SCARS Institute 2025 Perspective on Volunteering to Help Scam Victims
A SCARS Institute Volunteer’s Guide to Leading Scam Victims Through Recovery Without Falling into Savior Syndrome
Primary Category: Advocacy & Policy
Intended Audience: Scam Victims-Survivors / Family & Friends / General Public / Others
Authors:
• Vianey Gonzalez B.Sc(Psych) – Licensed Psychologist Specialty in Crime Victim Trauma Therapy, Neuropsychologist, Certified Deception Professional, Psychology Advisory Panel & Director of the Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Inc.
• Tim McGuinness, Ph.D. – Anthropologist, Scientist, Director of the Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Inc.
About This Article
Volunteering to guide scam victims through recovery is a profoundly impactful role, but it requires careful balance and adherence to ethical principles. Volunteers must understand that they are guides, not saviors, and that their role is to empower victims by connecting them to resources and fostering independence, rather than solving problems for them.
By maintaining clear boundaries, promoting transparency, and respecting the victim’s autonomy, volunteers can avoid pitfalls such as savior syndrome or overstepping their expertise. Awareness of the risks victims face—including future scams, domestic abuse, and emotional crises—ensures that support is both compassionate and practical. Volunteers must also care for their own well-being, recognizing signs of burnout or vicarious trauma and stepping back when needed.
Ultimately, the goal is to create a recovery journey rooted in empowerment, truth, and collaboration, helping victims rebuild their lives with dignity and resilience.
A SCARS Institute Volunteer’s Guide to Leading Scam Victims Through Recovery Without Falling into Savior Syndrome
Introduction
Volunteering to guide other scam victims through recovery is an immensely rewarding experience, offering a chance to turn personal pain into purposeful action. However, effective leadership in this context requires balance, humility, and a focus on empowering others. It’s essential to avoid falling into the “savior syndrome”—the belief that you alone can fix or rescue others—while fostering a supportive environment that helps victims reclaim their strength and autonomy. This guide outlines key principles for volunteers working within structured recovery programs like those provided by the SCARS Institute.
PART 1: THE TEN PRINCIPALS
Understand Your Role as a Volunteer Leader
- Be a Guide, Not a Rescuer: Your role is to provide tools, insights, and support—not to solve others’ problems for them.
- Empower, Don’t Enable: Encourage victims to make their own decisions, take responsibility for their recovery, and recognize their inner strength.
- Align with the Program’s Framework: SCARS offers proven, structured approaches to recovery. Follow their guidelines and methodologies rather than creating your own path.
Your role as a volunteer is not to “rescue” victims but to guide them toward the resources, tools, and support they need for recovery. It’s important to recognize that you are part of a broader system of recovery, and no single person can—or should—shoulder the burden of someone else’s healing. Rather than solving problems for victims, focus on empowering them to take ownership of their recovery journey.
Leadership in this context means helping victims rediscover their strength. Your role is to be a supportive presence, offering encouragement, direction, and access to professional tools like those provided by SCARS. By aligning with the program’s frameworks and maintaining realistic expectations, you ensure your efforts are part of a larger, coordinated approach to victim recovery.
Cultivate Empathy Without Overidentifying
- Listen Actively: Be fully present in conversations, acknowledging victims’ pain without interrupting or imposing solutions.
- Validate Their Emotions: Let victims know their feelings—whether anger, sadness, or guilt—are normal and understandable.
- Maintain Healthy Boundaries: Avoid projecting your experiences onto others or taking on their pain as your own. Remember, your role is to assist, not absorb.
Empathy is the foundation of effective volunteer work, but it’s important to strike a balance. While you may share similar experiences with scam victims, overidentifying with their pain can blur the boundaries between support and personal involvement. Listen actively to their stories, validate their emotions, and provide a safe space for them to express themselves. However, remember that their journey is unique, and what worked for you may not work for them.
Maintaining healthy boundaries is essential. Avoid taking on their pain as your own or imposing your narrative onto their recovery. By focusing on understanding their perspective rather than projecting your experience, you can provide a balanced and compassionate form of support.
Avoid Savior Syndrome
- Recognize Shared Responsibility: Understand that recovery is a collaborative process, and each victim is ultimately responsible for their own healing.
- Stay Humble: Acknowledge that no one, including you, has all the answers. Lean on SCARS resources and professional guidance.
- Don’t Overpromise: Avoid making guarantees about outcomes. Focus on supporting victims through their journey, not delivering a specific result.
- Celebrate Small Wins: Encourage victims to recognize their progress, fostering self-confidence rather than dependence on your guidance.
- If You Think ONLY You can Help Scam Victims – then you can succumbed to Savior Syndrom.
Savior syndrome occurs when leaders feel compelled to “fix” others or take sole responsibility for their recovery. This mindset can lead to burnout, unhealthy dependency, and even unintentional harm. As a volunteer, remind yourself that recovery is a collaborative process. Victims must take an active role in their healing, and your job is to facilitate—not control—that process.
Stay humble by acknowledging that you don’t have all the answers. Recovery is complex, and even experienced professionals don’t have a one-size-fits-all solution. Use the tools and guidelines provided by SCARS to ensure your support is consistent, evidence-based, and professional. Focus on small wins and incremental progress, helping victims build confidence in their own capabilities.
Learn more about Savior Syndrome here:
Focus on Empowerment
- Encourage Self-Advocacy: Teach victims how to navigate recovery resources, report scams, and rebuild their lives independently.
- Provide Tools, Not Dependency: Share actionable steps, such as accessing SCARS support groups, utilizing counseling services, and implementing fraud prevention strategies.
- Reinforce Agency: Remind victims that they have the strength and resilience to rebuild, even if it feels distant right now.
Empowerment is about giving victims the tools, resources, and encouragement they need to regain control over their lives. Instead of doing things for them, show them how to navigate the recovery process themselves. For example, teach them how to report scams, manage their finances, or access professional counseling.
Reinforce the idea that they are capable of rebuilding their lives. Victims may feel powerless after a scam, but your role is to remind them of their resilience and help them see their potential. By focusing on empowerment rather than dependency, you help victims become self-reliant and confident in their ability to protect themselves in the future.
