Understanding the Right Priorities – Another View of New Scam Victims’ Challenges
Many New/Recent Scam Victims do not yet Understand What Their Priorities should be After the End of Their Scam
Primary Category: Scam Victim Recovery Psychology
Author:
• Tim McGuinness, Ph.D. – Anthropologist, Scientist, Director of the Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Inc.
About This Article
New scam victims often struggle to prioritize the right steps for recovery, focusing on immediate financial fixes or managing surface emotions like anger or self-blame. However, this approach can overlook the deeper issue—profound trauma and cognitive impairment caused by the scam.
Emotional and psychological recovery should come first, as trauma affects the brain’s ability to think clearly, make decisions, and process information. Denial, resistance, and cognitive dissonance often prevent victims from acknowledging the full emotional impact of the scam.
Victims need to understand that recovery requires specialized help, such as support from counselors or trauma professionals, and that quick fixes won’t resolve the underlying issues.
By accepting the reality of trauma, seeking professional support, and focusing on long-term emotional healing, scam victims can regain control and prevent future harm.
Understanding the Right Priorities for New Scam Victims: A Guide to Overcoming Trauma and Cognitive Impairment
WARNING: THIS ARTICLE MAY BE TRIGGERING FOR SOME
Becoming Scam Victims
When someone becomes a victim of a scam, their first instinct is often to try to fix everything as quickly as possible. Many focus heavily on their finances, trying to undo the damage done, or they concentrate on emotional issues that feel more manageable, such as anger or self-blame. While these reactions are understandable, they can be compared to trying to fix a small cut on a finger while ignoring a large knife sticking out of their chest. The real, deeper issue—trauma from the scam—is often overlooked.
This tendency to focus on the wrong things is common, and it stems from a variety of factors: denial of what has really happened, ignorance about trauma, resistance to facing emotional pain, and even avoidance of the deeper emotional work that’s required. As a result, victims often miss the critical steps they need to take to truly heal and recover. It’s important to understand that scam victims, no matter how capable they are in other areas of life, are not experts in handling the unique trauma that comes from being deceived and betrayed.
Cognitive Impairment After a Scam and Its Impact on Decision-Making, Resistance, Unfounded Belief in Knowledge, and Truth Avoidance
One critical aspect of recovery that is often overlooked is the cognitive impairment that follows a scam. The psychological trauma caused by the betrayal can significantly affect brain function, leading to difficulty in thinking clearly, processing information, and making sound nonreactive decisions. It even affects scam victims’ ability to read and understand this article fully. This cognitive impairment can make scam victims feel confused, easily overwhelmed, emotionally reactive, and even paralyzed when faced with the need to make important decisions.
After experiencing a scam, many victims struggle with memory lapses, difficulty concentrating, or impaired judgment. This is because the brain’s natural response to trauma includes heightened activity in the amygdala (the part of the brain that processes emotions, particularly fear), which can override the prefrontal cortex, responsible for rational thinking and decision-making. The trauma hijacks the brain’s ability to process information logically, often leaving victims in a state of emotional overwhelm. As a result, they may make impulsive decisions or become indecisive, which can further complicate their recovery.
Avoiding Judgment and Avoiding Truth
Judgment often carries a significant negative connotation, especially in situations where someone is going through a difficult time, such as recovering from a scam. However, not all judgment is bad or toxic.
In fact, constructive judgment, delivered with care and absolute honesty, is an essential part of recovery for all scam victims.
It helps victims become accountable to themselves and others, encouraging personal growth and a deeper understanding of the decisions that may have led them into a vulnerable position. While victims should never be blamed for being scammed, as scammers are experts in deception, it’s important to recognize that personal responsibility and accountability are key to rebuilding trust in oneself and making better decisions in the future.
Sometimes, scam victims need to hear uncomfortable truths to confront the full reality of what happened. This type of judgment isn’t about blaming or shaming, but about guiding them to take responsibility for their actions moving forward and helping them to find a real pather to recovery.
Accountability allows victims to reflect on their behaviors, understand their emotional vulnerabilities, and make more informed decisions in the future. It empowers them to retake control of their life and to move forward into recovery, helping them regain confidence and avoid falling into similar traps again.
Constructive judgment, when used correctly, may still be hard to hear but it can be a catalyst for growth and healing, rather than a source of additional pain or guilt.
The First Step: Accept the Reality of Trauma
One of the hardest things for a new scam victim to do is accept that they have experienced trauma. Scams are not just about losing money or being in a fake relationship; they involve betrayal, manipulation, and a breach of trust, all of which cause deep emotional wounds. The first priority should be to recognize this trauma and understand that it requires attention and care, just like any other major physical injury.
Ignoring the trauma or downplaying/minimizing it by focusing only on finances or minor emotional issues won’t lead to recovery. The sooner victims accept that they are dealing with something bigger than just financial loss, the sooner they can start the real work of healing.
Acknowledge Denial, Resistance, and Cognitive Impairment
Many scam victims experience denial right after the realization that they’ve been deceived. It can be incredibly difficult to admit that someone took advantage of their trust or emotions. Denial may take the form of minimizing what happened, blaming themselves, or focusing on smaller, less painful aspects of the situation. This is a natural defense mechanism, but it can block healing if it goes unchecked.
