Fantasizing and the Dopamine Trap
How Fantasizing and Daydreaming Fuel the Scam Victim’s Dopamine Trap in Romance and Investment Scams: A Neurological Perspective
Primary Category: Psychology of Scams
Authors:
• Vianey Gonzalez B.Sc(Psych) – Psychologist, Certified Deception Professional, Psychology Advisory Panel & Director of the Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Inc.
• Tim McGuinness, Ph.D. – Anthropologist, Scientist, Director of the Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Inc.
About This Article
Fantasizing plays a crucial role in keeping scam victims trapped in a cycle of manipulation, largely due to its impact on the brain’s dopamine system. When victims daydream about the promised romantic relationship or financial windfall, their brains release dopamine, creating a sense of pleasure and reward. This neurological response tricks the brain into feeling satisfied, even though nothing tangible has been achieved.
Scammers exploit this mechanism by feeding their victims just enough hope to keep them emotionally invested, allowing the brain to continually release dopamine and deepen the victim’s attachment to the fantasy. Over time, this creates a feedback loop where victims become reliant on these fantasies for emotional satisfaction, making it harder for them to recognize the scam and break free.
The emotional high from fantasizing about the future can even delay real-world actions, such as reporting the scam or seeking help, further complicating recovery. Understanding this process is vital in helping victims recover by addressing the psychological and neurological factors that keep them trapped.
How Fantasizing and Daydreaming Fuel the Scam Victim’s Dopamine Trap in Romance and Investment Scams: A Neurological Perspective
Fantasizing and imagining future successes or relationships are natural human behaviors. In fact, our brains are wired to derive pleasure from envisioning potential outcomes, whether it’s a successful relationship, financial windfall, or career achievement. However, this process, while usually harmless, can be manipulated in harmful ways, especially in the context of scams. Romance scams, investment scams, and other forms of deceit often rely on a victim’s ability to dream about a better future, using the brain’s own reward system to control and entrap them.
The Role of Dopamine in Fantasizing
Dopamine, a neurotransmitter associated with pleasure, motivation, and reward, plays a key role in why fantasizing feels so good. When you imagine achieving something desirable—whether it’s finding true love or securing financial success—dopamine is released in the brain, creating feelings of happiness and satisfaction. The brain essentially rewards you for merely thinking about future possibilities. However, this can become problematic when these fantasies become a substitute for actual effort.
Studies have shown that when we visualize or talk about goals too much, the brain can release enough dopamine to provide a temporary sense of fulfillment—as if the goal has already been partially achieved. This can reduce your drive to take real, concrete steps toward that goal, making you feel satisfied with the imagined outcome instead of the real one. Essentially, your brain rewards you for daydreaming, which can hinder actual progress toward the goals you are fantasizing about.
Scammers Exploit This Biological Mechanism
Scammers, particularly in romance and investment scams, are keenly aware of how to exploit this neurological response. In a romance scam, for example, the scammer will create a scenario where the victim begins to imagine a future filled with love, companionship, and emotional fulfillment. The victim may start fantasizing about meeting their “perfect partner,” building a life together or even engaging in shared activities like travel or living together.
Similarly, in an investment scam, victims are encouraged to imagine how their lives will change with the financial rewards they are promised. The scammer might suggest what could be done with the newfound wealth—buying a dream home, quitting their job, or even donating to causes they care about. The victim’s brain then floods with dopamine as they fantasize about these scenarios.
This manipulation taps into the reward circuitry of the brain, keeping the victim emotionally invested without the need for concrete results. Victims may be so caught up in these fantasies that they become blind to red flags or warning signs. As long as the brain continues to provide them with positive reinforcement through dopamine, the victim remains trapped in the scam.
Why Fantasizing Makes It Harder to Break Free
Once a victim begins to rely on these fantasies for emotional satisfaction, it becomes increasingly difficult to break away from the scam. The brain becomes conditioned to expect dopamine rewards from fantasizing about the scam’s potential outcomes. Over time, this can create a feedback loop where the victim continues to engage with the scammer to keep those fantasies alive, and with each interaction, more dopamine is released.