Communicate Constructively
- Use Supportive Language: Frame suggestions positively, avoiding blame or judgment. For example, say, “Have you considered this option?” rather than, “You should have done this.”
- Set Clear Expectations: Clarify what you can and cannot provide as a volunteer leader, so victims understand the scope of your role.
- Share Proven Resources: Direct victims to SCARS-approved materials, guides, and counseling services to ensure they receive accurate, professional advice.
The way you communicate with scam victims can significantly impact their recovery journey. Use supportive and nonjudgmental language, avoiding phrases that could be perceived as critical or dismissive. For example, instead of saying, “You should have known better,” frame suggestions positively: “Many people have faced similar challenges. Here’s what can help moving forward.”
Set clear expectations about what you can offer as a volunteer. Let victims know that while you are there to support them, their recovery ultimately depends on their own efforts. Share accurate, professional resources like those provided by SCARS to ensure they have access to reliable guidance.
Recognize the Risks of Mob Mentality
- Discourage Venting Spirals: While sharing emotions is important, avoid allowing groups to turn into echo chambers of anger or despair. Focus on solutions and progress.
- Foster Respectful Dialogue: Model respectful communication, even when discussing scammers, institutions, or other victims.
- Stay Fact-Focused: Guide victims to base decisions on reliable information, avoiding rumor-driven or emotionally charged actions.
In group settings, emotions can sometimes escalate into mob mentality, where anger or frustration becomes amplified. As a leader, it’s your responsibility to foster a constructive environment. Encourage victims to share their emotions but steer conversations toward solutions and progress. Avoid allowing discussions to devolve into venting spirals or blame-driven narratives.
Model respectful dialogue by demonstrating empathy and calmness, even when addressing emotionally charged topics. Focus on fact-based discussions and avoid spreading misinformation or fueling resentment. By maintaining a balanced tone, you create a safe and productive space for recovery.
Promote Self-Care for Both Victims and Yourself
- Encourage Self-Care Practices: Remind victims of the importance of sleep, nutrition, exercise, and mindfulness during recovery.
- Take Care of Yourself: Leading others can be emotionally draining. Set boundaries, seek support when needed, and take breaks to recharge.
- Acknowledge Limitations: If a victim’s needs exceed your capacity, refer them to SCARS-certified professionals or external resources.
Recovery is an emotional and physical process, and self-care is essential for both victims and volunteers. Encourage victims to prioritize basic needs like sleep, nutrition, exercise, and relaxation. Self-care not only supports their mental health but also signals safety and stability to their nervous system.
As a volunteer, you must also take care of yourself. Set boundaries to avoid burnout, seek support from fellow volunteers or supervisors, and take breaks when needed. Acknowledge your limitations and refer victims to professional resources when their needs exceed your expertise.
Build and Lead by Example
- Demonstrate Resilience: Share your story of recovery authentically, emphasizing how SCARS tools and strategies helped you.
- Model Healthy Behavior: Show respect, patience, and humility in your interactions to inspire trust and confidence.
- Stay Committed to Learning: Continuously educate yourself about recovery techniques, trauma-informed care, and scam prevention to provide the best support.
Your actions as a volunteer leader set the tone for others. Share your recovery story authentically, highlighting how structured programs like SCARS helped you move forward. Be transparent about your challenges and how you overcame them, showing that recovery is a process, not an overnight transformation.
Model healthy behaviors, such as setting boundaries, practicing self-care, and engaging in respectful communication. By leading through example, you inspire confidence and demonstrate what a balanced, empowered recovery looks like.
Collaborate with the Community
- Foster Peer Support: Encourage victims to connect with one another, building a sense of community that reinforces shared growth.
- Refer to Professional Resources: Emphasize the value of SCARS programs, counseling, and educational materials as essential components of recovery.
- Respect Diverse Journeys: Recognize that every victim’s path to healing is unique. Avoid imposing your timeline or methods on others.
Recovery is not a solo journey, and fostering a sense of community is vital. Encourage victims to connect with others who share similar experiences, whether through support groups, online forums, or local events. Shared stories and mutual encouragement help build a network of understanding and solidarity.
Refer victims to SCARS-certified programs, counseling services, and educational resources to ensure they have access to professional guidance. Respect the diversity of recovery journeys and avoid imposing your methods on others. Instead, focus on collaboration and shared growth.
Measure Success by Empowerment, Not Dependence
- Celebrate Independence: Success is when victims no longer need constant support and can navigate their recovery confidently.
- Encourage Leadership Growth: Empower victims to become future leaders or mentors, creating a cycle of support within the community.
- Focus on Sustainable Change: Ensure that the tools and strategies victims adopt are practical, adaptable, and sustainable for long-term recovery.
Success as a volunteer leader is measured by the independence and confidence victims achieve—not by how much they rely on you. Celebrate their progress, no matter how small, and encourage them to take ownership of their recovery. Remind them that their strength and resilience are the driving forces behind their healing.
Empower victims to become future leaders or mentors within the community, creating a cycle of support that extends beyond your individual efforts. Focus on fostering sustainable change, ensuring victims have the tools and knowledge to protect themselves and thrive in the long term.
PART 2: DEEPER UNDERSTANDING
The Ethics of Responsibility and Accountability for Volunteers Helping Scam Victims
Volunteering to assist scam victims in their recovery journey is a noble endeavor, but it carries significant ethical responsibilities. Volunteers are often viewed as trusted sources of guidance and support, which places them in a position of influence. With this influence comes the ethical obligation to act responsibly, maintain accountability, and prioritize the well-being of the victims they serve. Adhering to ethical principles ensures that volunteers provide meaningful, respectful, and professional support.
1. Respect for Boundaries
One of the most critical ethical responsibilities for volunteers is to respect the boundaries of scam victims. Recovery is a deeply personal and emotional process, and victims may have varying levels of comfort in sharing their experiences. Volunteers must avoid overstepping or pressuring victims to disclose more than they are willing to share. Respecting these boundaries fosters trust and creates a safe space for victims to heal at their own pace.
