Helping Scam Victims Get Unstuck: Small Steps to Start Recovery and Move Forward
For those Scam Victims Who Are Just Beginning Their Recovery Journey and those Who Get Stuck Down the Road
Primary Category: Scam Victim Recovery Psychology
Authors:
• Vianey Gonzalez B.Sc(Psych) – Licensed Psychologist Specialty in Crime Victim Trauma Therapy, Neuropsychologist, Certified Deception Professional, Psychology Advisory Panel & Director of the Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Inc.
• Tim McGuinness, Ph.D. – Anthropologist, Scientist, Director of the Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Inc.
About This Article
Scam victims often find it extremely difficult to start recovering from their trauma due to feelings of helplessness, betrayal, and emotional paralysis. The trauma impacts brain function, with fear and emotional distress overriding logical thinking.
The SCARS Institute addresses these challenges by using education as a tool for recovery, offering victims small, manageable steps through their Survivor’s School (www.SCARSeducation.org.) By engaging with daily educational materials, victims can gradually calm their minds, regain cognitive control, and start rebuilding their lives. This approach helps victims move forward at their own pace, fostering both emotional healing and self-compassion.
Helping Scam Victims Get Unstuck: Small Steps to Start Recovery and Move Forward
When someone has been profoundly traumatized by an event, such as being scammed, it can feel almost impossible to even consider the idea of recovery. The betrayal, loss, and fear associated with scams can deeply affect a victim’s emotional and psychological state, leaving them feeling trapped in their pain. This emotional paralysis, often referred to as “being stuck,” is a common response to trauma. The experience of being scammed shakes victims to their core, and many struggle to take the first step toward recovery, unsure of where to begin. However, with the right approach, even the smallest steps can lead to meaningful progress in the healing process.
Why Recovery Feels Impossible
Trauma affects how the brain functions. Scams, especially when they involve emotional manipulation like romance scams, financial fraud, or identity theft, can trigger a fight-or-flight response. This response is controlled by the amygdala, the part of the brain that processes fear and emotional reactions. When a person is scammed, their brain reacts as though they are in danger, making them feel anxious, fearful, and emotionally overwhelmed.
In this heightened emotional state, it becomes difficult to think rationally. The prefrontal cortex, which governs decision-making, problem-solving, and logical thinking, is overshadowed by the amygdala’s response. This is why many scam victims struggle to see a way out or to take action to recover. Their minds are stuck in a loop of emotional distress, preventing them from moving forward.
The SCARS Institute’s Approach to Recovery
The SCARS Institute (Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams) recognizes the profound challenges scam victims face and has developed a recovery approach that is grounded in education. Understanding the nature of scams, the emotional manipulation involved, and the psychological effects of betrayal trauma is key to regaining control over one’s life. SCARS believes that education is not just a tool for prevention, but also for recovery.
At the heart of this approach is the SCARS Survivor’s School, available at scarseducation.org. The Survivor’s School offers scam victims a daily program designed to ease them into the recovery process. This program is structured around simple, manageable steps—each day, victims are provided with a set of materials to read. These materials cover topics such as how scams work, the psychology of manipulation, and the emotional aftermath of betrayal. By providing information in small doses, the Survivor’s School helps victims begin to understand their experiences without overwhelming them.
The process of learning through reading can have a calming effect on the brain. As victims engage with educational content, their amygdala—the emotional response center—begins to calm down. This allows the prefrontal cortex to regain control, restoring the ability to think logically and make decisions. Over time, as victims continue to learn about scams and the emotional impact they have had, they can begin to regain a sense of control over their lives.
The Power of Tiny Steps
SCARS’ approach mirrors a widely recognized trauma recovery technique known as gradual exposure or tiny steps. Many trauma recovery programs emphasize the importance of starting with small, manageable goals when healing from trauma. For scam victims, even something as simple as reading one article a day can be a significant first step.
Renowned trauma experts, such as Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, author of The Body Keeps the Score, argue that trauma survivors often feel disconnected from their bodies and minds. By taking small steps toward recovery—like learning about their experiences in a non-judgmental way—victims can begin to reconnect with themselves and their emotions.
Tiny steps are particularly effective because they prevent overwhelm. When someone is deeply traumatized, the idea of tackling recovery all at once can feel insurmountable. But by breaking the process down into small, daily actions, victims can begin to build momentum. Each small step forward creates a foundation for the next, gradually leading to significant progress over time.