The longer this cycle continues, the harder it becomes to confront the reality of the situation. When victims finally recognize they’ve been deceived, they often experience emotional and cognitive dissonance. The cognitive load of letting go of these fantasies and facing the truth can be overwhelming, resulting in feelings of shame, guilt, and regret, which only make it harder to disengage.
How Scammers Keep the Fantasy Alive
Scammers are skilled at keeping their victims in a perpetual state of fantasizing.
They do this by:
Drip-feeding hope: Scammers offer just enough progress or attention to keep the victim engaged. In romance scams, this might come in the form of messages about future plans, while in investment scams, it could be updates on how the “investment” is growing. These small nudges help sustain the fantasy without the need for actual proof.
Avoiding immediate fulfillment: Scammers avoid closing the deal too soon. Whether it’s meeting in person in a romance scam or receiving a payout in an investment scam, they stretch out the timeline, knowing that the longer they keep the victim fantasizing, the more invested they will become.
Feeding into the victim’s narrative: Scammers learn the victim’s desires and feed those exact fantasies back to them. Whether it’s about the ideal romantic partner or the dream of financial freedom, scammers build their story to match the victim’s dreams, deepening the emotional and cognitive investment.
The Fantasy Effect
The ‘fantasy effect’ significantly impacts a scam victim’s recovery, complicating the healing process in various ways. When a victim has been heavily engaged in fantasizing about a future filled with love or financial success, the collapse of these imagined realities upon discovering the scam can lead to severe emotional and psychological difficulties.
Emotional Disappointment and Grief
When a scam victim has spent weeks or even months imagining a romantic relationship or a future where they are wealthy and successful, the realization that these fantasies are false can feel like a profound loss. The brain, which was continually rewarded with dopamine during the fantasizing phase, suddenly faces a vacuum when the fantasy collapses. This can lead to grief, similar to losing a loved one or a cherished dream. The loss of imagined happiness is often just as painful as losing something tangible.
Cognitive Dissonance
Victims may experience cognitive dissonance—the psychological discomfort that arises when they realize their beliefs and fantasies were entirely false. Breaking away from these beliefs, which provided dopamine-driven satisfaction, can cause emotional confusion. Victims may feel embarrassment, shame, and self-blame, as they struggle to reconcile their earlier emotional investments with the cold reality that they were deceived. This inner conflict can prolong their recovery process as they grapple with accepting the truth.
Addiction to Fantasizing
Victims may have become so accustomed to the dopamine highs from fantasizing that, even after the scam is revealed, they may struggle to let go of their imagined future. Some may continue fantasizing, seeking other avenues for their imagination to keep the dopamine flow going. This cycle of continued fantasy can delay recovery because the victim remains attached to unrealistic outcomes rather than facing the necessary emotional healing.
Delayed Action and Healing
Because fantasizing can provide emotional satisfaction, it can hinder the victim’s ability to take real-world action to fix the problem or report the scam. The brain’s temporary relief from fantasizing makes it difficult to move forward, as the victim feels emotionally fulfilled by the daydreams. This delay in acknowledging the truth and seeking help can lead to financial losses or prolonged emotional distress.
Difficulty Rebuilding Trust
During recovery, scam victims need to rebuild trust—not only in others but also in themselves. However, the ‘fantasy effect’ can make this difficult. Victims may struggle to trust their own judgment, as they relied on those fantasies to feel secure. Rebuilding emotional and psychological resilience requires overcoming the mental dependence on these imagined scenarios, which can be a slow and challenging process.
The ‘fantasy effect’ plays a powerful role in prolonging the recovery of scam victims. By tapping into the brain’s dopamine response, these fantasies create an emotional attachment to an imagined future, making it harder for victims to break away from the scam, accept reality, and heal. Understanding this effect can help victims recognize how deeply their emotional response was manipulated, giving them the tools to move forward with recovery. Therapy and emotional support are crucial in helping victims detach from the fantasy and rebuild trust in both themselves and others.
