Thanksgiving and its Meaning for Scam Victims
The Thanksgiving Holiday is Often Difficult for Scams Victims but this Day Has Special Meaning and Should be Embraced
Primary Category: Scam Victims Support & Recovery
Author:
• Tim McGuinness, Ph.D. – Anthropologist, Scientist, Director of the Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Inc.
• Debby Montgomery Johnson – Businesswoman, President and CEO of BenfoComplete.com, Online Fraud Survivors Advocate, Keynote Speaker, Trainer, Host Stand Up & Speak Up and Opening Dialogue for Civility, Military Veteran, and Chairwoman of the Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Inc.
About This Article
Thanksgiving, while traditionally a time for gratitude and togetherness, can have a profound and unique meaning for scam victims recovering from trauma. For these individuals, the holiday offers an opportunity to reflect on their resilience, acknowledge their journey of healing, and find moments of personal growth amid adversity. It’s a time to honor the progress made, reclaim gratitude for the support and lessons gained, and celebrate the strength it takes to rebuild after betrayal.
Thanksgiving can also serve as a reminder to let go of self-blame and focus on self-care. Victims can use the day to connect with supportive networks, appreciate small blessings, and reframe their narrative from one of loss to one of resilience and renewal. By embracing mixed emotions and allowing space for reflection, victims can find peace and hope for the future. Ultimately, Thanksgiving is not just about looking back on hardships but about celebrating survival, fostering community, and finding empowerment in the promise of new beginnings.
The Thanksgiving Holiday is Often Difficult for Scams Victims but this Day Has Special Meaning and Should be Embraced
For scam victims who have experienced trauma, Thanksgiving can hold a deeper and more nuanced meaning. While the holiday traditionally focuses on gratitude and togetherness, for victims, it can also serve as an opportunity to reflect on resilience, healing, and personal growth after a difficult experience.
About Thanksgiving
Not all scam victims live in the United States, but it is still important to understand this holiday. Even if you do not live in the U.S., we hope that you can use the holiday season to enjoy the benefits it brings.
Remember, Thanksgiving is not just about stuffing yourself with turkey, it is about giving thanks for what you have. Even in the face of loss, if you are still alive there is hope! – Tim McGuinness, Ph.D., Managing Director, SCARS Institute
I want to extend heartfelt acknowledgment for the strength and courage it takes to rebuild after such a betrayal. It’s a testament to your resilience and capacity for hope, even in the face of adversity. While this journey may feel isolating at times, remember that you are not alone. There is a community that stands with you, offering support, understanding, and compassion. Thanksgiving is a time to reflect on the aspects of life that empower us to move forward, whether it’s the love of friends and family, the lessons learned, or the promise of new beginnings. Take this moment to celebrate yourself—your bravery, your perseverance, and the progress you’ve made. You are more than your experience; you are a beacon of hope for others who may walk a similar path. May this season bring you peace, comfort, and renewed strength. You are valued, worthy, and deserving of every happiness. – Debby Montgomery Johnson, Chairwoman, SCARS Institute
Thanksgiving in the United States is a national holiday celebrated on the fourth Thursday of November. Its origins and meaning are deeply rooted in gratitude, community, and history.
Historical Origins
The holiday traces back to 1621: when early Pilgrims at Plymouth Colony (in present-day Massachusetts) held a harvest feast to celebrate their first successful crop. They shared the meal with the Wampanoag Native American people, who had helped them learn local agricultural practices. This event is often considered one of the first Thanksgiving celebrations, though it was not initially an annual tradition.
The modern Thanksgiving holiday was established much later: In 1863, during the Civil War, President Abraham Lincoln proclaimed a national day of Thanksgiving to foster unity and gratitude across the country. Congress officially set the date as the fourth Thursday in November in 1941.
Meaning of Thanksgiving Today
Gratitude: Thanksgiving is centered on expressing gratitude for the blessings of the past year, including family, health, and abundance. Many families share what they are thankful for during the holiday meal.