SCARS Survivor’s School: A Structured Path to Healing
The SCARS Survivor’s School provides a clear, structured path for victims to follow. Each day, victims are encouraged to engage with one new piece of information. This could be an article explaining how scammers manipulate their victims, a guide to understanding the emotional impact of betrayal, or a story from another scam survivor. These educational materials are carefully curated to help victims slowly regain their cognitive and emotional balance.
By engaging with this information, scam victims learn that they are not alone in their experiences. They discover that their emotional reactions—such as shame, guilt, and self-blame—are normal responses to trauma. This realization can be incredibly empowering, as it helps victims stop blaming themselves for what happened and start focusing on recovery.
Why Education Helps Calm the Mind
The act of learning has a soothing effect on the brain. When scam victims read about the mechanisms of scams or the psychology of trauma, they begin to understand the “why” behind their experiences. This understanding helps to calm the brain’s emotional response, reducing feelings of fear, anxiety, and confusion. Over time, as victims continue to engage with educational content, they begin to feel more in control of their emotions and thoughts.
The SCARS Survivor’s School provides a safe, non-judgmental environment for victims to learn at their own pace. There is no pressure to move too quickly or to confront difficult emotions before they are ready. Instead, the program encourages victims to take small, manageable steps toward healing.
How to Get Started: Overcoming Psychological Stuckness
Many trauma survivors, including scam victims, struggle with feeling “stuck” in their emotional pain. The idea of starting the recovery process can feel overwhelming, especially when trauma has disrupted their sense of identity and safety. However, recovery is possible—even for those who feel completely stuck.
Experts in trauma recovery often suggest starting with tiny steps. For example, trauma therapist Pete Walker, author of Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving, encourages survivors to begin by acknowledging their emotions and taking small actions toward healing. This might mean spending five minutes a day reading a recovery book, or simply sitting with a supportive friend or therapist to talk about their feelings.
The key to overcoming psychological stuckness is to take small, achievable actions that don’t feel overwhelming. For scam victims, this might mean reading one article a day on the SCARS Survivor’s School website or joining an online support group. These small actions can build momentum, leading to larger steps down the road.
Taking Control of Your Recovery
Recovery from trauma, especially after a scam, is a slow process. It requires patience, perseverance, and, most importantly, self-compassion. The SCARS Institute’s approach to recovery through education offers scam victims a gentle, manageable way to begin their healing journey. By taking small steps—one day at a time—victims can calm their emotional responses, regain cognitive clarity, and start to rebuild their lives.
The SCARS Survivor’s School provides the structure and support victims need to take these steps. Through education, scam victims can slowly but surely break free from the emotional and psychological grip of trauma and move toward a future of healing and hope.
6 Steps to Make the Impossible Possible
If you’re a scam victim looking to start your recovery journey, the first steps are crucial in regaining control and stability in your life. Here’s a guide to help you get started:
1. Acknowledge the Trauma
The first step is recognizing that you’ve been scammed and that the emotional impact is real. It’s essential to validate your feelings of betrayal, shame, or guilt without judgment. Acknowledge the trauma so you can address it head-on. It’s common to feel embarrassed, but remember that scams happen to millions of people worldwide.
2. Educate Yourself
Learning about the type of scam you were involved in and how scammers operate can help calm your mind. SCARS Institute’s Survivor’s School offers a great resource where you can read daily materials that explain scams and their emotional impacts. Understanding the psychology behind the scam can reduce anxiety and help you regain control over your thoughts.
3. Seek Support
You don’t have to go through this alone. Find a support system, whether it’s through family, friends, or an online support group. There are groups specifically for scam victims where you can share your experience and learn from others who have been through similar situations. SCARS also provides community resources that can be a valuable lifeline.
4. Take Small, Manageable Steps
It’s overwhelming to think of “recovering” all at once, so break it down into smaller, actionable steps. Start by reading a bit every day, practicing mindfulness, or simply journaling your feelings. Gradually build up your confidence to tackle bigger tasks, like reporting the scam or seeking financial advice if necessary.
5. Set Boundaries and Reclaim Control
Scammers exploit vulnerabilities, including the need to please or appease. Reestablish boundaries in your life—this includes emotional boundaries with yourself and with others. Start saying no to things that drain your emotional energy and focus on regaining a sense of control over your choices and interactions.
6. Reach Out for Professional Help
If you find yourself stuck, consider seeking professional help. A trauma-informed therapist or counselor can help you process the emotional impact of the scam and offer strategies to deal with your triggers. Professionals can guide you through techniques like cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) to help shift the negative thinking patterns often associated with trauma.
