ScamsNOW!

The SCARS Institute Magazine about Scam Victims-Survivors, Scams, Fraud & Cybercrime

2025 SCARS Institute 11 Years of Service

Stockholm Syndrome – Getting Scam Victims To Break The Law

Understanding The Coercive Power Of Scam Manipulation And Control

Authors:
•  Vianey Gonzalez B.Sc(Psych) – Licensed Psychologist Specialty in Crime Victim Trauma Therapy, Neuropsychologist, Certified Deception Professional, Psychology Advisory Panel & Director of the Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Inc.
•  Tim McGuinness, Ph.D. – Anthropologist, Scientist, Director of the Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Inc.

Article Abstract

Romance scams, extend far beyond loss of trust and financial losses, often ensnaring victims in a web of emotional manipulation that can lead to criminal acts. Much like Stockholm syndrome, victims of romance scams experience intense psychological coercion, resulting in their coerced involvement in illegal activities for their fraudulent partners.

Scammers skillfully exploit vulnerabilities, gradually eroding victims’ judgment and fostering emotional dependence, blurring the line between genuine affection and manipulation. Victims, propelled by intense emotional attachment and misled by false promises, may unknowingly breach legal boundaries, from financial crimes to drug trafficking, at the behest of their online partners. Understanding the dynamics of manipulation in romance scams is crucial for providing support and intervention to help victims break free from the cycle of control and manipulation.

Stockholm Syndrome And The Dark Path of Romance Scams: How Victims Are Driven to Break the Law for Their Fraudulent Partners

In the scam victim’s world of romance scams, the emotional toll extends beyond financial loss. Victims, ensnared by cunning manipulators, can find themselves coerced into criminal activities. The deceptive web spun by these fraudsters often leads their targets down a perilous path, compelling them to cross legal boundaries in blind allegiance to their supposed romantic partners. They can lead to being a money mule to aid in money laundering (knowingly or unknowingly) or to other more significant crimes, such as embezzlement and theft.

Romance scams, often originating online, begin innocuously with charming conversations that swiftly deepen into seemingly genuine affection. However, behind these facades lie skilled manipulators who methodically groom their victims, gradually eroding their critical judgment and rational thinking.

Scam Victim Control Begins

As the emotional investment grows, so does the fraudster’s control over the victim’s emotions and decisions. These scammers deploy sophisticated psychological tactics, exploiting vulnerabilities and engendering an intense emotional dependency. Victims find themselves isolated, their sense of reality distorted by the fraudulent relationship.

The gradual erosion of boundaries leads to requests for financial assistance under various guises – medical emergencies, travel expenses, or investments. Victims, caught in the throes of emotional attachment, willingly oblige, often sacrificing their life savings or taking on significant debt to support their virtual partners.

In essence, scam victims will give away everything they have but in some cases they will go far beyond this and ‘knowingly’ break the law for their scammer controllers.

Stockholm Syndrome

Stockholm syndrome is a psychological phenomenon where hostages or victims develop a psychological bond with their captors or abusers. It’s named after a bank robbery in Stockholm, Sweden, where hostages developed empathy and positive feelings toward the perpetrators. This syndrome involves a complex interplay of fear, isolation, and a coping mechanism for survival. Typically, it is used in cases where there is or has been physical control of the victims.

In the context of romance scams, victims experience a similar level of psychological manipulation. Scammers employ various tactics, often over an extended period, to create emotional dependence and control over their victims. They begin by building rapport during the grooming stage, often portraying themselves as ideal romantic partners. Gradually, they enforce emotional control using techniques such as Amygdala Hijacks and isolate the victim from their social circle using Gaslighting, becoming their sole confidant and source of support.

These scammers instigate an intense emotional connection, fostering dependency and exploiting vulnerabilities. The victims, seeking emotional connection and validation, become deeply attached to the fraudster, blurring the lines between genuine affection and manipulation.

Similar to Stockholm syndrome, victims of romance scams often display defense mechanisms to cope with their situation. They may rationalize the scammer’s actions, defend their integrity, or refuse to acknowledge warning signs, clinging to the belief in the authenticity of the relationship.

Studies by researchers like Frank Ochberg and Mary Ann Dutton have explored the psychological mechanisms underlying Stockholm syndrome (see links below.) The trauma bond formed between victim and perpetrator involves a cycle of reward and punishment. Victims are intermittently subjected to both kindness and cruelty, reinforcing their dependence on the perpetrator. From a victim’s perspective it appears to be a highly manipulative romantic relationship, similar to what would be seen in relationships with a highly narcissistic partner – this is what victim usually describe as the red-flags they see.

