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Healing Wounds // Sanando Heridas by/de Vianey Gonzalez

Recognizing and Healing Wounds: My Recovery Path After a Scam // Reconociendo y Sanando Heridas: Mi Camino de Recuperación tras una Estafa

Primary Category: Scam Victim’s Story

Intended Audience: Scam Victims-Survivors / Family & Friends

Author:
•  Vianey Gonzalez B.Sc(Psych) – Licensed Psychologist Specialty in Crime Victim Trauma Therapy, Neuropsychologist, Certified Deception Professional, Psychology Advisory Panel & Director of the Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Inc.

About This Article

Nearly eight years after falling victim to a scam, I have come to realize that recovery is not just about addressing the visible damage but also about confronting the hidden wounds that remain. Fraud impacts us emotionally, psychologically, financially, and even spiritually, leaving scars that require intentional healing. Recently, I recognized a lingering spiritual wound that I had suppressed—a crisis of faith that arose during and after the scam, when I felt abandoned, betrayed, and alone. Through painful reflection, I have learned that suppressing these wounds only delays the healing process. Recovery is a gradual journey, unique to each individual, requiring commitment, acceptance, and the courage to face every hurt, no matter how small. Support groups and shared experiences have been invaluable in helping me embrace my pain, work through it, and grow stronger. Today, I am not afraid to acknowledge that healing hurts, but I also know that with dedication, it is possible to overcome and emerge as a survivor, transformed by the process.

Hace casi ocho años fui víctima de una estafa, una experiencia que dejó profundas heridas en mi vida, no solo emocionales, psicológicas y económicas, sino también espirituales. Aunque he avanzado mucho en mi recuperación y estoy enfocada en mi presente y futuro, recientemente reconocí que una parte de mí seguía sin sanar completamente. Recordar ese tiempo, cuando me sentí traicionada, abandonada y sin respuestas, me ayudó a comprender que había suprimido una crisis espiritual que me dejó desconectada de mi fe. Este proceso me ha enseñado que no se trata de suprimir el dolor, sino de enfrentarlo, sentirlo y trabajar para superarlo. La recuperación es un camino único y gradual, que requiere compromiso y la sanación de todas las heridas, por pequeñas que parezcan. Gracias al apoyo y la educación recibida en grupos de ayuda, hoy puedo decir que he aprendido a enfrentar el dolor sin miedo, y estoy decidida a sanar completamente para afirmar que soy una sobreviviente y que no estoy sola.

Healing Wounds // Sanando Heridas: A Story of Scam Victim Survival // Una Historia de Supervivencia de Una Víctima de Estafa - by/de Vianey Gonzalez

Recognizing and Healing Wounds: My Recovery Path After a Scam

Vianey Gonzalez recounting her experience (translated from Spanish)

Today I would like to share what I need to express and get out of my inner self that I discovered that I have an unhealed wound. Because recognizing and healing our wounds is a first big step towards recovery.

Beyond the pain, this is a new beginning. A few days ago I read an article from our SCARS articles, it talked about suffering and the acceptance of Christ… a very complete article, really a very good article. But there was something that kept going around in my head when he talked (beyond the religious, the divine) about what he felt in relation to betrayal, disappointment and to a certain point, loneliness and making the comparison of what we who were victims of fraud can experience, it was something that moved me a lot. It has been almost 8 years since I was a victim of fraud and I can say that I am recovered, I am totally focused on my present and on what I hope for my future. But going back a little to certain parts or specific times in my recovery and before starting the recovery process.

I have previously commented that fraud affects us in different areas and that we have to overcome each one little by little, and how important it is to overcome them all because if we leave an open wound, no matter how small it is, sooner or later it will bleed and I believe that that part or that wound in my spiritual essence was not completely closed, that is why this article related to that, to the passion of Christ, to that moment of loneliness, obviously brought back certain painful memories.

In everything I have lost about what it is to be a victim of fraud, there was always a question, a question about the damage they leave us and how difficult it can sometimes seem to overcome them, face them and accept them, and that is why I want to delve into this area that at this moment is making me recognize that I had suppressed it. When I was a child and in many stages of my life I had difficulties but I remember that I always had that faith, that confidence that I would overcome it, I knew that my prayers, that my commitment would overcome anything, any difficulty.

However, the scam made me realize that it not only damaged my self-esteem, my security, my confidence, and that it not only left emotional, psychological, and economic damage, but it also left a spiritual crisis that I somehow kept in a little box and hid inside me.
Almost at the end of the scam, in the last two months or so, and at the beginning, the first few months after knowing that it was all a scam, that wound began, that spiritual crisis.