By following these steps, you can gradually move toward recovery. Remember, recovery is a process, and it’s okay to take your time. The important thing is to start.
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Important Information for New Scam Victims
- Please visit www.ScamVictimsSupport.org – a SCARS Website for New Scam Victims & Sextortion Victims
- SCARS Institute now offers a free recovery program at www.SCARSeducation.org
- Please visit www.ScamPsychology.org – to more fully understand the psychological concepts involved in scams and scam victim recovery
If you are looking for local trauma counselors please visit counseling.AgainstScams.org or join SCARS for our counseling/therapy benefit: membership.AgainstScams.org
If you need to speak with someone now, you can dial 988 or find phone numbers for crisis hotlines all around the world here: www.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines
A Question of Trust
At the SCARS Institute, we invite you to do your own research on the topics we speak about and publish, Our team investigates the subject being discussed, especially when it comes to understanding the scam victims-survivors experience. You can do Google searches but in many cases, you will have to wade through scientific papers and studies. However, remember that biases and perspectives matter and influence the outcome. Regardless, we encourage you to explore these topics as thoroughly as you can for your own awareness.
Statement About Victim Blaming
Some of our articles discuss various aspects of victims. This is both about better understanding victims (the science of victimology) and their behaviors and psychology. This helps us to educate victims/survivors about why these crimes happened and to not blame themselves, better develop recovery programs, and to help victims avoid scams in the future. At times this may sound like blaming the victim, but it does not blame scam victims, we are simply explaining the hows and whys of the experience victims have.
These articles, about the Psychology of Scams or Victim Psychology – meaning that all humans have psychological or cognitive characteristics in common that can either be exploited or work against us – help us all to understand the unique challenges victims face before, during, and after scams, fraud, or cybercrimes. These sometimes talk about some of the vulnerabilities the scammers exploit. Victims rarely have control of them or are even aware of them, until something like a scam happens and then they can learn how their mind works and how to overcome these mechanisms.
Articles like these help victims and others understand these processes and how to help prevent them from being exploited again or to help them recover more easily by understanding their post-scam behaviors. Learn more about the Psychology of Scams at www.ScamPsychology.org
SCARS Resources:
- Getting Started: ScamVictimsSupport.org
- FREE enrollment in the SCARS Institute training programs for scam victims SCARSeducation.org
- For New Victims of Relationship Scams newvictim.AgainstScams.org
- Subscribe to SCARS Newsletter newsletter.againstscams.org
- Sign up for SCARS professional support & recovery groups, visit support.AgainstScams.org
- Find competent trauma counselors or therapists, visit counseling.AgainstScams.org
- Become a SCARS Member and get free counseling benefits, visit membership.AgainstScams.org
- Report each and every crime, learn how to at reporting.AgainstScams.org
- Learn more about Scams & Scammers at RomanceScamsNOW.com and ScamsNOW.com
- Learn more about the Psychology of Scams and Scam Victims: ScamPsychology.org
- Self-Help Books for Scam Victims are at shop.AgainstScams.org
- Worldwide Crisis Hotlines: International Suicide Hotlines – OpenCounseling : OpenCounseling
- Campaign To End Scam Victim Blaming – 2024 (scamsnow.com)
Psychology Disclaimer:
All articles about psychology and the human brain on this website are for information & education only
The information provided in this and other SCARS articles are intended for educational and self-help purposes only and should not be construed as a substitute for professional therapy or counseling.
Note about Mindfulness: Mindfulness practices have the potential to create psychological distress for some individuals. Please consult a mental health professional or experienced meditation instructor for guidance should you encounter difficulties.
While any self-help techniques outlined herein may be beneficial for scam victims seeking to recover from their experience and move towards recovery, it is important to consult with a qualified mental health professional before initiating any course of action. Each individual’s experience and needs are unique, and what works for one person may not be suitable for another.
Additionally, any approach may not be appropriate for individuals with certain pre-existing mental health conditions or trauma histories. It is advisable to seek guidance from a licensed therapist or counselor who can provide personalized support, guidance, and treatment tailored to your specific needs.
If you are experiencing significant distress or emotional difficulties related to a scam or other traumatic event, please consult your doctor or mental health provider for appropriate care and support.
Also read our SCARS Institute Statement about Professional Care for Scam Victims – click here
If you are in crisis, feeling desperate, or in despair please call 988 or your local crisis hotline.
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