The Psychological Toll of Breaking the Fantasy
When a scam victim eventually realizes the truth, the emotional fallout can be significant. Not only do they have to deal with the financial and emotional loss, but they also have to cope with the collapse of the fantasies they’ve been living in. The dopamine highs they experienced from daydreaming about love or wealth are replaced with intense feelings of shame, anger, and regret. This makes recovery difficult, as the brain has become conditioned to seek comfort in fantasies that are now impossible to achieve.
Victims may struggle with issues like:
Depression: The collapse of a long-standing fantasy can lead to feelings of emptiness and hopelessness.
Anxiety: Realizing they were manipulated can cause victims to question their judgment, leading to social anxiety and distrust of others.
Addiction to fantasizing: Some victims may find themselves continuing to fantasize even after the scam ends, as their brain seeks that dopamine hit from other imaginary scenarios.
Breaking the Cycle and Rebuilding
To help scam victims break free from this cycle, it’s important to focus on rebuilding both emotionally and cognitively. Some steps to regain control include:
Reframing goals: Helping victims create realistic, actionable goals rather than relying on fantasies can restore motivation and reduce reliance on imaginary outcomes.
Therapy: Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and counseling can help victims understand how they were manipulated and teach them how to spot these tactics in the future.
Gradual reconnection with reality: Encouraging victims to slowly rebuild relationships with family and friends can help anchor them in reality and reduce the pull of fantasy.
By understanding the neurological mechanisms behind fantasizing and how scammers use this to their advantage, victims can better recognize the traps they fell into and take steps to recover.
Revenge Fantasies
Fantasizing about revenge can provide a similar dopamine response as other types of fantasizing. When someone imagines getting revenge, especially against a scammer, it can activate the brain’s reward system, releasing dopamine. The brain interprets the visualization of achieving revenge or justice as a form of success or reward, which temporarily satisfies emotional needs like anger or frustration.
This is because dopamine isn’t just released for positive emotions like happiness or anticipation; it’s also tied to reward and goal achievement, including imagined victories or justice. When a scam victim fantasizes about revenge, their brain may briefly provide relief from the anger or helplessness they feel, similar to the satisfaction from fantasizing about wealth or romance.
However, just like with other forms of fantasizing, relying on these revenge daydreams can be problematic. It can offer a temporary emotional escape, delaying real-world action or coping strategies. If a victim becomes too focused on revenge fantasies, it will hinder their ability to heal and move forward, as they become trapped in an imaginary cycle of emotional release without resolving the actual trauma caused by the scam.
The Risks of Revenge Fantasies in Recovery
While revenge fantasies provide a short-term dopamine boost, they may prolong the emotional impact of the scam by keeping the victim focused on the negative experience. Instead of moving toward constructive recovery (e.g., reporting the scam, seeking therapy), the victim may remain emotionally tied to the scam and the scammer.
Conclusion
Fantasizing about revenge against scammers can give a similar dopamine response as other fantasies, offering temporary relief. However, it risks keeping victims emotionally engaged in the situation, which can slow down their overall recovery process. Seeking closure through real-world actions—such as contacting authorities or focusing on personal healing—can help victims move forward more effectively.
Conclusion
The act of fantasizing, while natural, can be exploited by scammers to keep victims trapped in a cycle of emotional and financial manipulation. By leveraging the brain’s dopamine response, scammers create a false sense of satisfaction that makes it difficult for victims to take real-world actions and break free. Understanding these neurological dynamics can be a crucial step in preventing scams and aiding in the recovery of victims who have been manipulated by their own desires and hopes.
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Some of our articles discuss various aspects of victims. This is both about better understanding victims (the science of victimology) and their behaviors and psychology. This helps us to educate victims/survivors about why these crimes happened and to not blame themselves, better develop recovery programs, and to help victims avoid scams in the future. At times this may sound like blaming the victim, but it does not blame scam victims, we are simply explaining the hows and whys of the experience victims have.
These articles, about the Psychology of Scams or Victim Psychology – meaning that all humans have psychological or cognitive characteristics in common that can either be exploited or work against us – help us all to understand the unique challenges victims face before, during, and after scams, fraud, or cybercrimes. These sometimes talk about some of the vulnerabilities the scammers exploit. Victims rarely have control of them or are even aware of them, until something like a scam happens and then they can learn how their mind works and how to overcome these mechanisms.
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