Family and Togetherness: It is a time for families and friends to gather, often traveling long distances to reconnect. Thanksgiving is among the most traveled holidays in the U.S., reflecting its significance as a time of reunion.
Tradition and Food: The holiday is marked by a large feast, typically featuring turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce, and pumpkin pie. These foods reflect both the colonial and agricultural origins of the holiday. Parades (like the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade) and football games are also longstanding Thanksgiving traditions.
Reflection and Generosity: Thanksgiving inspires acts of kindness and community service, such as donating to food banks or volunteering to serve meals to those in need.
Thanksgiving’s Broader Meaning
Thanksgiving has evolved to symbolize gratitude, community, and the acknowledgment of shared experiences. It is a holiday that encourages both reflection on history and the celebration of present blessings, making it one of the most cherished American traditions.
What Thanksgiving Is for Scam Victims
A Time for Acknowledgment: Thanksgiving can be a moment to acknowledge the pain and challenges of being scammed, validate the emotional toll, and recognize the strength it takes to survive and begin healing. It is not about ignoring the trauma but creating space to honor the progress made toward recovery.
Reclaiming Gratitude: Gratitude after trauma might not come easily, but it can start with small, meaningful acknowledgments—thankfulness for supportive loved ones, lessons learned, or even the courage to move forward. It’s about shifting focus from what was lost to what still exists and what has been gained in resilience and insight.
A Pause for Self-Care: Scam victims often carry shame, guilt, or self-blame. Thanksgiving can be a reminder to treat oneself with kindness and care, recognizing that survival and recovery are achievements worth celebrating.
What Thanksgiving Should Mean for Scam Victims
A Celebration of Resilience: Thanksgiving can symbolize strength and perseverance. Despite the hardship, victims can celebrate their capacity to endure, adapt, and rebuild. It’s a time to focus on the future, knowing that life after a scam is still full of possibilities.
A Connection to Support Systems: Victims often feel isolated after a scam. Thanksgiving can be a chance to reconnect with family, friends, or support groups who provide encouragement and remind victims they are not alone.
A Day for Forgiving Yourself: Thanksgiving can be a symbolic day for letting go of self-blame. Victims can use it as an opportunity to reflect on their humanity, realizing that being deceived does not diminish their worth or intelligence.
A Time to Reframe the Narrative: Instead of focusing solely on loss, victims can think about what they have gained—such as awareness, strength, or the ability to help others avoid similar situations. Thanksgiving can be a turning point for reclaiming agency and rewriting the story of their experience.
How Scam Victims Can Approach Thanksgiving
Focus on Small Gratitudes: Start with simple things: health, a meal on the table, or even the presence of someone who cares. Gratitude doesn’t have to be grand to be meaningful.
Embrace Support Networks: Share the day with people who uplift and support you. If in-person gatherings aren’t possible, consider connecting virtually or through supportive online communities.
Allow Space for Mixed Emotions: It’s okay to feel sadness or anger alongside gratitude. Thanksgiving isn’t about forcing happiness but about finding moments of peace and positivity amidst the pain.
Volunteer or Give Back: Helping others, even in small ways, can be empowering and healing. Victims might find solace in contributing to a cause they care about or supporting other scam survivors.
Thanksgiving as a Step Toward Healing
For scam victims, Thanksgiving doesn’t have to be about forgetting the past—it can be about honoring the journey of recovery. It’s an opportunity to shift focus from loss to renewal, to surround oneself with love and support, and to find gratitude in small but meaningful steps forward. Over time, it can become a symbol not just of endurance but of transformation and hope for the future.
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Important Information for New Scam Victims
- Please visit www.ScamVictimsSupport.org – a SCARS Website for New Scam Victims & Sextortion Victims
- SCARS Institute now offers a free recovery program at www.SCARSeducation.org
- Please visit www.ScamPsychology.org – to more fully understand the psychological concepts involved in scams and scam victim recovery
If you are looking for local trauma counselors please visit counseling.AgainstScams.org or join SCARS for our counseling/therapy benefit: membership.AgainstScams.org
If you need to speak with someone now, you can dial 988 or find phone numbers for crisis hotlines all around the world here: www.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines
A Question of Trust
At the SCARS Institute, we invite you to do your own research on the topics we speak about and publish, Our team investigates the subject being discussed, especially when it comes to understanding the scam victims-survivors experience. You can do Google searches but in many cases, you will have to wade through scientific papers and studies. However, remember that biases and perspectives matter and influence the outcome. Regardless, we encourage you to explore these topics as thoroughly as you can for your own awareness.