Volunteers should also establish their own boundaries to avoid burnout and maintain their effectiveness. Recognizing the limits of their role and avoiding overcommitment ensures that they can provide consistent and reliable support without compromising their own well-being.
2. Upholding Truth and Transparency
Ethical responsibility includes being honest and transparent with scam victims. Volunteers must provide accurate information, avoid exaggerating their expertise, and acknowledge when they do not have all the answers. Misinformation, even when well-intentioned, can lead victims down unhelpful or harmful paths.
Transparency also involves setting realistic expectations. Recovery is a complex and gradual process, and volunteers should emphasize that while support and resources can help, the journey requires effort, time, and patience from the victims themselves.
3. Maintaining Confidentiality
Scam victims often share sensitive and personal information during their recovery journey. Volunteers have an ethical duty to safeguard this information and ensure confidentiality. This means refraining from discussing victims’ stories with others without explicit consent, except in cases where safety is at risk or reporting to authorities is legally required.
Maintaining confidentiality not only protects the privacy of victims but also strengthens their trust in the support process. It reassures them that they are in a safe environment where their experiences will be handled with care and respect.
4. Avoiding Power Imbalances
Volunteers must be mindful of the inherent power dynamics in their role. Scam victims often turn to volunteers in a vulnerable state, seeking guidance and reassurance. Volunteers must avoid exploiting this vulnerability, whether intentionally or unintentionally, by maintaining a collaborative rather than authoritative approach.
Encourage victims to take an active role in their recovery, emphasizing their agency and decision-making power. The goal is to empower victims, not to create dependency on the volunteer or the support system.
5. Ensuring Accountability
Accountability is a cornerstone of ethical volunteering. Volunteers must hold themselves to high standards of conduct and take responsibility for their actions, words, and recommendations. If mistakes are made, they should be acknowledged and corrected promptly.
Part of accountability is recognizing when a victim’s needs exceed the volunteer’s expertise. In such cases, volunteers should refer victims to qualified professionals, such as counselors or legal advisors, to ensure they receive appropriate support.
6. Balancing Compassion with Professionalism
While empathy and compassion are vital in helping scam victims, volunteers must balance these qualities with professionalism. This includes avoiding overidentification with victims or becoming emotionally enmeshed in their experiences. Overinvolvement can blur the lines between support and personal attachment, potentially leading to savior syndrome or burnout.
Professionalism also involves adhering to the guidelines and protocols of structured programs, such as those provided by the SCARS Institute. These frameworks are designed to ensure consistent, ethical, and effective support for victims.
7. Promoting Ethical Recovery Practices
Ethical responsibility extends to encouraging victims to engage in ethical behavior during their recovery. This includes reporting scams to authorities, seeking professional help when needed, and avoiding retaliatory actions against scammers. Volunteers should guide victims toward constructive actions that align with principles of accountability and justice.
By modeling ethical behavior, volunteers set an example for victims and contribute to a culture of integrity within the recovery community.
8. Supporting without Blaming
Victims of scams often struggle with feelings of shame, guilt, and self-blame. Volunteers must approach their role with a nonblaming attitude, providing support without criticism. Avoid phrases or attitudes that could inadvertently reinforce a victim’s sense of failure or inadequacy.
Instead, focus on validation and encouragement, reminding victims that being scammed is not a reflection of their intelligence or worth. Ethical volunteering means prioritizing the dignity and emotional well-being of those you serve.
Responsibility and Accountability are Foundational
The ethics of responsibility and accountability are foundational to effective and meaningful volunteer work with scam victims. By respecting boundaries, upholding truth, maintaining confidentiality, and promoting empowerment, volunteers can provide support that is both compassionate and ethical. These principles ensure that victims feel valued, respected, and equipped to take ownership of their recovery. Ethical leadership not only helps victims heal but also fosters trust and integrity within the recovery community, creating a positive and lasting impact.
The Need for Volunteers and the Importance of Ethical Volunteering in Supporting Scam Victims
The global rise in scams has left countless individuals grappling with emotional trauma, financial loss, and a deep sense of betrayal. For many victims, the path to recovery can feel isolating and overwhelming. Volunteers play a vital role in bridging this gap, offering guidance, support, and a sense of community to those who need it most. However, the nature of this work requires not just willingness but a strong commitment to ethical practices, as the vulnerability of scam victims makes them particularly sensitive to the support they receive.
The Growing Demand for Support
With the increasing prevalence of scams in various forms—online fraud, romance scams, phishing schemes, and more—the number of victims continues to rise. These individuals often face emotional distress, financial instability, and a loss of trust in others. The need for support systems that can provide understanding, education, and guidance is more urgent than ever. Unfortunately, professional resources such as therapy or financial counseling may be out of reach for many victims due to cost or availability. Volunteers help fill this critical gap, offering accessible and compassionate assistance.
Volunteers can provide:
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- Emotional Support: Victims often need someone to listen to their stories without judgment, offering reassurance and validation.
- Educational Guidance: Volunteers can help victims understand how scams work, empowering them with knowledge to protect themselves in the future.
- Practical Assistance: From assisting with reporting scams to directing victims to professional resources, volunteers can provide hands-on help tailored to each victim’s needs.
- Community Connection: Volunteers help foster a sense of belonging, reducing the isolation and stigma that many victims feel after being scammed.
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Why Ethical Volunteers Are Essential
While the willingness to help is commendable, the impact of volunteering hinges on ethical practices. Scam victims are often in a fragile state, and the way support is provided can significantly influence their recovery journey. Ethical volunteers ensure that their actions prioritize the well-being, autonomy, and dignity of the victims they serve.
Key reasons why ethical volunteering is crucial include:
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- Protecting Vulnerability: Scam victims are already vulnerable due to their trauma. Unethical or poorly informed volunteers can unintentionally cause further harm by offering misguided advice, imposing personal beliefs, or making victims feel judged or blamed.
