Scam Victim Scammer Obsession – Part 3
The Scam Victims’ Need For Control Drives Their Obsession on Exposing Scammers!
Primary Category: Scam Victim Recovery Psychology
Authors:
• Vianey Gonzalez B.Sc(Psych) – Psychologist, Certified Deception Professional, Psychology Advisory Panel & Director of the Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Inc.
• Tim McGuinness, Ph.D. – Anthropologist, Scientist, Director of the Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Inc.
About This Article
Victims of relationship scams often experience a deep sense of betrayal and helplessness, leading them to obsessively expose scammers in a desperate attempt to regain control over their lives. This behavior is driven by the illusion of control, providing a temporary sense of empowerment and relief.
However, the fixation on exposing scammers can hinder recovery, as it perpetuates feelings of anger and distress, and may interfere with personal and professional life. While seeking justice is natural, victims must prioritize their healing and well-being, balancing their desire for control with constructive actions that promote recovery and personal growth.
A Note About Labeling!
We often use the term ‘scam victim’ in our articles, but this is a convenience to help those searching for information in search engines like Google. It is just a convenience and has no deeper meaning. If you have come through such an experience, YOU are a Survivor! It was not your fault. You are not alone! Axios!
The Desperate Need for Control for Scam Victims After the Scam: A Key Driver Behind Scammer Exposing Obsession
Victims of relationship scams experience a profound sense of betrayal and helplessness, leaving them in a vulnerable emotional state. One of the most compelling reasons victims become obsessed with exposing scammers is the desperate need to regain control over their lives. This quest for control is the driving force that leads them to invest so much time and energy into identifying and revealing scammers, to the detriment of their own recovery.
The Illusion of Control in the Face of Vulnerability
Scams, by their nature, exploit trust and manipulate emotions, leaving victims feeling powerless and violated. After realizing they have been deceived, victims usually feel as if they’ve lost control over their lives, decisions, and even their identity. This loss of control is often accompanied by feelings of shame and self-doubt, which can be deeply unsettling.
In response, victims often become fixated on exposing scammers as a way to reclaim a sense of agency, at least until they learn better. By identifying and revealing the identities of scammers, victims create an illusion of control, believing they can prevent future harm and exact justice. This activity provides a tangible way to take action and feel empowered, counteracting the helplessness that characterized their experience as a victim. Unfortunately, it usually does nothing of the sort.
The Psychological Mechanisms at Play
The obsessive pursuit of scammers can also be understood through the lens of psychological defense mechanisms. The act of exposing scammers allows victims to externalize their fear, anger, and frustration, directing these emotions toward a specific target. This can be a coping strategy to manage the overwhelming feelings associated with being scammed, but it is not a positive coping strategy.
Furthermore, this behavior is often reinforced by the brain’s reward system. Successfully identifying a scammer can trigger a release of dopamine, creating a sense of accomplishment and relief. This chemical reward reinforces the behavior, encouraging victims to continue their efforts. However, this can lead to a cycle where the need for control and the associated emotional rewards overshadow other aspects of life, including recovery.
The Risks of an Obsession with Control
While the need to regain control is a natural response to trauma, an obsession with exposing scammers can have real unintended consequences. This focus can become all-consuming for some, leading victims to neglect their own mental health and well-being. Constantly engaging with scam-related content also perpetuates feelings of anger and distress, preventing victims from moving forward and healing.
Moreover, the relentless pursuit of scammers often interferes with personal and professional life. Victims may find themselves spending excessive amounts of time online, scouring social media, and forums for scam activity, often at the expense of their responsibilities and relationships. This can result in isolation, increased stress, and a prolonged state of emotional turmoil.
Finding a Path to Balance and Healing
For scam victims, it is crucial to recognize the underlying motivations driving their behavior and seek a balanced approach to regaining control. While exposing scammers can provide a temporary sense of empowerment, it is essential to prioritize personal healing and well-being and let the past go. Seeking professional support providers and counseling can help victims process their emotions, develop healthy coping strategies, and establish boundaries around their desires to expose scammers.
Engaging in activities that restore a sense of control in other areas of life, such as setting and achieving personal goals, building supportive relationships, learning, and practicing self-care, is beneficial. These positive actions help victims restore a sense of agency and resilience, allowing them to move forward from the experience of being scammed.
