When the Next Crisis Comes // Cuando Llegue la Próxima Crisis
by Vianey Gonzalez
Primary Category: Scam Victim Recovery – Editorial & Commentary
Intended Audience: Scam Victims-Survivors / Family & Friends
Author:
• Vianey Gonzalez B.Sc(Psych) – Licensed Psychologist Specialty in Crime Victim Trauma Therapy, Neuropsychologist, Certified Deception Professional, Psychology Advisory Panel & Director of the Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Inc.
About This Article in English
Experiencing a scam leaves lasting emotional scars, often resurfacing when new traumatic situations arise. Recovery is a long journey without a set timeline, influenced by personal resilience, environment, and available support. Despite significant progress, lingering effects remain, and certain events can trigger past memories as if they were happening again. A recent personal experience of aggression brought back intense feelings of vulnerability, fear, and anxiety, similar to those felt during the initial scam trauma. While self-awareness and coping strategies help in managing these emotions, it is crucial to recognize that healing is an ongoing process. Suppressing emotions can lead to unresolved wounds resurfacing, making it essential to acknowledge, process, and actively work through them. True recovery is achieved by recognizing, accepting, managing, and confronting emotions rather than ignoring them.
Resumen en Español:
Ser víctima de una estafa deja cicatrices emocionales profundas, que pueden resurgir ante nuevas experiencias traumáticas. La recuperación es un proceso largo y sin un tiempo definido, dependiendo de la capacidad personal, el entorno y el apoyo disponible. A pesar del progreso alcanzado, las secuelas pueden permanecer, y ciertos eventos pueden reactivar recuerdos como si fueran recientes. Un incidente de agresión reciente reavivó sentimientos intensos de vulnerabilidad, miedo y ansiedad, similares a los experimentados durante el trauma inicial de la estafa. Aunque la autoconciencia y las estrategias de afrontamiento ayudan a manejar estas emociones, es fundamental reconocer que la sanación es un proceso continuo. Suprimir los sentimientos puede hacer que las heridas no resueltas reaparezcan, por lo que es esencial reconocer, procesar y trabajar activamente en ellas. La verdadera recuperación se logra aceptando, gestionando y enfrentando las emociones en lugar de ignorarlas.
The Lasting Impact of a Scam
A Commentary by Vianey Gonzalez
En Español Más Abajo
Experiencing a scam is very difficult. The abuse, aggression, and everything that being a victim of fraud entails can leave deep and lasting emotional scars. When a person has suffered this type of trauma and faces a new aggression, whether similar or different, they often experience a series of intense and complex emotional reactions. These reactions can vary depending on the person and the severity of the initial trauma. Recovery is a long journey, and there is no set timeline—it depends on the individual, their environment, and the resources they have to navigate this difficult situation.
Progress and Lingering Consequences
It has been eight years since the scam happened. I have worked hard on my recovery. Every day, I feel that I have made progress, and I can confidently say that I feel good and focused on my present. However, something I have learned is that the consequences are still there, and small fissures remain that require continued attention. We learn to live with what happened, but certain situations can resurface memories as if they were happening in the present.
A Triggering Experience
Today, I had an incident where someone attacked me, and for a moment, I felt that same sense of vulnerability, even though I knew I had done the right thing. Feeling attacked brought back all those memories—memories of how I felt eight years ago when I was living through the shock of the scam. This incident triggered feelings of fear and anxiety, momentarily destabilizing me. It took me a few hours to recover and relax because this new aggression felt like a flashback, a re-experiencing of that nightmare, filled with intrusive thoughts and a renewed sense of insecurity.
Coping and Self-Awareness
Once I removed myself from the situation, I reminded myself that over these eight years, I have learned the importance of staying calm and making the best possible decision. In that moment, the best decision for me was to walk away. However, it is clear that the experience affected me. While I may feel like it is one of the last lingering consequences of the scam, I also know from experience that we sometimes deceive ourselves. Defense mechanisms can lead us to suppress or ignore what we truly feel, but those wounds will resurface sooner or later.
The Importance of Acknowledging and Managing Emotions
It is important to recognize that these reactions are normal and understandable. After experiencing trauma, it is essential to develop strategies that help process and face these emotions. The best way to achieve true recovery is by recognizing, accepting, managing, and confronting what we feel, rather than pushing it aside. Healing is an ongoing process, and each new challenge presents an opportunity to reinforce the progress already made.
El Impacto Duradero de una Estafa
Un comentario de Vianey González
Experimentar una estafa es algo muy difícil. Ser víctima de abuso, agresión y todo lo que implica el fraude puede dejar cicatrices emocionales profundas y duraderas. Cuando una persona ha sufrido este tipo de traumas y se enfrenta a una nueva agresión, ya sea similar o diferente, puede experimentar una serie de reacciones emocionales intensas y complejas. Estas reacciones pueden variar dependiendo de la persona y de la gravedad del trauma inicial. Siempre he dicho que el proceso de recuperación es un camino largo y que no hay un tiempo determinado para sanar. Todo depende de la persona, su entorno y los recursos que tenga para enfrentar esta situación difícil.
Avances en la Recuperación y Secuelas Persistentes
Han pasado ocho años desde la estafa. Trabajé mucho en mi recuperación y cada día siento que he avanzado. Actualmente puedo decir que me siento bien y muy enfocada en mi presente. Sin embargo, algo que he aprendido es que las secuelas siguen ahí y que hay pequeñas fisuras que debemos seguir trabajando. A pesar de que el tiempo ha pasado, ciertos eventos pueden hacernos revivir esas memorias como si fueran actuales.