- Building Trust: Victims often struggle with trust issues after being scammed. Ethical volunteers, who prioritize transparency, respect, and honesty, help rebuild this trust, creating a safe space for victims to share their experiences.
- Ensuring Effective Support: Recovery is not a one-size-fits-all process. Ethical volunteers take the time to understand each victim’s unique situation, avoiding assumptions or generalized advice that might not apply.
- Preventing Exploitation: Unethical practices, such as seeking personal gain or using victims’ stories for self-promotion, undermine the integrity of volunteer efforts. Ethical guidelines protect victims from being exploited further.
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The Qualities of an Ethical Volunteer
An ethical volunteer embodies key qualities that enable them to provide meaningful and responsible support:
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- Empathy and Compassion: The ability to genuinely care about victims’ well-being and understand their emotional struggles.
- Nonjudgmental Attitude: Avoiding blame or criticism, instead focusing on encouragement and validation.
- Commitment to Confidentiality: Safeguarding victims’ privacy and personal information.
- Cultural Sensitivity: Recognizing and respecting the diverse backgrounds and values of victims.
- Self-Awareness: Understanding personal limitations and referring victims to professionals when necessary.
- Accountability: Taking responsibility for their actions and ensuring that their support aligns with ethical principles.
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Volunteering as a Beacon of Hope
For scam victims, interacting with volunteers who genuinely care and uphold ethical standards can be transformative. Ethical volunteers not only guide victims toward recovery but also inspire hope, resilience, and a renewed sense of agency. They remind victims that they are not alone, that their experiences matter, and that recovery is possible.
By stepping up to serve ethically, volunteers contribute to a larger movement of support and awareness that extends far beyond individual interactions. They become part of a collective effort to empower scam victims, dismantle the stigma associated with being scammed, and create a more informed and resilient community.
The Need
The need for volunteers to support scam victims is immense, but the role requires more than good intentions. Ethical volunteers are indispensable in ensuring that the support provided is compassionate, respectful, and effective. By adhering to ethical principles, volunteers can make a profound difference in victims’ lives, helping them navigate their recovery with dignity and confidence. This commitment to ethical service not only uplifts individual victims but strengthens the entire recovery community, fostering an environment of trust, understanding, and healing.
Understanding the Limits of the Relationship Between Volunteers and Scam Victims
Volunteers play a critical role in supporting scam victims by offering guidance, empathy, and practical assistance during their recovery journey. However, it is vital to recognize and respect the boundaries of the relationship between a volunteer and a scam victim. Establishing clear limits ensures that both the volunteer and the victim can engage in a healthy, effective, and ethical dynamic that promotes recovery without overstepping roles or creating dependency.
The Nature of the Volunteer-Victim Relationship
The relationship between a volunteer and a scam victim is inherently supportive but not a substitute for professional help or personal responsibility. Volunteers provide a bridge between the victim’s trauma and recovery by offering emotional encouragement, education, and assistance with navigating recovery resources. However, volunteers are not therapists, financial advisors, or legal professionals, and their role should not extend into areas requiring specialized expertise.
Key Limits of the Volunteer-Victim Relationship
Emotional Boundaries:
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- What Volunteers Can Do: Volunteers can listen with empathy, validate victims’ feelings, and offer emotional reassurance.
- The Limit: Volunteers should avoid becoming the sole emotional outlet for the victim. If the victim’s trauma requires extensive processing or therapeutic intervention, the volunteer should encourage them to seek professional help.
- Why It Matters: Overstepping emotional boundaries can lead to burnout for the volunteer and create an unhealthy dependency for the victim, hindering long-term recovery.
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Expertise Boundaries:
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- What Volunteers Can Do: Volunteers can share general advice, resources, and personal experiences to guide victims toward recovery steps.
- The Limit: Volunteers must not provide specific financial, legal, or therapeutic advice unless they are licensed professionals in those areas acting within their professional capacity.
- Why It Matters: Misguided advice, even with good intentions, can have serious consequences for the victim. Directing victims to qualified professionals ensures they receive accurate and effective support.
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Time and Availability Boundaries:
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- What Volunteers Can Do: Volunteers can allocate time to help victims within reasonable limits, such as attending group meetings, answering questions, or assisting with resources.
- The Limit: Volunteers cannot be available at all times or for every need. Setting boundaries around availability ensures volunteers can balance their commitments and maintain their well-being.
- Why It Matters: Overextending time and availability can lead to volunteer burnout and diminish the quality of support offered to all victims.
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Relationship Boundaries:
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- What Volunteers Can Do: Volunteers can build rapport and trust with victims to create a safe and supportive environment.
- The Limit: The relationship should remain professional and focused on the victim’s recovery. Volunteers must avoid personal entanglements or becoming overly involved in the victim’s private life.
- Why It Matters: Crossing professional boundaries can complicate the recovery process and create ethical dilemmas, especially if the volunteer becomes emotionally or personally invested beyond their role.
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Autonomy Boundaries:
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- What Volunteers Can Do: Volunteers can empower victims by helping them identify actionable steps and offering guidance on recovery strategies.
- The Limit: Volunteers must not make decisions for victims or pressure them into specific actions. The victim must retain autonomy and agency in their recovery journey.
- Why It Matters: Recovery requires victims to regain a sense of control and confidence. Overstepping autonomy boundaries undermines this process and perpetuates feelings of helplessness.
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Balancing Support and Boundaries
Maintaining the balance between offering support and respecting limits is essential for an effective volunteer-victim relationship. Volunteers should:
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- Communicate Boundaries Clearly: Be upfront about what you can and cannot provide as a volunteer. Transparency helps manage expectations and reduces the risk of misunderstandings.
- Encourage Self-Reliance: Focus on empowering victims to take charge of their recovery. Provide tools, resources, and encouragement, but allow them to make decisions and take actions independently.
- Know When to Refer: Recognize when a victim’s needs exceed your role as a volunteer. Referring them to professionals, such as therapists, financial counselors, or legal advisors, ensures they receive the appropriate level of support.
- Practice Self-Care: Setting boundaries also protects volunteers from emotional exhaustion, enabling them to continue providing effective support without compromising their well-being.