While the obsessive need to expose scammers is rooted in a desire to regain control, it’s important for victims to stop fixating on the past and find balance with self-care and recovery. By focusing on holistic healing and finding constructive ways to channel their energy, victims can reclaim their sense of control and build a more empowered future.
Moving Forward
Letting go and moving forward begins with factual knowledge about these crimes, the criminals, and what they do to victims. SCARS recommends the following:
- Start learning properly at www.ScamVictimsSupport.org
- Sign up for FREE professional support services at support.AgainstScams.org
- Learn the facts to empower your recovery by enrolling in the FREE Scam Survivor’s School at www.SCARSeducation.org
- Find counseling or trauma therapy at counseling.AgainstScams.org
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Important Information for New Scam Victims
- Please visit www.ScamVictimsSupport.org – a SCARS Website for New Scam Victims & Sextortion Victims
- SCARS Institute now offers a free recovery program at www.SCARSeducation.org
- Please visit www.ScamPsychology.org – to more fully understand the psychological concepts involved in scams and scam victim recovery
If you are looking for local trauma counselors please visit counseling.AgainstScams.org or join SCARS for our counseling/therapy benefit: membership.AgainstScams.org
If you need to speak with someone now, you can dial 988 or find phone numbers for crisis hotlines all around the world here: www.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines
Statement About Victim Blaming
Some of our articles discuss various aspects of victims. This is both about better understanding victims (the science of victimology) and their behaviors and psychology. This helps us to educate victims/survivors about why these crimes happened and to not blame themselves, better develop recovery programs, and to help victims avoid scams in the future. At times this may sound like blaming the victim, but it does not blame scam victims, we are simply explaining the hows and whys of the experience victims have.
These articles, about the Psychology of Scams or Victim Psychology – meaning that all humans have psychological or cognitive characteristics in common that can either be exploited or work against us – help us all to understand the unique challenges victims face before, during, and after scams, fraud, or cybercrimes. These sometimes talk about some of the vulnerabilities the scammers exploit. Victims rarely have control of them or are even aware of them, until something like a scam happens and then they can learn how their mind works and how to overcome these mechanisms.
Articles like these help victims and others understand these processes and how to help prevent them from being exploited again or to help them recover more easily by understanding their post-scam behaviors. Learn more about the Psychology of Scams at www.ScamPsychology.org
SCARS Resources:
- Getting Started: ScamVictimsSupport.org
- FREE enrollment in the SCARS Institute training programs for scam victims SCARSeducation.org
- For New Victims of Relationship Scams newvictim.AgainstScams.org
- Subscribe to SCARS Newsletter newsletter.againstscams.org
- Sign up for SCARS professional support & recovery groups, visit support.AgainstScams.org
- Find competent trauma counselors or therapists, visit counseling.AgainstScams.org
- Become a SCARS Member and get free counseling benefits, visit membership.AgainstScams.org
- Report each and every crime, learn how to at reporting.AgainstScams.org
- Learn more about Scams & Scammers at RomanceScamsNOW.com and ScamsNOW.com
- Learn more about the Psychology of Scams and Scam Victims: ScamPsychology.org
- Self-Help Books for Scam Victims are at shop.AgainstScams.org
- Donate to SCARS and help us help others at donate.AgainstScams.org
- Worldwide Crisis Hotlines: International Suicide Hotlines – OpenCounseling : OpenCounseling
- Campaign To End Scam Victim Blaming – 2024 (scamsnow.com)
Psychology Disclaimer:
All articles about psychology and the human brain on this website are for information & education only
The information provided in this and other SCARS articles are intended for educational and self-help purposes only and should not be construed as a substitute for professional therapy or counseling.
Note about Mindfulness: Mindfulness practices have the potential to create psychological distress for some individuals. Please consult a mental health professional or experienced meditation instructor for guidance should you encounter difficulties.
While any self-help techniques outlined herein may be beneficial for scam victims seeking to recover from their experience and move towards recovery, it is important to consult with a qualified mental health professional before initiating any course of action. Each individual’s experience and needs are unique, and what works for one person may not be suitable for another.
Additionally, any approach may not be appropriate for individuals with certain pre-existing mental health conditions or trauma histories. It is advisable to seek guidance from a licensed therapist or counselor who can provide personalized support, guidance, and treatment tailored to your specific needs.
If you are experiencing significant distress or emotional difficulties related to a scam or other traumatic event, please consult your doctor or mental health provider for appropriate care and support.
If you are in crisis, feeling desperate, or in despair please call 988 or your local crisis hotline.
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