Trauma Pleasing and Appeasing – The Impact on Identity and Self Worth – 2024

Trauma Pleasing and Appeasing – The Impact on Identity and Self-Worth

Helping Scam Victims Understand One of the Trauma Responses that Can Contribute to Vulnerability to Scams

Primary Category: Scam Victim Recovery Psychology

Author:
• Tim McGuinness, Ph.D. – Anthropologist, Scientist, Director of the Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Inc.

About This Article

Trauma can significantly alter an individual’s behavior, leading to patterns of pleasing and appeasing others as a way to avoid conflict, feel safe, or prevent further harm. These behaviors often become deeply ingrained, making it difficult for trauma survivors to recognize their authentic identity. Scam victims are especially vulnerable to this cycle, as feelings of guilt and shame may drive them to seek external validation.

However, trauma can have the opposite effect as well, leading to overassertiveness, hyper-independence, or emotional withdrawal as self-protection mechanisms. Understanding these dynamics is critical for trauma recovery. By building self-awareness, victims can identify maladaptive behaviors, set boundaries, and ultimately rebuild their sense of self. Through support and conscious effort, they can break free from these patterns and foster emotional resilience.

Trauma Responses or Just Personality Traits in Scam Victims?

Many of the So-Called Personality Traits that Can Become Vulnerabilities in a Scam are Not Personality Traits, they are the Remnants of Past Traumas

Primary Category: Scam Victim Recovery Psychology

Authors:
• Vianey Gonzalez B.Sc(Psych) – Psychologist, Certified Deception Professional, Psychology Advisory Panel & Director of the Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Inc.
• Tim McGuinness, Ph.D. – Anthropologist, Scientist, Director of the Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Inc.

About This Article

Many people unknowingly mistake trauma responses for aspects of their personality, not realizing that behaviors like chronic over-apologizing, people-pleasing, or inability to accept compliments are coping mechanisms rooted in past emotional pain. These responses often develop in reaction to trauma, where the brain adapts to perceived danger or emotional harm.

For scam victims, recognizing these behaviors as trauma responses rather than personality traits is crucial for recovery. It allows them to confront core issues such as mistrust or a need for validation, empowering them to rebuild boundaries and self-confidence.

Trauma Responses