The Anniversary Effect and Scam Victims

Helping Scam Victims Understand and Be Prepared for a Major Trigger!

Primary Category: Scam Victim Recovery Psychology

Authors:
•  Vianey Gonzalez B.Sc(Psych) – Psychologist, Certified Deception Professional, Psychology Advisory Panel & Director of the Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Inc.
•  Tim McGuinness, Ph.D. – Anthropologist, Scientist, Director of the Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Inc.

About This Article

The anniversary effect refers to the resurfacing of painful emotions around the anniversary of a traumatic event, which can be especially difficult for scam victims. Dates tied to the start or end of the scam, or the realization of being deceived, can trigger overwhelming feelings of fear, guilt, shame, or anger.

These emotions may catch victims off guard, making them feel like they are back at square one in their recovery. Scam victims may experience increased anxiety, stress, flashbacks, or even withdraw from others. However, there are ways to cope with the anniversary effect, including preparing in advance, practicing grounding techniques, seeking support, engaging in self-care, and even transforming the day into a healing ritual.

By taking these steps, victims can regain control, process their emotions, and reframe the anniversary as a symbol of survival and progress rather than pain.

The Anniversary Effect: How Scam Victims Are Impacted and How They Can Cope

This article about the Anniversary Effect is dedicated to Debby Montgomery Johnson, SCARS Insitute Chairwoman – who today had her 12th Anniversary from the end of her scam.

Introduction

For many people who have gone through trauma, certain dates on the calendar can be unexpectedly painful and emotionally challenging. This is known as the anniversary effect—a phenomenon where the anniversary of a traumatic event triggers strong, negative emotions. For scam victims, the anniversary of when the scam started, when it ended, or when they realized they had been deceived can bring back overwhelming feelings of fear, anger, guilt, or shame. These emotional responses are often unplanned and can feel like a setback in the recovery process.

This article explores the anniversary effect in scam victims, why it happens, and how they can cope with the emotional fallout when those important dates come around.

What Is the Anniversary Effect?

The anniversary effect refers to a period, often around the date of a traumatic event when emotions tied to that event resurface. It can happen yearly or on other significant time markers (like the six-month mark). For scam victims, this effect may occur on the anniversary of key moments such as:

When the scam started: The day they were first deceived or approached.

When the scam ended: The day they realized they had been scammed.

Financial loss anniversaries: When they faced the consequences of the scam, such as financial damage or loss of trust.

Even if victims have made progress in recovering from the trauma of the scam, the anniversary can stir up difficult emotions as the mind subconsciously remembers the pain, fear, and betrayal that occurred.

Why the Anniversary Effect Happens

The brain often connects emotions and memories with specific times, dates, and places. During traumatic events like scams, victims experience heightened levels of stress and anxiety, and the brain records these emotional responses. As the anniversary of the scam approaches, the brain may unconsciously trigger those same feelings, even if the victim has moved forward in many aspects of their life.

For scam victims, the anniversary effect can be particularly challenging because scams often involve:

Betrayal: The deep emotional pain of being deceived by someone they trusted.

Financial loss: A reminder of the money or assets that were lost.

Self-blame: Thoughts of “how could I let this happen” or “if only I had seen the signs.”

These emotions can become intense as the anniversary approaches, often catching victims off guard.

How the Anniversary Effect Impacts Scam Victims

Emotional Overload As the anniversary approaches, scam victims might feel overwhelmed by emotions they thought they had worked through. Feelings of guilt, shame, and regret can resurface, causing distress. Even if they have taken steps to heal, the anniversary effect can make them feel like they’re back at square one.

Increased Anxiety and Stress Many scam victims report feeling anxious or stressed around the anniversary of the scam. They might have trouble sleeping, experience mood swings, or feel constantly on edge. The brain’s response to the traumatic memories can trigger physical symptoms like headaches, fatigue, or a racing heart.

Flashbacks and Intrusive Thoughts The anniversary may cause flashbacks to the details of the scam or lead to intrusive thoughts about how the scam happened. Victims may find themselves replaying conversations, events, or choices they made, feeling trapped in a cycle of regret.