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Why Boundaries Are Essential
Boundaries safeguard the integrity of the volunteer-victim relationship and create a foundation of trust, respect, and accountability. They ensure that the victim receives appropriate support without overreliance on the volunteer while protecting the volunteer from burnout or ethical dilemmas.
Volunteers who respect these limits can provide compassionate and effective assistance while encouraging victims to take meaningful steps toward recovery. Boundaries are not barriers; they are guidelines that foster a safe and productive environment for both parties.
By understanding and adhering to these limits, volunteers can serve as responsible and ethical allies in the journey of scam recovery, creating a supportive network that empowers victims without compromising the integrity of the relationship.
The Need for Absolute Truth in Supporting Scam Victims
When supporting scam victims in their recovery, honesty is not just a virtue—it is a necessity. The need for absolute truth arises from the delicate balance between fostering hope and confronting the reality of what has happened. Scam victims have experienced deception and betrayal, leaving them vulnerable to further harm if the truth is minimized or distorted. Volunteers and support professionals must adopt a principled approach that prioritizes clarity, sincerity, and empowerment without resorting to toxic positivity or unproductive negativity.
Never Minimize the Reality of the Scam
Minimizing the impact of a scam does a disservice to victims by invalidating their experiences and emotions. Victims need acknowledgment of the gravity of what they’ve endured, including:
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- Emotional Pain: The loss of trust, feelings of betrayal, and shame often accompany scams.
- Financial Impact: Victims may have lost significant savings, accrued debt, or face ongoing financial insecurity.
- Psychological Toll: The trauma of being scammed can lead to anxiety, depression, or even post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
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Why It Matters: Downplaying these realities denies victims the validation they need to process their emotions and begin their recovery journey. Truth, no matter how difficult, provides the foundation for moving forward.
Never Provide False Hope or Encouragement
While encouragement is vital, it must be grounded in realism. False hope—such as suggesting that funds can always be recovered or that the pain will disappear quickly—sets victims up for disappointment and undermines trust in the support process. Instead:
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- Be Honest About Challenges: Acknowledge that recovery is a journey requiring time, effort, and resilience.
- Focus on What’s Possible: Highlight achievable steps, such as reporting the scam, improving personal security, and accessing professional resources.
- Celebrate Progress: Recognize small victories along the way to reinforce positive actions without overstating outcomes.
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Why It Matters: Victims need accurate expectations to rebuild their lives. False hope can delay acceptance and perpetuate feelings of failure if unrealistic goals are not met.
Never Patronize Victims
Patronizing language or behavior undermines the dignity of scam victims, making them feel judged or belittled. Common pitfalls include:
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- Speaking Down to Victims: Avoid condescending explanations or assuming victims lack intelligence or awareness.
- Implying Blame: Statements like “How could you not see the red flags?” only reinforce shame.
- Over-Simplifying Recovery: Recovery is not a linear process, and suggesting otherwise can alienate victims.
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Why It Matters: Patronization erodes trust and discourages victims from seeking further support. Respectful communication fosters empowerment and mutual understanding.
Avoid Toxic Positivity
Toxic positivity is the insistence on maintaining a “positive outlook” at all costs, even when it invalidates genuine feelings of grief, anger, or frustration. Examples include:
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- Dismissive Statements: Phrases like “Just think positive” or “It could be worse” ignore the victim’s pain.
- Forcing Optimism: Pressuring victims to feel hopeful before they’re ready can hinder emotional processing.
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Why It Matters: Victims need space to grieve and process their emotions authentically. While hope is important, it must be paired with an acknowledgment of their current struggles.
The Role of Bluntness in Communication
Bluntness can be a powerful tool when used appropriately. Scam victims often need a clear, straightforward understanding of their situation, free from euphemisms or sugarcoating. However, bluntness should always be delivered with care:
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- Direct Yet Compassionate: Be honest about the challenges without being dismissive or harsh.
- Focus on Actionable Insights: Provide blunt truths that empower victims to take meaningful steps, such as recognizing the scam, reporting it, or building resilience.
- Avoid Unnecessary Negativity: While honesty is crucial, there’s no need to dwell excessively on the negative or reinforce feelings of hopelessness.
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Why It Matters: Blunt communication respects the victim’s intelligence and autonomy, but it must be balanced with empathy to avoid exacerbating their distress.
A Framework for Absolute Truth
To navigate the fine line between truth and support effectively, volunteers and professionals should adopt the following principles:
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- Validate the Victim’s Experience: Acknowledge the full impact of the scam without minimizing or dismissing their feelings.
- Provide Accurate Information: Offer clear and honest guidance about recovery options, challenges, and outcomes.
- Empower Through Knowledge: Educate victims on realistic steps to regain control, such as financial management, emotional self-care, and security practices.
- Encourage Self-Reflection: Help victims understand their emotions and behaviors without assigning blame or judgment.
- Balance Realism with Hope: Highlight opportunities for growth and healing while maintaining honesty about the effort required.
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Why Absolute Truth Matters
Scam victims have already experienced profound deceit. They need honesty to rebuild trust—not only in others but also in themselves. Absolute truth lays the groundwork for recovery by:
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- Promoting Clarity: Clear, honest communication helps victims understand their situation and make informed decisions.
- Building Trust: Sincerity fosters a supportive environment where victims feel respected and validated.
- Encouraging Accountability: Truth empowers victims to take ownership of their recovery journey while acknowledging the systemic and personal challenges they face.
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By embracing absolute truth with compassion and care, volunteers and professionals can guide scam victims toward genuine healing and resilience. This approach reinforces the victim’s agency, supports emotional recovery, and helps them rebuild their lives with confidence and self-respect.
Good Intentions Can Become Very Bad
Good intentions, while admirable, can sometimes lead to negative consequences when not paired with thoughtful consideration and awareness of potential outcomes. For example, in efforts to comfort someone experiencing distress, individuals might offer false hope or dismiss the gravity of the situation with phrases like, “Everything will be fine.” Though well-meaning, such responses can invalidate the person’s feelings and discourage them from seeking deeper solutions. Similarly, in the context of helping scam victims, overly aggressive attempts to “fix” their situation or push them toward recovery can create feelings of overwhelm, guilt, or even resentment, as they may feel their emotions and readiness are being overlooked.
