butchering scams,) phone scams, or phishing schemes, inflict significant emotional and financial damage on their victims. The trauma of falling victim to a scam is very underestimated both by victims and the public, as outsiders might perceive it as a simple financial setback, victims know the incredible pain shame, and guilt these crimes bring. However, the emotional toll is profound and can be just as debilitating as any other traumatic experience.

1. Emotional Impact: Scam victims often experience emotions such as shock, anger, embarrassment, and guilt. These emotions can be overwhelming, leading to depression, anxiety, complex grief, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
2. Financial Loss: The financial consequences of a scam can be devastating. Victims may lose their life savings, their homes, and their sense of financial security.
3. Relationship Strain: Scams can strain or even rupture relationships, especially in cases of romance scams. Victims may feel isolated and abandoned by those who were once close to them.
4. Loss of Trust: Scam victims often lose trust not only in scammers but in themselves. They may blame themselves for falling for the scam, further deepening the emotional turmoil.
5. Suicide: As many as 20 scam victims take their life a day because they can no longer shoulder the burden of these crimes – their impact and the secrets they carry.

Secrets: A Hidden Trauma Within Trauma

Keeping the victimhood a secret adds another layer of complexity to the trauma experienced by scam victims. These secrets, often born out of shame or fear, inflict substantial damage of their own – and prevent victims from achieving any real recovery:

1. Isolation: Keeping a scam victimhood a secret isolates individuals from their support networks. They are forced to bear the emotional burden alone, leading to feelings of isolation and loneliness. Victims may fear judgment or ridicule, causing them to withdraw from friends and family.
2. Suppression of Emotions: By keeping their experience hidden, victims may suppress their emotions, avoiding discussions and confrontations related to the scam. This emotional suppression can hinder the healing process, as acknowledgment and expression of feelings are essential for recovery.
3. Deepening Shame: The shame associated with falling for a scam is further intensified when victims keep their victimhood a secret. They may believe that disclosing their experience will only magnify their shame and humiliation, leading to an overwhelming sense of guilt. Of course, this is generally wrong.
4. Prolonged Recovery: Keeping the victimhood a secret can prolong the recovery process by months or year. Victims may struggle to come to terms with their experience, address their emotions, and seek the support they desperately need.
5. Increased Vulnerability: By not disclosing their victimhood, individuals remain vulnerable to further scams. Scammers may continue to target them, exploiting their isolation and emotional distress.
6. Death & Increased Injury: Victims often feel like they have no way out and that suicide is their only option. But even if they do not consider that option, the burden of secrecy can lead to anxiety and other disorders. It is essential to find a healthy way to let it go while working with professionals that have the victim’s best interests constantly in mind.

Breaking Free from the Burden of Secrecy

Recognizing the damage caused by keeping secrets is a critical step in the recovery process for scam victims. It is essential to acknowledge the trauma, both from the scam itself and from the burden of secrecy, and seek ways to break free from it:

1. Open Up to Trusted Individuals: Scam victims should reach out to individuals they trust, such as close friends or family members. Sharing the experience with supportive, non-judgmental people can help alleviate the emotional burden and reduce isolation.
2. Professional Help: Seeking the guidance of a mental health professional, such as a therapist or counselor, is vital. Professionals can provide tools and strategies to cope with trauma and assist in navigating the recovery process. You can find suitable trauma counselor or therapists here: counseling.AgainstScams.org
3. Support Groups: Many scam victims find solace and understanding in support groups specifically designed for scam victims. These groups create a safe space for individuals to share their experiences, emotions, and recovery journeys. But support groups only work if the victim can open up with other victims. To sign up for SCARS free, confidential, and professional support groups visit: support.AgainstScams.org
4. Legal Action: For some scam victims, pursuing legal action against scammers (and money mules) can be a way to regain control and seek justice. Legal professionals can guide victims through this process. Bankruptcy is another option for many victims and should be explored with a bankruptcy attorney.
5. Embracing Self-Compassion: It is essential for scam victims to practice self-compassion and self-forgiveness. Recognizing that falling victim to a scam does not define their worth is a crucial step in the healing process.
6. Raising Awareness: Speaking out about scams and victim experiences can be empowering. Scam victims who become advocates can help raise awareness and educate others, reducing the stigma associated with scam victimhood. However, victims need to work with an organization such as SCARS so they can make the best use of their time and learn what they need to be truly effective.

Remember

The trauma of falling victim to a scam is not limited to financial loss; it encompasses profound emotional and psychological damage. Keeping the victimhood a secret intensifies this trauma by isolating individuals, suppressing emotions, and deepening shame. Recognizing the damage caused by secrecy is essential for scam victims on the path to recovery.

Breaking free from the burden of secrecy requires opening up to trusted individuals, seeking professional help, and engaging with support groups. It also involves practicing self-compassion, embracing forgiveness, and becoming advocates for scam awareness. By shedding the secrecy and seeking support, scam victims can begin the journey toward healing and recovery, ultimately reclaiming their lives from the trauma of scams.

More:

• SCARS Webinar: Telling Your Story Part 2 – Telling Your Family & Friends – YouTube Video
• SCARS Webinar: Telling Your Story Part 1 – Telling The Police – YouTube Video
• Telling Your Story – Especially When It Is Hard [VIDEO] (romancescamsnow.com)
• The Unique Shame Of Being Scammed Again (romancescamsnow.com)
• Shame – Secrets & Lies (romancescamsnow.com)
• Guilt vs. Shame – Understanding [INFOGRAPHIC] (romancescamsnow.com)
• Letting Go Of The Scammers For Your Recovery! 2023 (romancescamsnow.com)
• Scam Survivor’s Guilt : A SCARS Insight (romancescamsnow.com)
• The New Trauma Responses Model (romancescamsnow.com)
• Do Scam Victims Become Cynics After Their Scam Experience? 2023 (scamsnow.com)
• Conformity & Romance Scams And How It Affects Scam Victims 2023 (scamsnow.com)
• Shifting Baseline Syndrome (SBS) And Scam Awareness (scamsnow.com)
• Relationship Scams And Their Impact On Memory (scamsnow.com)
• Contractualism and Supporting the Victims of Online Crime (scamsnow.com)
• A Temporoparietal Junction (RTPJ/LTPJ) Theory Of Relationship Scams (scamsnow.com)

SCARS Resources:

• For New Victims of Relationship Scams newvictim.AgainstScams.org
• Subscribe to SCARS Newsletter newsletter.againstscams.org
• Sign up for SCARS professional support & recovery groups, visit support.AgainstScams.org
• Find competent trauma counselors or therapists, visit counseling.AgainstScams.org
• Become a SCARS Member and get free counseling benefits, visit membership.AgainstScams.org
• Report each and every crime, learn how to at reporting.AgainstScams.org
• Learn more about Scams & Scammers at RomanceScamsNOW.com and ScamsNOW.com
• Global Cyber Alliance ACT Cybersecurity Tool Website: Actionable Cybersecurity Tools (ACT) (globalcyberalliance.org)
• Self-Help Books for Scam Victims are at shop.AgainstScams.org
• Donate to SCARS and help us help others at donate.AgainstScams.org
• Worldwide Crisis Hotlines: International Suicide Hotlines – OpenCounseling : OpenCounseling
• Campaign To End Scam Victim Blaming – 2024 (scamsnow.com)

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