Avoidance or Isolation Some victims might feel the urge to withdraw from others around the anniversary. The resurfacing emotions can be hard to explain, and victims may avoid talking about the scam or even interacting with loved ones. This isolation can worsen feelings of loneliness and frustration.

Difficulty Trusting Again The anniversary can reignite fears about trust. Victims may once again question their judgment or ability to trust others. This is especially challenging for those who have been working hard to rebuild their confidence and regain trust in themselves.

What Scam Victims Can Do to Cope With the Anniversary Effect

While the anniversary effect can be difficult, there are steps scam victims can take to help them cope when these emotionally challenging dates approach. Preparation and self-care are key to managing the emotional weight of these anniversaries.

Acknowledge the Anniversary in Advance

Recognizing that the anniversary is coming can help victims prepare for the emotions that may surface. Instead of being blindsided by the date, victims can make a plan for how to take care of themselves during that time. Knowing it’s coming allows them to mentally brace for any feelings that might come up.

Practice Grounding Techniques

Grounding techniques can help victims stay connected to the present and avoid getting caught up in the negative emotions of the past. Techniques such as deep breathing, focusing on sensory experiences (like touching a textured object or smelling a calming scent), or repeating affirmations can help manage feelings of anxiety and stress.

Victims can remind themselves, “I am not in that situation anymore,” and “I am safe now,” to pull their minds back to the present.

Seek Support

Victims should reach out to their support network during this time. Whether it’s friends, family, or a professional therapist, talking about the emotions that resurface can provide relief and reduce the feeling of isolation. Even if it’s hard to talk about, sharing those feelings can lessen their intensity.

Joining online support groups for scam victims or trauma survivors can also be helpful. Knowing others have experienced similar emotions around anniversaries can provide comfort and validation.

Plan Self-Care Activities

Planning self-care activities around the anniversary can provide victims with positive distractions and moments of peace. This might include activities like:

• • • Going for a walk in nature.
    • Practicing yoga or meditation.
    • Listening to calming music.
    • Spending time with a supportive friend.

The goal is to engage in activities that bring comfort and reduce stress, giving the brain a break from the emotional weight of the anniversary.

Write About the Experience

Journaling is a powerful way to process emotions. Scam victims can use the anniversary as a chance to reflect on how far they’ve come since the event. Writing about their feelings can help them release emotions, and reflecting on the growth they’ve experienced can serve as a reminder of their strength.

Some victims may also write a letter to themselves, expressing self-compassion and acknowledging the difficulty of the anniversary. This can help reframe the negative emotions and provide comfort.

Reframe the Anniversary

Instead of viewing the anniversary as a negative day, victims can reframe it as a day of progress and survival. Acknowledge the challenges of the past year but also recognize the growth, healing, and steps taken toward recovery. It can be a reminder of resilience rather than pain.

Limit Exposure to Triggers

Certain things may trigger scam victims, such as specific websites, emails, or even social media posts about scams. Around the anniversary, victims should limit their exposure to these triggers to reduce the risk of emotional overload. Turning off notifications, avoiding news articles related to scams, or setting boundaries for conversations can help create a safe emotional space.

Transform it into a Ritual

Scam victims can transform the anniversary effect from a painful trigger into a healing ritual, symbolizing release and renewal. One powerful way to do this is through a symbolic “Viking Funeral,” where the victim creates a physical or visual representation of their experience—such as writing down their feelings, the scam’s details, or the emotions tied to the betrayal. They can then burn or release this symbol, allowing them to metaphorically “let go” of the pain, guilt, and shame they’ve carried. This ritual turns the anniversary into an empowering moment of closure, where the victim takes control of their healing journey and honors their resilience by symbolically sending the past out to sea, much like a Viking funeral.

Summary

The anniversary effect can have a profound impact on scam victims, bringing back painful emotions and memories tied to their experience of betrayal. However, understanding why this happens and preparing for it in advance can help victims cope more effectively. By acknowledging the anniversary, practicing self-care, seeking support, and using grounding techniques, scam victims can navigate these difficult days with greater resilience. Over time, victims can learn to recognize the anniversary as a symbol of their survival and growth, rather than just a painful reminder of the past.