I remember that I still had communication with the scammer. In the last few weeks, I felt threatened, abandoned, and I had already lost many people. People who turned their backs on me, who didn’t support me, who didn’t stay with me, and who even took advantage of the fact that I felt desperate. I remember that I asked God to help me, I didn’t know what to do, however there were no answers, I had already lost all my money, I was already alone, I also felt that disappointment, that betrayal and that loneliness and I asked God to help me because I was very afraid, I felt very alone, that everything was dark but I didn’t see an answer, and it was then that I felt forgotten and I came to feel resentment because I didn’t feel heard many times in the difficulties that I faced in my life I would say the phrase that Jesus said in the Garden of Gethsemane if it is possible take this cup from me but not my will but yours be done, however at that stage after the scam I couldn’t say it anymore I didn’t have the confidence or the faith to repeat it, my spirituality in some way I had also lost it and today I realize that it was a wound that hadn’t closed because remembering it hurts and hurts a lot but today almost 8 years later and with everything I have learned I can say that I will overcome it because throughout this time I learned that the best way to Overcoming it is not suppressing it, it is recognizing it, it is feeling it and accepting it in order to work on it. We are certainly not the same as before having experienced a scam.

Those of us who have experienced that process can say that it is a step by step, stage by stage, and that it is a path that is not traveled from one day to the next. We are all different. Our circumstances are different, each one of us faces it with the resources that we have. But what is certain is that recovering is a process that must be lived, that one must commit oneself, and that one must heal all the wounds, no matter how small they are, because they are all important. I have said that the support groups marked a change in my life during this time thanks to all that education, that information, and that welcome from people who had experienced the same thing as me and who made me the person I am today… that today I am that person who is not afraid to say that it hurts, that is not afraid to recognize that it hurts, but also to recognize that when you commit yourself and work, when you make that decision, you are not afraid to say that it hurts.

Vianey Gonzalez January 2025

Reconociendo y Sanando Heridas: Mi Camino de Recuperación tras una Estafa

Él contando su experiencia en español.

Hoy quisiera compartir que  necesito expresar y sacar de mi interior que descubri que tengo una herida sin sanar . Porque reconocer y sanar nuestras heridas es un primer gran paso para la recuperacio.

Mas alla del dolor  esto es  un nuevo comienzo hace días leí un artículo, de nuestros artículos de SCARS  hablaba sobre el sufrimiento y la y la aceptación de Cristo….  un artículo muy completo realmente muy buen artículo. Pero hubo algo que me quedó dando vueltas  por mi cabeza fue cuando hablaba (más allá de lo religioso lo divino) de lo que sintió él en relación a la traición la decepción y hasta cierto punto, la soledad y haciendo la comparativa de lo que podemos experimentar quienes fuimos víctimas estafa, fue  algo que me removio mucho. Hace ya casi 8 años que fui víctima de estafa y yo puedo decir que estoy recuperada estoy totalmente enfocada en mi presente y en lo que espero de mi futuro. Pero volviendo un poco Ah a ciertas partes o épocas específicas en mi en mi recuperacion y antes de iniciar el proceso de recuparcion.

Yo he comentado anteriormente que la estafa nos afecta diferentes áreas y que hay que ir superando cada una poco a poco, y lo  importante que es  superarlas todas porque si dejamos una herida abierta por mínima que sea, tarde o temprano va a sangrar y creo  que  esa parte o esa herida en mi esencia espiritual no estaba cerrada completamente por eso este artículo relacionado a esa a la pasion de Cristo a ese momento de de soledad me me trajo ciertos recuerdos dolorosos obviamente.

En todo lo que he aperdido sobre lo que es ser víctima de estafa siempre había una pregunta una cuestiónante sobre los daños que nos dejan y lo difícil que a veces puede parecer superarlos enfrentarlos y aceptarlos y por eso quiero ahondar  en esta área que en este momento a mí me me está haciendo reconocer que la había suprimido. cuando era niña y en muchas etapas de mi vida tuve dificultades pero recuerdo que siempre tenía esa fe esa confianza de que lo iba a superar sabía que mis oraciones que mi compromiso lograrían superar cualquier cosa cualquier dificultad.

Sin embargo la estafa me hizo darme cuenta que no solamente dañó mi autoestima mi seguridad mi confianza y que  no solamente dejó daños emocionales psicológicos económicos sino también dejó una crisis espiritual que de alguna manera guardé en una cajita y la escondí en mi interior, casi al final de la estafa ya los últimos dos meses más o menos y al principio primeros  meses después de saber que todo era un engaño empezó esa es herida, esa crisis espiritual recuerdo que recuerdo que yo todavía tenía comunicación con el estafador las últimas semanas me sentia amenazada, abandonada ya había perdido a muchas personas. personas que me dieron la espalda que no me apoyaron que no se quedaron conmigo y que incluso sacaron provecho de que  me sentía desesperada.

