The Joy That Refuses to Die: How Scam Victims Can Reclaim Life Through Small, Ordinary Moments
The Quiet Joy That Survives Betrayal: Finding Light in Small Things After a Scam
Primary Category: Scam Victim Recovery Philosophy
Intended Audience: Scam Victims-Survivors / Family & Friends
Authors:
• Vianey Gonzalez B.Sc(Psych) – Licensed Psychologist Specialty in Crime Victim Trauma Therapy, Neuropsychologist, Certified Deception Professional, Psychology Advisory Panel & Director of the Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Inc.
• Tim McGuinness, Ph.D. – Anthropologist, Scientist, Director of the Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Inc.
About This Article
When life has been shattered by a scam, the idea of joy may feel distant or even insulting. But as Albert Camus observed, even in the face of absurdity and suffering, the human spirit retains the power to rebel—not with rage, but with tenderness toward life. Scam victims often find that the big things—trust, safety, financial stability—have collapsed. What remains are the smallest fragments: a warm cup of coffee, the quiet of early morning, a kind word from a stranger. These moments can feel insignificant, but they are, in fact, the foundations of resilience.
Joy does not erase pain; it exists alongside it, like a candle refusing to go out in a dark room. Drawing on Camus’ philosophy, this article explores how scam victims can learn to see and savor the ordinary again. It offers both perspective and practice—showing how noticing what remains, reconnecting with the senses, and engaging in mindful rituals can begin to stitch a life back together. You don’t have to feel joyful to start. But if you begin with noticing, you may slowly discover that joy has been waiting—not in grand revelations, but in life’s smallest, most loyal offerings.
The Quiet Joy That Survives Betrayal: Finding Light in Small Things After a Scam
When you’ve been scammed, joy can feel like a distant memory—something reserved for people whose lives haven’t been upended, whose trust hasn’t been shattered, whose inner world hasn’t been cracked open by betrayal. The aftermath of a scam is rarely just about money. It’s about grief, shame, fear, and isolation. And yet, it is precisely in these moments—when the big things seem broken beyond repair—that finding joy in the small, ordinary things becomes not only possible but necessary.
This is not about pretending everything is fine. It’s about discovering that not everything is lost.
Albert Camus, the French-Algerian philosopher best known for his work on absurdism and existential resilience, once wrote: “In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer.” That idea—that even when life feels cold and senseless, some quiet strength remains—resonates deeply for those trying to recover from trauma. Camus didn’t deny the pain or absurdity of life. He simply insisted that meaning and joy could still be created in the face of it.
Why Joy Feels Impossible After a Scam
When you’ve been defrauded—emotionally, financially, or both—your mind tends to go into survival mode. Your nervous system is overloaded. Your thoughts loop through blame, shock, or numbness. There is often a collapse of the basic trust that the world is safe, that people are mostly good, or that you are in control of your choices.
In this mental space, joy can seem frivolous, unreachable, or even inappropriate. You may feel like you’re not allowed to feel joy—not after what happened, not with so much pain still unresolved.
But Camus challenges that assumption. He writes in The Myth of Sisyphus, “The struggle itself…is enough to fill a man’s heart. One must imagine Sisyphus happy.” In other words, even in futile circumstances, even when life doesn’t make sense, even when the boulder rolls back down the hill—you can still find meaning and joy in the act of continuing.
Not because it erases the pain, but because it affirms that you are still here. Still alive. Still able to notice, feel, and choose.
The Value of Small Joys
In times of crisis, your brain often wants large, sweeping answers. You want justice, closure, or some meaningful explanation that makes the suffering worthwhile. But life rarely delivers that. Instead, what keeps people going—especially in trauma recovery—is the ability to engage with small joys. These aren’t distractions. They are anchoring points.
A warm cup of coffee on a cold morning. The feel of sunlight on your skin. A dog wagging its tail. A favorite song playing on the radio. These are not consolation prizes. These are signals that your senses still work, that the world still holds beauty, that you are not entirely disconnected from life.