Another common example is overstepping boundaries in the name of support. Volunteers or helpers may take on a savior role, assuming they know what’s best for the person in need. This can unintentionally disempower the individual, fostering dependency rather than resilience. Good intentions must be tempered with empathy, humility, and an understanding of the bigger picture. This involves actively listening, validating the other person’s experience, and ensuring that actions align with their actual needs and desires, rather than assuming what is helpful. By recognizing that even the best intentions can have unintended consequences, helpers can approach their efforts with greater mindfulness, reducing the risk of causing harm.
Volunteers Are Not Experts: Guidance, Not Authority
It is crucial for volunteers supporting scam victims to understand that they are not experts in psychology, law enforcement, financial recovery, or trauma care. Their role is not to diagnose, counsel, or solve the victim’s problems directly but to act as guides—helping victims navigate toward appropriate resources, information, and professional support. Attempting to act as an expert without the necessary training and credentials can lead to serious ethical and practical issues, potentially causing harm to the victim and compromising the integrity of the volunteer’s work.
Why Volunteers Should Not Assume the Role of Experts
Most volunteers come from the ranks of people who have been affected by scams themselves, either directly or with a family member or friend. Being ‘aware’ is not the same thing as being knowledgeable, much less expert in the subject matter.
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- Lack of Professional Training: Volunteers, while often compassionate and dedicated, lack the formal education and experience required to provide expert advice in specialized fields. Giving incorrect or incomplete guidance could exacerbate a victim’s situation, leading to financial, emotional, or legal setbacks.
- Ethical Boundaries: Overstepping into the role of an expert creates ethical risks. Volunteers must remain aware of their limitations and avoid providing advice or making decisions they are not qualified to make. Acting beyond their capacity can erode trust and harm the volunteer-victim relationship.
- Complexity of Victim Needs: The challenges scam victims face—such as financial recovery, trauma processing, or legal action—are multifaceted and often require specialized expertise. Professionals in these fields are equipped with the knowledge and tools to address these issues effectively, while volunteers are not.
The Role of Volunteers as Guides
Instead of positioning themselves as experts, volunteers should focus on being informed and empathetic guides. This involves:
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- Connecting Victims to Resources: Direct victims to reputable organizations, professionals, or materials that can provide the support they need, such as counseling services, financial advisors, or law enforcement agencies.
- Sharing Accurate Information: Provide general, verified information about recovery processes, avoiding personal opinions or unverified advice.
- Encouraging Professional Help: Stress the importance of seeking assistance from qualified professionals and offer guidance on how to access those resources.
Referring and Deferring to Experts
Volunteers should always refer victims to appropriate subject matter experts for specific needs. For instance:
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- Mental Health Support: Refer victims to licensed therapists or counselors for trauma care and emotional recovery.
- Financial Guidance: Direct victims to financial advisors or organizations that specialize in recovery from financial fraud.
- Legal Issues: Encourage victims to consult with attorneys or law enforcement for legal advice and action.
Deferring to experts not only ensures that victims receive the most accurate and effective support but also protects the volunteer from overstepping boundaries and making costly errors. Acknowledging one’s limitations is not a weakness but a strength that demonstrates respect for both the victim and the expertise required to handle complex issues.
Maintaining an Ethical and Safe Relationship
By avoiding the role of an expert, volunteers can maintain a relationship that is ethical, respectful, and supportive. This includes:
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- Listening Without Judging: Allow victims to share their experiences without attempting to analyze or solve their problems.
- Providing a Safe Space: Be a source of empathy and understanding, not authority or control.
- Encouraging Empowerment: Help victims take steps toward recovery by pointing them in the right direction rather than trying to lead or carry them through it.
By understanding their role as facilitators rather than fixers, volunteers can create a safe and supportive environment that respects both their limitations and the needs of scam victims. This approach reinforces the importance of expert involvement and ensures victims receive the highest standard of care and guidance.
The Dangers Facing Scam Victims: Risks of Future Scams, Domestic Abuse, and Emotional Crisis
Scam victims often face a cascade of challenges after their initial experience, ranging from vulnerability to future scams and domestic abuse to the profound emotional toll that can lead to self-harm or even suicide. Volunteers working with scam victims must navigate a delicate balance to support the victim’s immediate and long-term needs while remaining vigilant to these risks. This role requires compassion, awareness, and adherence to best practices to safeguard victims from further harm.
Vulnerability to Future Scams
Scam victims often remain at risk for re-victimization. Scammers may:
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- Target the Same Victim Again: Once a victim is identified, scammers may try additional schemes, leveraging the victim’s contact information, emotional state, or residual trust.
- Exploit Emotional Trauma: Victims dealing with the shame, confusion, or hopelessness of the first scam may be less equipped to spot new threats, particularly those that promise quick financial recovery or emotional relief.
- Repackage the Scam: Scammers may tailor new frauds, such as pretending to offer “help” to recover lost funds, further exploiting the victim’s desperation.
Volunteers play a critical role in helping victims rebuild their defenses against future scams. This includes educating victims about scam tactics, encouraging them to report scams to authorities, and supporting them in regaining confidence to recognize and resist manipulation.
Domestic Abuse as a Secondary Danger
In some cases, the fallout from a scam can strain personal relationships, especially if the victim’s partner or family reacts with blame, anger, or financial pressure. This strain can escalate into:
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- Verbal or Emotional Abuse: Victims may be subjected to criticism, guilt-tripping, or verbal attacks from loved ones who fail to empathize with their trauma.
- Financial Control: If financial loss from the scam creates instability, victims may become financially dependent on a partner or family member who exerts control or limits their autonomy.
- Physical Abuse: In extreme cases, anger or frustration over the scam’s consequences may result in physical violence, particularly in relationships already marked by tension or abuse.