In romance scams, the intermittent reinforcement of affection and promises from the scammer followed by requests for financial help or emotional manipulation mirrors this cycle. Victims become trapped, believing that complying with the scammer’s demands is necessary to maintain the relationship.

Understanding the dynamics of Stockholm syndrome in romance scams is crucial for providing support and intervention. Victims require empathy, support, and specialized assistance to break free from the emotional control exerted by the scammer. By recognizing these psychological mechanisms, authorities and support networks can offer victims the necessary tools and guidance for recovery and breaking free from the cycle of manipulation.

It is important to understand the distinction between ‘Stockholm Syndrome’ and what we at SCARS refer to as ‘Romance Scam Syndrome’ based upon our experience with over 9 million scam victims.

The Romance Scam Syndrome

The Slippery Slope of Deception

Romance scams typically unfold in stages, gradually eroding victims’ judgment and weaving a web of dependence. Scammers, posing as charming and devoted partners, bombard victims with affection (in the form of ‘love bombs’ or amygdala hijacks,) flattery, and promises of a future together. This emotional investment creates an incredibly powerful bond regardless of if the victim wanted it or not, making victims increasingly susceptible to the scammer’s requests.

The initial requests might seem harmless – perhaps transferring small sums of money for a child’s birthday present, temporary hardship, or sending personal documents for immigration paperwork, or some other purpose. Over time, however, the requests escalate. Victims, fearing the loss of their “soulmate,” might be coerced into:

  • Financial crimes: ‘Borrowing’ or stealing from family, friends, or employers to funnel cash to the scammer.
  • Identity theft: Providing stolen IDs or passports to facilitate the scammer’s activities.
  • Drug trafficking: Smuggling narcotics for the scammer’s “business ventures.” This was the case for our SCARS Board Member Sharron Armstrong.
  • Cybercrimes: Participating in illegal money laundering schemes.

Manipulation Tactics at Play

This descent into criminality is almost never conscious. Scammers employ a potent arsenal of manipulation tactics to maintain control and exploit their victimsvulnerabilities.

  • Isolation: Cutting victims off from family and friends, making them reliant on the scammer for emotional support.
  • Gaslighting: Distorting reality and invalidating victims’ concerns, making them question their own judgment.
  • Threats and Intimidation: Fear tactics, including threats of physical harm or exposure of secrets, keep victims compliant.
  • Withholding Love: Scammers use shaming techniques to keep the victim focused on the importance of the relationship and obtaining deeper and deeper commitment from the victim.
  • Love Bombing (Amygdala Hijacks): Intense affection followed by emotional withdrawal, creating a cycle of dependence and fear of losing the scammer’s “love.”

Scam Victims Breaking the Law

However, the manipulation doesn’t stop at monetary exploitation. In a harrowing twist, fraudsters may pressure their victims into committing unlawful acts, leveraging emotional coercion and psychological control. Victims, blinded by their affection and misled by false promises, are enticed into activities that breach legal and ethical boundaries.

These requests can range from fraudulent financial transactions to more severe offenses like money laundering or embezzlement. Scammers cunningly exploit their victim’s trust and emotional vulnerability to manipulate them into circumventing the law on their behalf.

The tragic case of Sharon Ann Schmalzriedt from Wabasha, Minnesota, serves as a poignant example. Engaged in a romance scam, she allegedly embezzled over $3.75 million from a business and exploited a vulnerable adult, succumbing to the demands of an online paramour named Erik Lockwood. Driven by a deceptive relationship and a promise of repayment, Schmalzriedt, a trusted bookkeeper, funneled funds to Lockwood, betraying both the business’s trust and the vulnerable adult’s welfare. But there have been others (see links below in the MORE section.)

The Romance Scam Syndrome Effects

Victims of romance scams often face a complex array of emotions, oscillating between denial, shame, and loyalty to their fraudulent partners. The perpetrators, adept at exploiting these sentiments, wield them as weapons to manipulate their targets into unlawful actions, pushing them to the brink of criminality.

To counter such insidious schemes, awareness and education play pivotal roles. Empowering individuals with knowledge about the red flags and tactics used in romance scams can prevent them from falling prey to manipulative ploys. Establishing open dialogues and support networks can provide victims with the necessary resources to recognize coercion and seek help before succumbing to criminal demands.