Statement About Victim Blaming
Some of our articles discuss various aspects of victims. This is both about better understanding victims (the science of victimology) and their behaviors and psychology. This helps us to educate victims/survivors about why these crimes happened and to not blame themselves, better develop recovery programs, and to help victims avoid scams in the future. At times this may sound like blaming the victim, but it does not blame scam victims, we are simply explaining the hows and whys of the experience victims have.
These articles, about the Psychology of Scams or Victim Psychology – meaning that all humans have psychological or cognitive characteristics in common that can either be exploited or work against us – help us all to understand the unique challenges victims face before, during, and after scams, fraud, or cybercrimes. These sometimes talk about some of the vulnerabilities the scammers exploit. Victims rarely have control of them or are even aware of them, until something like a scam happens and then they can learn how their mind works and how to overcome these mechanisms.
Articles like these help victims and others understand these processes and how to help prevent them from being exploited again or to help them recover more easily by understanding their post-scam behaviors. Learn more about the Psychology of Scams at www.ScamPsychology.org
SCARS Resources:
- Getting Started: ScamVictimsSupport.org
- FREE enrollment in the SCARS Institute training programs for scam victims SCARSeducation.org
- For New Victims of Relationship Scams newvictim.AgainstScams.org
- Subscribe to SCARS Newsletter newsletter.againstscams.org
- Sign up for SCARS professional support & recovery groups, visit support.AgainstScams.org
- Find competent trauma counselors or therapists, visit counseling.AgainstScams.org
- Become a SCARS Member and get free counseling benefits, visit membership.AgainstScams.org
- Report each and every crime, learn how to at reporting.AgainstScams.org
- Learn more about Scams & Scammers at RomanceScamsNOW.com and ScamsNOW.com
- Learn more about the Psychology of Scams and Scam Victims: ScamPsychology.org
- Self-Help Books for Scam Victims are at shop.AgainstScams.org
- Worldwide Crisis Hotlines: International Suicide Hotlines – OpenCounseling : OpenCounseling
- Campaign To End Scam Victim Blaming – 2024 (scamsnow.com)
Psychology Disclaimer:
All articles about psychology and the human brain on this website are for information & education only
The information provided in this and other SCARS articles are intended for educational and self-help purposes only and should not be construed as a substitute for professional therapy or counseling.
Note about Mindfulness: Mindfulness practices have the potential to create psychological distress for some individuals. Please consult a mental health professional or experienced meditation instructor for guidance should you encounter difficulties.
While any self-help techniques outlined herein may be beneficial for scam victims seeking to recover from their experience and move towards recovery, it is important to consult with a qualified mental health professional before initiating any course of action. Each individual’s experience and needs are unique, and what works for one person may not be suitable for another.
Additionally, any approach may not be appropriate for individuals with certain pre-existing mental health conditions or trauma histories. It is advisable to seek guidance from a licensed therapist or counselor who can provide personalized support, guidance, and treatment tailored to your specific needs.
If you are experiencing significant distress or emotional difficulties related to a scam or other traumatic event, please consult your doctor or mental health provider for appropriate care and support.
Also read our SCARS Institute Statement about Professional Care for Scam Victims – click here
If you are in crisis, feeling desperate, or in despair please call 988 or your local crisis hotline.
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Thanksgiving was the first holiday spent at the beginning of my experience. Thought I was teaching “My Brit” all about American Thanksgiving and the traditions – oops, was I wrong. I actually did teach, but I’m sure it was not received as I intended. Live and learn and in the meantime, it’s a blessing to be with family this Thanksgiving…live and in person.