Yo recuerdo que le pedí a Dios que me ayudara, nos sabia que  hacer,  sin embargo no había respuestas  ya había perdido todo mi dinero ya estaba sola ya sentía también esa decepción esa traición y esa soledad y le pedí a Dios que me ayudara que tenía mucho miedo que me sentía muy sola que todo era obscuridad pero yo  no veía una respuesta,

Y fue entonces cuando me sentí olvidada y llegué a sentir resentimiento porque no me sentí escuchada muchas veces en las dificultades que enfrenté en mi vida decía la frase que decía que dijo Jesús en el Huerto de Getsemani si es posible aparta de mí este cáliz pero que no se haga mi voluntad sino la tuya,  sin embargo en esa etapa después de la estafa no podía decirlo ya no tenía la confianza ni la fe para repetirlo mi espiritualidad de alguna manera también la había perdido y hoy me doy cuenta que fue una herida que no había cerrado porque recordarlo duele y duele mucho pero hoy a casi 8 años y con todo lo que he aprendido puedo decir que  lo voy a superar porque a lo largo de este tiempo aprendí que la mejor manera de superarlo no es suprimirlo es reconocerlo es sentirlo y aceptarlo para de esta manera trabajarlo ciertamente no somos los mismos que antes de haber vivido un estafa, los que hemos vivido ese proceso podemos decir que es un paso a paso etapa a etapa y que es un camino que no se recorre de un día para otro todos somos diferentes nuestras circunstancias son diferentes cada una la enfrentamos con los recursos que tenemos pero lo que sí es cierto es que recuperarse es un proceso que hay que vivirlo que hay que comprometerse y que hay que sanar todas las heridas por mínimas que sean porque todas son importantes yo lo he dicho que los grupos de apoyo marcaron un cambio en mi vida en este tiempo gracias a toda esa educación esa información y ese acogimiento de personas que habían experimentado lo mismo que yo y que  hicieron que hoy sea la persona que soy.. que hoy soy esa persona que no tiene miedo a decir que duele que no tiene miedo a reconocer que duele pero también a reconocer que cuando te comprometes y trabajas cuando tomas esa decisión puede superarlo y hoy  reconozco que tengo esa herida y decido comprometerme a trabajar para poder sanarla y poder decir completamente que soy sobreviviente y que no estoy sola.

Vianey Gonzalez, Enero 2025

A Scam Victim's 5 Crises During Recovery

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At the SCARS Institute, we invite you to do your own research on the topics we speak about and publish, Our team investigates the subject being discussed, especially when it comes to understanding the scam victims-survivors experience. You can do Google searches but in many cases, you will have to wade through scientific papers and studies. However, remember that biases and perspectives matter and influence the outcome. Regardless, we encourage you to explore these topics as thoroughly as you can for your own awareness.

Statement About Victim Blaming

Some of our articles discuss various aspects of victims. This is both about better understanding victims (the science of victimology) and their behaviors and psychology. This helps us to educate victims/survivors about why these crimes happened and to not blame themselves, better develop recovery programs, and to help victims avoid scams in the future. At times this may sound like blaming the victim, but it does not blame scam victims, we are simply explaining the hows and whys of the experience victims have.

These articles, about the Psychology of Scams or Victim Psychology – meaning that all humans have psychological or cognitive characteristics in common that can either be exploited or work against us – help us all to understand the unique challenges victims face before, during, and after scams, fraud, or cybercrimes. These sometimes talk about some of the vulnerabilities the scammers exploit. Victims rarely have control of them or are even aware of them, until something like a scam happens and then they can learn how their mind works and how to overcome these mechanisms.

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The information provided in this and other SCARS articles are intended for educational and self-help purposes only and should not be construed as a substitute for professional therapy or counseling.

Note about Mindfulness: Mindfulness practices have the potential to create psychological distress for some individuals. Please consult a mental health professional or experienced meditation instructor for guidance should you encounter difficulties.

While any self-help techniques outlined herein may be beneficial for scam victims seeking to recover from their experience and move towards recovery, it is important to consult with a qualified mental health professional before initiating any course of action. Each individual’s experience and needs are unique, and what works for one person may not be suitable for another.

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PLEASE NOTE: Psychology Clarification

The following specific modalities within the practice of psychology are restricted to psychologists appropriately trained in the use of such modalities:

  • Diagnosis: The diagnosis of mental, emotional, or brain disorders and related behaviors.
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SCARS and the members of the SCARS Team do not engage in any of the above modalities in relationship to scam victims. SCARS is not a mental healthcare provider and recognizes the importance of professionalism and separation between its work and that of the licensed practice of psychology.

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