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Important Information for New Scam Victims

• Please visit www.ScamVictimsSupport.org – a SCARS Website for New Scam Victims & Sextortion Victims
• SCARS Institute now offers a free recovery program at www.SCARSeducation.org
• Please visit www.ScamPsychology.org – to more fully understand the psychological concepts involved in scams and scam victim recovery

If you are looking for local trauma counselors please visit counseling.AgainstScams.org or join SCARS for our counseling/therapy benefit: membership.AgainstScams.org

If you need to speak with someone now, you can dial 988 or find phone numbers for crisis hotlines all around the world here: www.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines

A Note About Labeling!

We often use the term ‘scam victim’ in our articles, but this is a convenience to help those searching for information in search engines like Google. It is just a convenience and has no deeper meaning. If you have come through such an experience, YOU are a Survivor! It was not your fault. You are not alone! Axios!

Statement About Victim Blaming

Some of our articles discuss various aspects of victims. This is both about better understanding victims (the science of victimology) and their behaviors and psychology. This helps us to educate victims/survivors about why these crimes happened and to not blame themselves, better develop recovery programs, and to help victims avoid scams in the future. At times this may sound like blaming the victim, but it does not blame scam victims, we are simply explaining the hows and whys of the experience victims have.

These articles, about the Psychology of Scams or Victim Psychology – meaning that all humans have psychological or cognitive characteristics in common that can either be exploited or work against us – help us all to understand the unique challenges victims face before, during, and after scams, fraud, or cybercrimes. These sometimes talk about some of the vulnerabilities the scammers exploit. Victims rarely have control of them or are even aware of them, until something like a scam happens and then they can learn how their mind works and how to overcome these mechanisms.

Articles like these help victims and others understand these processes and how to help prevent them from being exploited again or to help them recover more easily by understanding their post-scam behaviors. Learn more about the Psychology of Scams at www.ScamPsychology.org

SCARS Resources:

• Getting Started: ScamVictimsSupport.org
• FREE enrollment in the SCARS Institute training programs for scam victims SCARSeducation.org
• For New Victims of Relationship Scams newvictim.AgainstScams.org
• Subscribe to SCARS Newsletter newsletter.againstscams.org
• Sign up for SCARS professional support & recovery groups, visit support.AgainstScams.org
• Find competent trauma counselors or therapists, visit counseling.AgainstScams.org
• Become a SCARS Member and get free counseling benefits, visit membership.AgainstScams.org
• Report each and every crime, learn how to at reporting.AgainstScams.org
• Learn more about Scams & Scammers at RomanceScamsNOW.com and ScamsNOW.com
• Learn more about the Psychology of Scams and Scam Victims: ScamPsychology.org
• Self-Help Books for Scam Victims are at shop.AgainstScams.org
• Donate to SCARS and help us help others at donate.AgainstScams.org
• Worldwide Crisis Hotlines: International Suicide Hotlines – OpenCounseling : OpenCounseling
• Campaign To End Scam Victim Blaming – 2024 (scamsnow.com)

Psychology Disclaimer:

All articles about psychology and the human brain on this website are for information & education only

The information provided in this and other SCARS articles are intended for educational and self-help purposes only and should not be construed as a substitute for professional therapy or counseling.

Note about Mindfulness: Mindfulness practices have the potential to create psychological distress for some individuals. Please consult a mental health professional or experienced meditation instructor for guidance should you encounter difficulties.

While any self-help techniques outlined herein may be beneficial for scam victims seeking to recover from their experience and move towards recovery, it is important to consult with a qualified mental health professional before initiating any course of action. Each individual’s experience and needs are unique, and what works for one person may not be suitable for another.

Additionally, any approach may not be appropriate for individuals with certain pre-existing mental health conditions or trauma histories. It is advisable to seek guidance from a licensed therapist or counselor who can provide personalized support, guidance, and treatment tailored to your specific needs.

If you are experiencing significant distress or emotional difficulties related to a scam or other traumatic event, please consult your doctor or mental health provider for appropriate care and support.

If you are in crisis, feeling desperate, or in despair please call 988 or your local crisis hotline.

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