At the same time, cognitive impairment caused by the emotional shock (cognitive dissonance) of being scammed makes clear decision-making difficult. When the brain is overwhelmed with fear, shame, or anger, scam victims can not fully realize that they aren’t thinking clearly. They may make hasty choices, such as trying to repair financial damage without a clear plan, or they may ignore the trauma altogether, hoping to avoid the deeper emotional work required.
Another issue is resistance. Some victims resist acknowledging the emotional impact because they don’t want to feel vulnerable. They may want to believe that they can handle everything on their own, or they may avoid facing the reality of their situation because it feels overwhelming. However, resisting the need for help and refusing to address the psychological wounds will only prolong or completely prevent the recovery process.
Understanding What Help Is Really Needed
Once victims accept that they’ve experienced trauma, they must recognize that they need specialized professional help to recover. If someone broke their leg, they would not simply put a bandaid on it, they would go to a real doctor!
Many believe that they can simply move on or “tough it out” without addressing the deeper psychological pain, but this approach rarely works. Scam victims are not experts in trauma recovery, and it’s essential to understand that recovering from the betrayal and psychological damage of a scam requires professional guidance from true expert support providers and mental healthcare professionals.
Victims need to not only seek help from trauma specialists, counselors, or competent support providers who understand the unique challenges of scam victimization but also to listen to them and trust their judgment. These professionals can help individuals work through their psychological pain, process the betrayal, and rebuild trust in themselves and others. Cognitive impairment will gradually improve as victims process the trauma, but this requires time, support, and patience.
Financial recovery is important, but psychological recovery is the foundation upon which everything else is built. Without addressing the psychological and emotional aspects of the experience, full healing is unlikely to happen.
Setting the Right Priorities
New scam victims need to focus on the following priorities to begin their healing journey:
- Address the Trauma and Cognitive Impairment First: Emotional and psychological recovery should be the top priority. Acknowledge the trauma and cognitive difficulties you may be experiencing, and seek professional help to process the emotions and improve decision-making.
- Don’t Try to Go It Alone: Scam victims often believe they can handle recovery on their own, but healing from this kind of trauma requires external support. Professional counselors, therapists, and support groups provide crucial guidance and help.
- Understand That You’re Not the Expert: Victims may believe that they know what’s best for them, but scam recovery involves complex emotional layers that most people are not equipped to handle on their own. Relying on experts is not a sign of weakness but of wisdom.
- Learning Reality: Learning why this happened, how it happened, and how scam victims can recover from it is the foundation of all support – scam victims must make sure that they are learning as much as possible throughout the recovery cycle to succeed – even if it is hard to read/hear – it does get easier as recovery continues.
- Avoid Quick Fixes: Rushing to fix financial issues or manage surface-level emotions can give a false sense of control since this doesn’t address the root of the problem. It’s essential to take time to heal fully, rather than seeking immediate fixes that only tackle minor aspects of the experience. Plus, while cognitive impairment is diminishing thought it is very difficult to find well-thought-out solutions to these problems.
- Prioritize Self-Compassion: Victims often feel shame, embarrassment, or guilt over being scammed. Self-blame is common, but it’s important to recognize that scammers are experts in manipulation and deception. Forgiving oneself and understanding that the scam was not the victim’s fault is key to emotional recovery. Resistance and avoidance are also a manifestation of this guilt and shame. Scam victims who feel shame, guilt, or self-blame, either because of the scam itself or because they are not doing what they need to do to properly recover often find themselves critical of those trying to help.
The Importance of Long-Term Healing
The betrayal trauma from a scam doesn’t just go away once the crime has been reported or the financial damage is addressed. Without proper attention to the psychological wounds and cognitive impairment, victims may continue to experience trust issues, anxiety, or even depression long after the scam. By focusing on the right priorities—healing from trauma, recovering cognitive clarity, and seeking professional help—victims can rebuild their lives and prevent long-term emotional and psychological harm to themselves and their relationships with others.
New scam victims need to understand that the betrayal they’ve experienced is real and significant. It’s not something that can be fixed by chasing justice, exposing scammers, managing money or ignoring emotional pain. Cognitive and cerebral impairment is a normal part of trauma, and recognizing its effects on each victim’s life, relationships, and worldview is critical.
Recovery is a process, and it takes time, patience, hard work, and the right kind of support. By setting the right priorities and accepting the help they need, victims can regain control of their lives and move forward with strength and rebuilt resilience.
Summary
For new scam victims, it’s easy to focus on the wrong things at first.
They may try to fix their finances or avoid facing the trauma altogether, but this only delays the healing process.
Cognitive impairment following the psychological shock of a scam complicates decision-making, making victims feel confused and overwhelmed.
The key is to recognize the emotional and psychological damage caused by the scam, seek professional help (support and therapy), and understand that recovery takes time.
Understand, that with very few exceptions scam victims are not experts in trauma recovery (though even psychologists are scammed), and they should never try to handle everything on their own. By addressing the trauma head-on, accepting help, and focusing on the right priorities, scam victims can truly heal and move forward.