Un Incidente que Desencadenó Recuerdos del Pasado
Hoy tuve un incidente con una persona que me agredió, y por un momento volví a sentir esa sensación de vulnerabilidad, a pesar de que sabía que había hecho lo correcto. Sentirme agredida desencadenó recuerdos de cómo me sentí hace ocho años, cuando vivía el shock de la estafa. Este episodio trajo consigo sentimientos de miedo y ansiedad, y de algún modo me hizo perder un poco la estabilidad. Recuperarme y relajarme me tomó varias horas, porque esta nueva agresión fue como un flashback, una reexperimentación de aquella pesadilla acompañada de pensamientos intrusivos y una renovada sensación de inseguridad.
Estrategias para Afrontar las Secuelas
Una vez que me alejé de la situación, recordé que después de ocho años he aprendido que debo mantener la calma y tratar de tomar la mejor decisión. En ese momento, la mejor decisión fue alejarme. Sin embargo, es evidente que esta experiencia me afectó y que es necesario seguir trabajando en ello. Tal vez pueda sentir que esto es lo último que queda de todas las secuelas que me dejó la estafa, pero por experiencia sé que a veces nos autoengañamos.
Los mecanismos de defensa pueden llevarnos a suprimir o ignorar lo que realmente sentimos, pero esto solo hace que esas heridas resurjan tarde o temprano. Es importante destacar que estas reacciones son normales, las reconozco y son comprensibles. Después de haber experimentado un trauma, definitivamente debo desarrollar estrategias que me ayuden a procesar todas estas emociones y enfrentarlas. La mejor manera de lograr una verdadera recuperación es reconociendo, aceptando, gestionando y enfrentando lo que sentimos.
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Important Information for New Scam Victims
- Please visit www.ScamVictimsSupport.org – a SCARS Website for New Scam Victims & Sextortion Victims
- SCARS Institute now offers a free recovery program at www.SCARSeducation.org
- Please visit www.ScamPsychology.org – to more fully understand the psychological concepts involved in scams and scam victim recovery
If you are looking for local trauma counselors please visit counseling.AgainstScams.org or join SCARS for our counseling/therapy benefit: membership.AgainstScams.org
If you need to speak with someone now, you can dial 988 or find phone numbers for crisis hotlines all around the world here: www.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines
A Question of Trust
At the SCARS Institute, we invite you to do your own research on the topics we speak about and publish, Our team investigates the subject being discussed, especially when it comes to understanding the scam victims-survivors experience. You can do Google searches but in many cases, you will have to wade through scientific papers and studies. However, remember that biases and perspectives matter and influence the outcome. Regardless, we encourage you to explore these topics as thoroughly as you can for your own awareness.
Statement About Victim Blaming
Some of our articles discuss various aspects of victims. This is both about better understanding victims (the science of victimology) and their behaviors and psychology. This helps us to educate victims/survivors about why these crimes happened and to not blame themselves, better develop recovery programs, and to help victims avoid scams in the future. At times this may sound like blaming the victim, but it does not blame scam victims, we are simply explaining the hows and whys of the experience victims have.
These articles, about the Psychology of Scams or Victim Psychology – meaning that all humans have psychological or cognitive characteristics in common that can either be exploited or work against us – help us all to understand the unique challenges victims face before, during, and after scams, fraud, or cybercrimes. These sometimes talk about some of the vulnerabilities the scammers exploit. Victims rarely have control of them or are even aware of them, until something like a scam happens and then they can learn how their mind works and how to overcome these mechanisms.
Articles like these help victims and others understand these processes and how to help prevent them from being exploited again or to help them recover more easily by understanding their post-scam behaviors. Learn more about the Psychology of Scams at www.ScamPsychology.org
SCARS Resources:
- Getting Started: ScamVictimsSupport.org
- FREE enrollment in the SCARS Institute training programs for scam victims SCARSeducation.org
- For New Victims of Relationship Scams newvictim.AgainstScams.org
- Subscribe to SCARS Newsletter newsletter.againstscams.org
- Sign up for SCARS professional support & recovery groups, visit support.AgainstScams.org
- Find competent trauma counselors or therapists, visit counseling.AgainstScams.org
- Become a SCARS Member and get free counseling benefits, visit membership.AgainstScams.org
- Report each and every crime, learn how to at reporting.AgainstScams.org
- Learn more about Scams & Scammers at RomanceScamsNOW.com and ScamsNOW.com
- Learn more about the Psychology of Scams and Scam Victims: ScamPsychology.org
- Self-Help Books for Scam Victims are at shop.AgainstScams.org
- Worldwide Crisis Hotlines: International Suicide Hotlines – OpenCounseling : OpenCounseling
- Campaign To End Scam Victim Blaming – 2024 (scamsnow.com)
Psychology Disclaimer:
All articles about psychology and the human brain on this website are for information & education only
The information provided in this and other SCARS articles are intended for educational and self-help purposes only and should not be construed as a substitute for professional therapy or counseling.
Note about Mindfulness: Mindfulness practices have the potential to create psychological distress for some individuals. Please consult a mental health professional or experienced meditation instructor for guidance should you encounter difficulties.
While any self-help techniques outlined herein may be beneficial for scam victims seeking to recover from their experience and move towards recovery, it is important to consult with a qualified mental health professional before initiating any course of action. Each individual’s experience and needs are unique, and what works for one person may not be suitable for another.
Additionally, any approach may not be appropriate for individuals with certain pre-existing mental health conditions or trauma histories. It is advisable to seek guidance from a licensed therapist or counselor who can provide personalized support, guidance, and treatment tailored to your specific needs.
If you are experiencing significant distress or emotional difficulties related to a scam or other traumatic event, please consult your doctor or mental health provider for appropriate care and support.
Also read our SCARS Institute Statement about Professional Care for Scam Victims – click here
If you are in crisis, feeling desperate, or in despair please call 988 or your local crisis hotline.
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