Camus called this rebellion—the quiet refusal to let despair define your reality. “To live is to rebel,” he wrote, not in the sense of anger, but in the sense of continuing to choose life even when it seems pointless. Joy, then, becomes a form of rebellion. A way to insist: this moment still belongs to me.
Joy Is Not a Cure, but It Is a Companion
It’s important not to turn joy into another pressure. You do not have to “cheer up” or force yourself to be grateful. That’s not what this is about. This is about noticing. It’s about allowing joy to coexist with grief and trauma, not replace them.
Camus saw happiness not as a destination, but as something that arises from engagement with life itself—even flawed, painful life. “Real generosity toward the future lies in giving all to the present,” he said. The present is where joy lives. Not in what happened. Not in what might happen. But in what you can see, feel, or do right now.
Practical Ways to Reconnect with Joy After a Scam
If you’re a scam victim trying to find your footing, consider the following steps. They are not meant to fix everything—but they can help you reconnect with your ability to feel alive, even in sorrow.
1. Create a small, daily ritual. Start your day with a routine that’s just for you. It can be as simple as lighting a candle, stretching for five minutes, or sitting quietly with a cup of tea. Rituals ground you. They tell your nervous system: you are safe right now.
2. Look for beauty on purpose. Go for a short walk, even if it’s just around your block. Instead of focusing on your thoughts, look around. Notice color, texture, light. Camus found beauty in the most ordinary things—the sea, the sky, a bowl of fruit. Beauty doesn’t solve pain, but it reminds you that the world still holds wonder.
3. Keep a joy journal. Each evening, write down one thing that gave you a moment of peace, pleasure, or comfort. It might feel silly at first—but over time, these entries become proof that joy didn’t disappear. It just got quieter.
4. Let laughter in. Watch a comedy you love. Talk to someone who makes you smile. Humor is not disrespectful to your pain. In fact, it’s often a sign of your mind trying to rebalance itself.
5. Touch something real. We spend so much time in our heads after trauma. Touch can pull you back into your body. Run your hands under warm water. Hold a smooth stone. Pet a dog. Joy often returns through the senses before it reaches the mind.
6. Allow yourself to want something small. Buy a plant. Start a puzzle. Plan a tiny trip to a place nearby. Wanting things again is part of recovery. Let it happen without guilt.
7. Notice when joy shows up—then let it stay. Don’t rush past the good moments. If you laugh, pause and feel it. If you enjoy your coffee, linger for an extra minute. These are the fibers of a life being rewoven.
You Are Still Capable of Joy
Camus reminds us that the absurdity of life does not rob it of value. If anything, it makes joy more urgent, more meaningful, more real. You don’t have to wait until you’ve “healed” to feel joy. You don’t have to earn it. You just have to be open to noticing it.
Joy after trauma is not about triumph. It’s about participation. About showing up to life even when it feels uneven, cracked, or unclear. About realizing that you are not only what was done to you—you are also what you choose to see, hold, and nurture now.
You don’t have to chase joy. But you can invite it. And when it comes—quiet, small, unexpected—let it remind you: you’re still here. And there is still beauty worth noticing.
Conclusion
After experiencing the trauma of a scam, many victims feel emotionally paralyzed, caught between shame, grief, and disbelief. It’s easy to assume that joy is no longer available—at least not until the pain goes away. But Albert Camus, a philosopher who lived through war, loss, and philosophical despair, offers another perspective. He believed that even in the face of absurdity and suffering, it is still possible—and vital—to find joy in life’s ordinary moments. His words remind us that happiness does not wait for ideal circumstances. Instead, it begins wherever we choose to be present. Through small rituals, sensory grounding, and gentle self-care, scam victims can begin to rediscover their capacity for joy—not as a form of denial, but as a form of survival. When big things fall apart, the small things still hold power. A breeze, a laugh, a sip of coffee—these become acts of quiet defiance against despair. And in these moments, joy becomes not just a feeling but a decision: the decision to stay present, stay alive, and keep noticing the beauty that remains.