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Important Information for New Scam Victims
- Please visit www.ScamVictimsSupport.org – a SCARS Website for New Scam Victims & Sextortion Victims
- SCARS Institute now offers a free recovery program at www.SCARSeducation.org
- Please visit www.ScamPsychology.org – to more fully understand the psychological concepts involved in scams and scam victim recovery
If you are looking for local trauma counselors please visit counseling.AgainstScams.org or join SCARS for our counseling/therapy benefit: membership.AgainstScams.org
If you need to speak with someone now, you can dial 988 or find phone numbers for crisis hotlines all around the world here: www.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines
A Note About Labeling!
We often use the term ‘scam victim’ in our articles, but this is a convenience to help those searching for information in search engines like Google. It is just a convenience and has no deeper meaning. If you have come through such an experience, YOU are a Survivor! It was not your fault. You are not alone! Axios!
This is but one component, one piece of the puzzle …
Understanding how the human mind is manipulated and controlled involves recognizing that the tactics employed by deceivers are multifaceted and complex. This information is just one aspect of a broader spectrum of vulnerabilities, tendencies, and techniques that permit us to be influenced and deceived. To grasp the full extent of how our minds can be influenced, it is essential to examine all the various processes and functions of our brains and minds, methods and strategies used the criminals, and our psychological tendencies (such as cognitive biases) that enable deception. Each part contributes to a larger puzzle, revealing how our perceptions and decisions can be subtly swayed. By appreciating the diverse ways in which manipulation occurs, we gain a more comprehensive understanding of the challenges we face in avoiding deception in its many forms.
“Thufir Hawat: Now, remember, the first step in avoiding a *trap* – is knowing of its existence.” — DUNE
“If you can fully understand your own mind, you can avoid any deception!” — Tim McGuinness, Ph.D.
“The essence of bravery is being without self-deception.” — Pema Chödrön
Statement About Victim Blaming
Some of our articles discuss various aspects of victims. This is both about better understanding victims (the science of victimology) and their behaviors and psychology. This helps us to educate victims/survivors about why these crimes happened and to not blame themselves, better develop recovery programs, and to help victims avoid scams in the future. At times this may sound like blaming the victim, but it does not blame scam victims, we are simply explaining the hows and whys of the experience victims have.
These articles, about the Psychology of Scams or Victim Psychology – meaning that all humans have psychological or cognitive characteristics in common that can either be exploited or work against us – help us all to understand the unique challenges victims face before, during, and after scams, fraud, or cybercrimes. These sometimes talk about some of the vulnerabilities the scammers exploit. Victims rarely have control of them or are even aware of them, until something like a scam happens and then they can learn how their mind works and how to overcome these mechanisms.
Articles like these help victims and others understand these processes and how to help prevent them from being exploited again or to help them recover more easily by understanding their post-scam behaviors. Learn more about the Psychology of Scams at www.ScamPsychology.org
SCARS Resources:
- Getting Started: ScamVictimsSupport.org
- FREE enrollment in the SCARS Institute training programs for scam victims SCARSeducation.org
- For New Victims of Relationship Scams newvictim.AgainstScams.org
- Subscribe to SCARS Newsletter newsletter.againstscams.org
- Sign up for SCARS professional support & recovery groups, visit support.AgainstScams.org
- Find competent trauma counselors or therapists, visit counseling.AgainstScams.org
- Become a SCARS Member and get free counseling benefits, visit membership.AgainstScams.org
- Report each and every crime, learn how to at reporting.AgainstScams.org
- Learn more about Scams & Scammers at RomanceScamsNOW.com and ScamsNOW.com
- Learn more about the Psychology of Scams and Scam Victims: ScamPsychology.org
- Self-Help Books for Scam Victims are at shop.AgainstScams.org
- Donate to SCARS and help us help others at donate.AgainstScams.org
- Worldwide Crisis Hotlines: International Suicide Hotlines – OpenCounseling : OpenCounseling
- Campaign To End Scam Victim Blaming – 2024 (scamsnow.com)
Psychology Disclaimer:
All articles about psychology and the human brain on this website are for information & education only
The information provided in this and other SCARS articles are intended for educational and self-help purposes only and should not be construed as a substitute for professional therapy or counseling.
Note about Mindfulness: Mindfulness practices have the potential to create psychological distress for some individuals. Please consult a mental health professional or experienced meditation instructor for guidance should you encounter difficulties.
While any self-help techniques outlined herein may be beneficial for scam victims seeking to recover from their experience and move towards recovery, it is important to consult with a qualified mental health professional before initiating any course of action. Each individual’s experience and needs are unique, and what works for one person may not be suitable for another.
Additionally, any approach may not be appropriate for individuals with certain pre-existing mental health conditions or trauma histories. It is advisable to seek guidance from a licensed therapist or counselor who can provide personalized support, guidance, and treatment tailored to your specific needs.
If you are experiencing significant distress or emotional difficulties related to a scam or other traumatic event, please consult your doctor or mental health provider for appropriate care and support.
If you are in crisis, feeling desperate, or in despair please call 988 or your local crisis hotline.
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