Furthermore, law enforcement and support agencies must adopt nuanced approaches, focusing not just on penalizing victims who fall prey to manipulative tactics but also on offering guidance to support services such as those offered by SCARS and others (see support.AgainstScams.org.) Acknowledging the psychological entrapment victims face is crucial in providing effective interventions.

Breaking the Cycle of Control

The path to recovery for victims entangled in these dark relationships is long and arduous. Shame, self-blame, and fear of legal repercussions often keep them silent. However, seeking help is crucial. Resources like SCARS victim support groups, therapists specializing in trauma, legal aid organizations can offer guidance and legal assistance.

Here are some essential steps for victims and potential targets:

  • Recognize the Signs: Be wary of online love interests who demand money, favors, or personal information quickly.
  • Maintain Skepticism: Verify information, research online profiles, and share doubts with trusted individuals.
  • Set Boundaries: Refuse unreasonable requests and prioritize your own safety and well-being.
  • Seek Support: Don’t hesitate to reach out to friends, family, or professional help if you feel manipulated or pressured.
  • Seek Legal Advice: Remember that law enforcement is not there to give you legal advice, they are there to enforce the law. Victim who may have broken the law should get legal advice from a legal aid organization or a licensed attorney. But in all case, the victim must report the crime to the police to declare their innocence.

Romance scams are a stark reminder that love, unfortunately, can be weaponized. By understanding the manipulative tactics at play and recognizing the potential pitfalls, victims can better protect themselves and break free from the bonds of deception and escape the cycle of criminality.

Summary

Remember, the underbelly of romance scams goes far beyond monetary exploitation.

True love doesn’t demand sacrifices that violate your boundaries or lead you down a dark path. Potential or actual scam victims need to protect their heart and freedom, and never let online promises cloud their judgment in the face of real-world risks.

Victims, ensnared in these deceitful relationships, can find themselves coerced into illegal activities due to emotional manipulation and control. By fostering awareness, support networks, and compassionate interventions, they can combat this multifaceted scourge, offering victims a chance at recovery and justice.

SCARS Resources:

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Important Information for New Scam Victims

Please visit www.ScamVictimsSupport.org – a SCARS Website for New Scam Victims & Sextortion Victims
SCARS Institute now offers a free recovery program at www.SCARSeducation.org
Please visit www.ScamPsychology.org – to more fully understand the psychological concepts involved in scams and scam victim recovery

If you are looking for local trauma counselors, please visit counseling.AgainstScams.org

If you need to speak with someone now, you can dial 988 or find phone numbers for crisis hotlines all around the world here: www.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines

Statement About Victim Blaming

Some of our articles discuss various aspects of victims. This is both about better understanding victims (the science of victimology) and their behaviors and psychology. This helps us to educate victims/survivors about why these crimes happened and not to blame themselves, better develop recovery programs, and help victims avoid scams in the future. At times, this may sound like blaming the victim, but it does not blame scam victims; we are simply explaining the hows and whys of the experience victims have.

These articles, about the Psychology of Scams or Victim Psychology – meaning that all humans have psychological or cognitive characteristics in common that can either be exploited or work against us – help us all to understand the unique challenges victims face before, during, and after scams, fraud, or cybercrimes. These sometimes talk about some of the vulnerabilities the scammers exploit. Victims rarely have control of them or are even aware of them, until something like a scam happens, and then they can learn how their mind works and how to overcome these mechanisms.

Articles like these help victims and others understand these processes and how to help prevent them from being exploited again or to help them recover more easily by understanding their post-scam behaviors. Learn more about the Psychology of Scams at www.ScamPsychology.org

SCARS INSTITUTE RESOURCES:

IF YOU HAVE BEEN VICTIMIZED BY A SCAM OR CYBERCRIME

♦ If you are a victim of scams, go to www.ScamVictimsSupport.org for real knowledge and help

♦ Enroll in SCARS Scam Survivor’s School now at www.SCARSeducation.org

♦ To report criminals, visit https://reporting.AgainstScams.org – we will NEVER give your data to money recovery companies like some do!