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Important Information for New Scam Victims
- Please visit www.ScamVictimsSupport.org – a SCARS Website for New Scam Victims & Sextortion Victims
- SCARS Institute now offers a free recovery program at www.SCARSeducation.org
- Please visit www.ScamPsychology.org – to more fully understand the psychological concepts involved in scams and scam victim recovery
If you are looking for local trauma counselors please visit counseling.AgainstScams.org or join SCARS for our counseling/therapy benefit: membership.AgainstScams.org
If you need to speak with someone now, you can dial 988 or find phone numbers for crisis hotlines all around the world here: www.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines
A Question of Trust
At the SCARS Institute, we invite you to do your own research on the topics we speak about and publish, Our team investigates the subject being discussed, especially when it comes to understanding the scam victims-survivors experience. You can do Google searches but in many cases, you will have to wade through scientific papers and studies. However, remember that biases and perspectives matter and influence the outcome. Regardless, we encourage you to explore these topics as thoroughly as you can for your own awareness.
Statement About Victim Blaming
Some of our articles discuss various aspects of victims. This is both about better understanding victims (the science of victimology) and their behaviors and psychology. This helps us to educate victims/survivors about why these crimes happened and to not blame themselves, better develop recovery programs, and to help victims avoid scams in the future. At times this may sound like blaming the victim, but it does not blame scam victims, we are simply explaining the hows and whys of the experience victims have.
These articles, about the Psychology of Scams or Victim Psychology – meaning that all humans have psychological or cognitive characteristics in common that can either be exploited or work against us – help us all to understand the unique challenges victims face before, during, and after scams, fraud, or cybercrimes. These sometimes talk about some of the vulnerabilities the scammers exploit. Victims rarely have control of them or are even aware of them, until something like a scam happens and then they can learn how their mind works and how to overcome these mechanisms.
Articles like these help victims and others understand these processes and how to help prevent them from being exploited again or to help them recover more easily by understanding their post-scam behaviors. Learn more about the Psychology of Scams at www.ScamPsychology.org
SCARS Resources:
- Getting Started: ScamVictimsSupport.org
- FREE enrollment in the SCARS Institute training programs for scam victims SCARSeducation.org
- For New Victims of Relationship Scams newvictim.AgainstScams.org
- Subscribe to SCARS Newsletter newsletter.againstscams.org
- Sign up for SCARS professional support & recovery groups, visit support.AgainstScams.org
- Find competent trauma counselors or therapists, visit counseling.AgainstScams.org
- Become a SCARS Member and get free counseling benefits, visit membership.AgainstScams.org
- Report each and every crime, learn how to at reporting.AgainstScams.org
- Learn more about Scams & Scammers at RomanceScamsNOW.com and ScamsNOW.com
- Learn more about the Psychology of Scams and Scam Victims: ScamPsychology.org
- Self-Help Books for Scam Victims are at shop.AgainstScams.org
- Worldwide Crisis Hotlines: International Suicide Hotlines – OpenCounseling : OpenCounseling
- Campaign To End Scam Victim Blaming – 2024 (scamsnow.com)
Psychology Disclaimer:
All articles about psychology and the human brain on this website are for information & education only
The information provided in this and other SCARS articles are intended for educational and self-help purposes only and should not be construed as a substitute for professional therapy or counseling.
Note about Mindfulness: Mindfulness practices have the potential to create psychological distress for some individuals. Please consult a mental health professional or experienced meditation instructor for guidance should you encounter difficulties.
While any self-help techniques outlined herein may be beneficial for scam victims seeking to recover from their experience and move towards recovery, it is important to consult with a qualified mental health professional before initiating any course of action. Each individual’s experience and needs are unique, and what works for one person may not be suitable for another.
Additionally, any approach may not be appropriate for individuals with certain pre-existing mental health conditions or trauma histories. It is advisable to seek guidance from a licensed therapist or counselor who can provide personalized support, guidance, and treatment tailored to your specific needs.
If you are experiencing significant distress or emotional difficulties related to a scam or other traumatic event, please consult your doctor or mental health provider for appropriate care and support.
Also read our SCARS Institute Statement about Professional Care for Scam Victims – click here
If you are in crisis, feeling desperate, or in despair please call 988 or your local crisis hotline.
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