Volunteers must be sensitive to the possibility of domestic abuse and provide victims with resources to seek help, such as domestic violence hotlines or counseling services. They must also ensure that support is offered in a manner that does not inadvertently escalate conflict at home.
Emotional Crisis and the Risk of Suicide
The emotional fallout from being scammed can lead to overwhelming feelings of shame, guilt, helplessness, and despair. Victims may:
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- Struggle with Self-Worth: Many victims blame themselves for falling prey to a scam, feeling stupid, gullible, or unworthy of help.
- Experience Isolation: The stigma surrounding scams can lead victims to withdraw from family and friends, compounding feelings of loneliness and hopelessness.
- Develop Suicidal Thoughts: In severe cases, the psychological toll may lead victims to consider self-harm or suicide as an escape from their pain and perceived failure.
Volunteers must tread carefully, offering nonjudgmental support while being alert to warning signs of suicidal ideation, such as expressions of hopelessness, withdrawal, or mentions of self-harm. When such signs are present, volunteers should:
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- Encourage Immediate Professional Help: Suggest contacting a crisis hotline, therapist, or trusted healthcare provider.
- Avoid Overstepping: Volunteers are not mental health professionals and should not attempt to counsel victims in crisis. Instead, they should focus on connecting the victim with appropriate resources.
- Stay Compassionate but Firm: Offer a listening ear and validate the victim’s feelings while gently steering them toward professional intervention.
Walking the Delicate Balance
Supporting scam victims through these dangers requires volunteers to balance empathy with boundaries, vigilance with respect, and action with humility. Key strategies include:
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- Recognizing Red Flags: Be attuned to signs of emotional distress, abusive relationships, or vulnerability to future scams. These indicators may require referrals to specialized services.
- Providing Steady Support: Avoid rushing victims to “move on” or dismissing their fears. A steady, understanding presence helps victims rebuild trust and regain confidence.
- Maintaining Boundaries: While empathy is vital, volunteers must not take on responsibilities beyond their expertise, such as acting as therapists or financial advisors.
- Empowering Victims: Encourage victims to take small, manageable steps toward recovery, such as joining a support group, reporting the scam, or engaging in self-care.
- Collaborating with Experts: Work alongside professionals in mental health, domestic violence, and financial recovery to ensure victims receive comprehensive and appropriate care.
Protecting the Victim, Preserving the Mission
Volunteers must remember that their ultimate goal is to guide victims toward safety, recovery, and empowerment without overstepping their role. By being vigilant to the risks scam victims face, respecting the limits of their expertise, and fostering a supportive environment, volunteers can play a critical role in helping victims navigate the path from survival to healing. This delicate balance not only protects the victim but also preserves the integrity and effectiveness of the volunteer’s mission.
Remember:
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- Volunteers have a moral, ethical, and legal obligation to report awareness of crimes – this includes domestic abuse.
- Volunteers also have a moral and ethical obligation to report suicidal ideation (threats of talk about suicide). A call to their local police is needed so they can perform an informed welfare check on the victim,
Caring for the Caregivers: Self-Care for Volunteers and Recognizing Vicarious Trauma
Volunteering to support scam victims is an emotionally demanding role that requires empathy, resilience, and dedication. However, the intense nature of this work can take a toll on volunteers themselves. Exposure to others’ trauma can lead to vicarious trauma, a form of emotional distress that arises from empathizing deeply with someone else’s suffering. To be effective and sustainable in their roles, volunteers must prioritize their own well-being, recognize the signs of burnout or vicarious trauma, and know when it’s time to step back or refer a victim to someone better suited to help.
Understanding Vicarious Trauma
Vicarious trauma occurs when prolonged exposure to another person’s distress impacts a helper’s mental, emotional, and even physical well-being. It often manifests as a response to hearing repeated accounts of trauma, pain, or injustice, leading to:
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- Emotional Exhaustion: Feeling drained, overwhelmed, or unable to continue providing support.
- Intrusive Thoughts: Replaying victims’ experiences in the mind or struggling to separate their stories from one’s own emotions.
- Cynicism or Hopelessness: Losing faith in the ability to make a difference, doubting the value of the work, or feeling disconnected from personal purpose.
- Heightened Anxiety or Hypervigilance: Becoming overly cautious or anxious, especially in situations that echo the victim’s experiences.
- Physical Symptoms: Experiencing headaches, fatigue, sleep disturbances, or other stress-related ailments.
Recognizing these symptoms early is critical for preventing long-term harm and maintaining effectiveness as a volunteer.
Prioritizing Self-Care
To guard against vicarious trauma and maintain their ability to help others, volunteers should actively engage in self-care. Key strategies include:
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- Setting Boundaries: Clearly define when and how much time you can dedicate to volunteering. Avoid overcommitting or becoming too emotionally entangled in a victim’s journey.
- Practicing Emotional Regulation: Engage in mindfulness exercises, meditation, or deep-breathing techniques to manage stress and stay grounded.
- Seeking Support: Share experiences with other volunteers, supervisors, or trusted friends. Peer support can help validate feelings and provide a sense of camaraderie.
- Engaging in Restorative Activities: Prioritize hobbies, exercise, or time with loved ones to replenish emotional and physical energy.
- Limiting Exposure: Be mindful of how much time is spent hearing or discussing distressing stories. Taking breaks is essential for preserving mental health.
By taking care of themselves, volunteers not only safeguard their well-being but also model healthy boundaries and self-care for the victims they support.
Knowing When to Step Away
There are times when a volunteer may need to step back from their role or refer a victim to someone better equipped to provide support. This decision is not a failure but an acknowledgment of the limits of one’s capacity and expertise. Signs it may be time to step away include:
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- Feeling Overwhelmed: If supporting victims begins to interfere with daily life, relationships, or personal well-being, it may be necessary to take a break.
- Lack of Progress: When a victim’s needs consistently surpass the volunteer’s capacity, it’s time to connect them with specialized resources or professionals.
- Emotional Overinvestment: If a volunteer starts feeling overly responsible for a victim’s recovery, it can blur boundaries and lead to unproductive relationships.