♦ Sign up for our free support & recovery help by https://support.AgainstScams.org

♦ Join our WhatsApp Chat Group at: https://chat.whatsapp.com/BPDSYlkdHBbDBg8gfTGb02

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♦ Follow us and find our podcasts, webinars, and helpful videos on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@RomancescamsNowcom

♦ SCARS Institute Songs for Victim-Survivors: https://www.youtube.com/playlist…

♦ See SCARS Institute Scam Victim Self-Help Books at https://shop.AgainstScams.org

♦ Learn about the Psychology of Scams at www.ScamPsychology.org

♦ Dig deeper into the reality of scams, fraud, and cybercrime at www.ScamsNOW.com and www.RomanceScamsNOW.com

♦ Scam Survivor’s Stories: www.ScamSurvivorStories.org

♦ For Scam Victim Advocates visit www.ScamVictimsAdvocates.org

♦ See more scammer photos on www.ScammerPhotos.com

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Psychology Disclaimer:

All articles about psychology and the human brain on this website are for information & education only

The information provided in this and other SCARS articles are intended for educational and self-help purposes only and should not be construed as a substitute for professional therapy or counseling.

Note about Mindfulness: Mindfulness practices have the potential to create psychological distress for some individuals. Please consult a mental health professional or experienced meditation instructor for guidance should you encounter difficulties.

While any self-help techniques outlined herein may be beneficial for scam victims seeking to recover from their experience and move towards recovery, it is important to consult with a qualified mental health professional before initiating any course of action. Each individual’s experience and needs are unique, and what works for one person may not be suitable for another.

Additionally, any approach may not be appropriate for individuals with certain pre-existing mental health conditions or trauma histories. It is advisable to seek guidance from a licensed therapist or counselor who can provide personalized support, guidance, and treatment tailored to your specific needs.

If you are experiencing significant distress or emotional difficulties related to a scam or other traumatic event, please consult your doctor or mental health provider for appropriate care and support.

Also read our SCARS Institute Statement about Professional Care for Scam Victims – click here

If you are in crisis, feeling desperate, or in despair, please call 988 or your local crisis hotline.

A Question of Trust

At the SCARS Institute, we invite you to do your own research on the topics we speak about and publish. Our team investigates the subject being discussed, especially when it comes to understanding the scam victims-survivors’ experience. You can do Google searches, but in many cases, you will have to wade through scientific papers and studies. However, remember that biases and perspectives matter and influence the outcome. Regardless, we encourage you to explore these topics as thoroughly as you can for your own awareness.

6 Comments

  1. Lynn April 15, 2025 at 4:25 pm - Reply

    Another great article that breaks down how you lose control at the hands of the criminals. I so wish I had read this over a year ago. The manipulation, gaslighting and false promises all kept me going back to my bank to send another wire of money, until it was all gone. Then they convinced me to take out loans. I did. All the while scratching at the promise that the next payment would unlock the fake account they had me set up (with $1.5 m they supposedly deposited into it) and I’d be able to take back what I’d spent with some interest.

    This article should be posted everywhere online and shared in all Police Department offices to help educate all about how these criminals operate.

  2. Wendy Guiher February 9, 2025 at 12:46 pm - Reply

    This article is the reason education of the public has to progress starting with the elderly. Unfortunately, their fear of technology makes them very vulnerable.

    The description of the Romance Scam Syndrome is exactly what happened to me. They groomed me with hours of love bombing, they bullied me, they withheld love. All of it. And when I was able to focus again and begin resistance they tried to get me to comply with cryptocurrency. When I resisted that they then said they had a perfectly LEGAL method I could “help him with” (it was always helping him, or when bullied Didn’t I want to help him?) I’m only using the pronoun to type the conversation. That was when it was proposed that I could help “them” realize the huge gain earned in cryptocurrency values skyrocketing right after November’s election. The carrot dangled had always been that “we” would be together if “they” could just get away from “their” corrupt management team. It was proposed that I register a Limited Liability Corporation in my state and obtain a business checking account. “Don’t worry, this is perfectly legal according to my attorney who is from your state”. Yeah! And I have swampland for sale in Florida too! Everything in the description for the romance scam syndrome happened to me. I wish I knew SCARS existed long ago. But how could I know, I had never been through a scam before. Prior to 2024 I thought scams were exclusive to roofing or siding scams. I was woefully uneducated in this area.

  3. Corey Gale August 14, 2024 at 11:01 am - Reply

    My pig butcher was able to convince me to take on additional debt. Something I had worked decades to eliminate. The only crime I committed was against myself.

  4. ron August 9, 2024 at 3:28 pm - Reply

    interesting syndrome, I can see some of these patterns occurred in my PB scam

  5. Carmen Rivera January 8, 2024 at 3:29 pm - Reply

    Excellent article everyone should read. I wish I had this information a year ago. Thankfully I found the right path thru SCARS

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