- Recognizing Burnout: Persistent fatigue, irritability, or detachment are signs that the volunteer may need time to recharge.
How to Refer a Victim
Referring a victim to someone else is not abandoning them but ensuring they receive the right level of care. When referring:
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- Be Honest: Explain why you believe the victim could benefit from additional or specialized help.
- Provide Clear Resources: Offer specific referrals, such as licensed counselors, legal aid, or specialized support organizations.
- Follow Through: Ensure the victim knows how to access the resource and feels supported during the transition.
- Maintain Contact (If Appropriate): If within your capacity and ethical boundaries, stay in touch to provide encouragement without taking on primary responsibility.
The Importance of Volunteer Well-Being
Volunteers are an integral part of the support system for scam victims, but they cannot pour from an empty cup. By prioritizing their mental and emotional health, volunteers can provide consistent, compassionate, and effective support while reducing the risk of burnout or vicarious trauma. Recognizing personal limits and stepping back when necessary ensures that victims receive the best possible care, while volunteers remain strong, healthy, and committed to their vital role.
Conclusion
Becoming a volunteer leader in the scam victim recovery community is an opportunity to transform pain into purpose. By following SCARS’ structured approaches, fostering empathy, and focusing on empowerment, you can help victims regain their footing without falling into the savior mindset. Remember, the goal is not to “fix” anyone but to guide, support, and inspire others to take control of their recovery journey. Leadership rooted in humility, respect, and collaboration will not only help victims heal but also build a stronger, more resilient community.
Leading scam victims through recovery is a deeply meaningful endeavor, but it requires balance, humility, and a commitment to empowering others. By following structured approaches like those provided by SCARS, volunteers can guide victims effectively while avoiding savior syndrome. Remember, your role is not to rescue but to support, inspire, and equip victims to reclaim their lives. With empathy, respect, and collaboration, you can help build a community of resilience, hope, and lasting recovery.
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Important Information for New Scam Victims
- Please visit www.ScamVictimsSupport.org – a SCARS Website for New Scam Victims & Sextortion Victims
- SCARS Institute now offers a free recovery program at www.SCARSeducation.org
- Please visit www.ScamPsychology.org – to more fully understand the psychological concepts involved in scams and scam victim recovery
If you are looking for local trauma counselors please visit counseling.AgainstScams.org or join SCARS for our counseling/therapy benefit: membership.AgainstScams.org
If you need to speak with someone now, you can dial 988 or find phone numbers for crisis hotlines all around the world here: www.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines
A Question of Trust
At the SCARS Institute, we invite you to do your own research on the topics we speak about and publish, Our team investigates the subject being discussed, especially when it comes to understanding the scam victims-survivors experience. You can do Google searches but in many cases, you will have to wade through scientific papers and studies. However, remember that biases and perspectives matter and influence the outcome. Regardless, we encourage you to explore these topics as thoroughly as you can for your own awareness.
Statement About Victim Blaming
Some of our articles discuss various aspects of victims. This is both about better understanding victims (the science of victimology) and their behaviors and psychology. This helps us to educate victims/survivors about why these crimes happened and to not blame themselves, better develop recovery programs, and to help victims avoid scams in the future. At times this may sound like blaming the victim, but it does not blame scam victims, we are simply explaining the hows and whys of the experience victims have.
These articles, about the Psychology of Scams or Victim Psychology – meaning that all humans have psychological or cognitive characteristics in common that can either be exploited or work against us – help us all to understand the unique challenges victims face before, during, and after scams, fraud, or cybercrimes. These sometimes talk about some of the vulnerabilities the scammers exploit. Victims rarely have control of them or are even aware of them, until something like a scam happens and then they can learn how their mind works and how to overcome these mechanisms.
Articles like these help victims and others understand these processes and how to help prevent them from being exploited again or to help them recover more easily by understanding their post-scam behaviors. Learn more about the Psychology of Scams at www.ScamPsychology.org
SCARS Resources:
- Getting Started: ScamVictimsSupport.org
- FREE enrollment in the SCARS Institute training programs for scam victims SCARSeducation.org
- For New Victims of Relationship Scams newvictim.AgainstScams.org
- Subscribe to SCARS Newsletter newsletter.againstscams.org
- Sign up for SCARS professional support & recovery groups, visit support.AgainstScams.org
- Find competent trauma counselors or therapists, visit counseling.AgainstScams.org
- Become a SCARS Member and get free counseling benefits, visit membership.AgainstScams.org
- Report each and every crime, learn how to at reporting.AgainstScams.org
- Learn more about Scams & Scammers at RomanceScamsNOW.com and ScamsNOW.com
- Learn more about the Psychology of Scams and Scam Victims: ScamPsychology.org
- Self-Help Books for Scam Victims are at shop.AgainstScams.org
- Worldwide Crisis Hotlines: International Suicide Hotlines – OpenCounseling : OpenCounseling
- Campaign To End Scam Victim Blaming – 2024 (scamsnow.com)
Psychology Disclaimer:
All articles about psychology and the human brain on this website are for information & education only
The information provided in this and other SCARS articles are intended for educational and self-help purposes only and should not be construed as a substitute for professional therapy or counseling.
Note about Mindfulness: Mindfulness practices have the potential to create psychological distress for some individuals. Please consult a mental health professional or experienced meditation instructor for guidance should you encounter difficulties.
While any self-help techniques outlined herein may be beneficial for scam victims seeking to recover from their experience and move towards recovery, it is important to consult with a qualified mental health professional before initiating any course of action. Each individual’s experience and needs are unique, and what works for one person may not be suitable for another.
Additionally, any approach may not be appropriate for individuals with certain pre-existing mental health conditions or trauma histories. It is advisable to seek guidance from a licensed therapist or counselor who can provide personalized support, guidance, and treatment tailored to your specific needs.
If you are experiencing significant distress or emotional difficulties related to a scam or other traumatic event, please consult your doctor or mental health provider for appropriate care and support.
Also read our SCARS Institute Statement about Professional Care for Scam Victims – click here
If you are in crisis, feeling desperate, or in despair please call 988 or your local crisis hotline.
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