Co-Dependency: Another Perspective of Scam Victimization and Control
Helping Scam Victims Understand the Many Aspects of the Psychology of Scams that Made Them Vulnerable and Controllable
Primary Category: Psychology of Scams
Authors:
• Vianey Gonzalez B.Sc(Psych) – Psychologist, Certified Deception Professional, Psychology Advisory Panel & Director of the Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Inc.
• Tim McGuinness, Ph.D. – Anthropologist, Scientist, Director of the Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Inc.
About This Article
Co-dependency plays a major role in why scam victims may fall prey to scammers repeatedly.
It involves an excessive emotional or psychological reliance on others, making victims susceptible to manipulation. Scam victims often feel a strong urge to help or “save” others, and scammers exploit this by creating situations that trigger this impulse.
Breaking the cycle of co-dependency requires self-awareness, emotional boundaries, and learning defensive behaviors to protect against manipulation. Victims must focus on their own well-being and recognize when their empathy is being exploited.
Understanding Co-Dependency in Scam Victims and How to Break Free
Scam survivors often struggle with a form of emotional vulnerability that resembles co-dependency. This is a psychological condition where individuals develop an unhealthy reliance on others, often sacrificing their own well-being to help someone else. For scam victims, this dynamic is particularly dangerous, as it makes them more susceptible to falling for scams again in the future.
Co-Dependency and Scams
Co-dependency typically involves excessive emotional or psychological reliance on another person, often a partner or friend, who may have significant issues like addiction, emotional instability, or financial dependency. For scam victims, the dynamic is similar, except the person they become dependent on is often a scammer posing as a vulnerable or needy individual.
Scammers know how to exploit this co-dependent behavior by spinning emotional tales that pull on the victim’s empathy and drive to “rescue” someone. Victims may feel a deep need to provide emotional or financial support, even when their instincts tell them something is wrong. This need to help others at their own expense becomes the bait that scammers use to draw them into fraudulent schemes.
Why Scam Victims Are at Risk
Once a person has fallen victim to a scam, they often carry lingering feelings of guilt, shame, and a deep desire for validation. They may feel compelled to prove to themselves that they are good, caring people by stepping up to help others, even at great personal risk. This creates a vicious cycle, where their emotional vulnerability is exploited time and again.
One of the reasons this happens is tied to how the brain processes emotional connections and dopamine—the reward chemical. When a scam victim provides help or believes they are aiding someone in need, their brain releases dopamine, reinforcing the behavior with a sense of satisfaction or happiness. Unfortunately, this same process occurs even when the “need” is manufactured by a scammer, making it harder for victims to break free from the emotional hook.
The Role of Motivated Reasoning
Motivated reasoning, a cognitive bias where individuals interpret information in a way that supports their desires or preconceived beliefs, also plays a role. Scam victims may rationalize red flags or warning signs, convincing themselves that they are simply being kind or compassionate. In truth, they may be avoiding the reality that they are once again at risk of being exploited.
Recognizing the Signs
The first step in breaking free from co-dependent patterns and avoiding further scams is self-awareness. Scam victims need to take an honest look at their behavior and relationships. Are they constantly helping others at their own expense? Do they feel compelled to “save” people, even when doing so contradicts their best interests?
It’s essential to acknowledge that helping others is not inherently bad. However, it becomes dangerous when it consistently leads to personal harm, such as emotional manipulation or financial exploitation.
Breaking the Cycle
Breaking the cycle of co-dependency requires victims to set clear boundaries, not only with others but also with themselves. They must learn to recognize when their desire to help is being manipulated, and when they are acting against their own well-being. This involves:
Building Emotional Awareness: Scam victims must learn to distinguish between genuine empathy and the compulsive need to help, even when it harms them.
Developing Self-Reliance: Victims need to focus on their own needs and healing rather than constantly pouring energy into others. This includes taking time for self-care, therapy, and support groups.
Learning New Defensive Behaviors: Recognizing scammers and adopting defensive behaviors is critical. Scam victims should always verify information and trust their instincts when something feels off.
Reframing the Idea of Help: It’s important for scam victims to realize that helping others doesn’t always mean sacrificing their own well-being. They can still contribute positively without allowing themselves to be exploited.
Avoiding Future Scams
The final part of the recovery process is acknowledging that they may always be vulnerable to scams. This doesn’t mean they are doomed to be scammed repeatedly, but rather that vigilance is necessary. Scam victims should educate themselves on the warning signs of scams, implement protective measures, and most importantly, accept that they are not responsible for “saving” everyone who asks for help.
Summary
Co-dependency is a serious issue for many scam victims, but with self-awareness and a commitment to setting boundaries, they can protect themselves from future harm. Understanding this dynamic and actively working to change their behavior is essential for long-term recovery and personal safety.
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Important Information for New Scam Victims
- Please visit www.ScamVictimsSupport.org – a SCARS Website for New Scam Victims & Sextortion Victims
- SCARS Institute now offers a free recovery program at www.SCARSeducation.org
- Please visit www.ScamPsychology.org – to more fully understand the psychological concepts involved in scams and scam victim recovery
If you are looking for local trauma counselors please visit counseling.AgainstScams.org or join SCARS for our counseling/therapy benefit: membership.AgainstScams.org
If you need to speak with someone now, you can dial 988 or find phone numbers for crisis hotlines all around the world here: www.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines
This is but one component, one piece of the puzzle …
Understanding how the human mind is manipulated and controlled involves recognizing that the tactics employed by deceivers are multifaceted and complex. This information is just one aspect of a broader spectrum of vulnerabilities, tendencies, and techniques that permit us to be influenced and deceived. To grasp the full extent of how our minds can be influenced, it is essential to examine all the various processes and functions of our brains and minds, methods and strategies used the criminals, and our psychological tendencies (such as cognitive biases) that enable deception. Each part contributes to a larger puzzle, revealing how our perceptions and decisions can be subtly swayed. By appreciating the diverse ways in which manipulation occurs, we gain a more comprehensive understanding of the challenges we face in avoiding deception in its many forms.
“Thufir Hawat: Now, remember, the first step in avoiding a *trap* – is knowing of its existence.” — DUNE
“If you can fully understand your own mind, you can avoid any deception!” — Tim McGuinness, Ph.D.
“The essence of bravery is being without self-deception.” — Pema Chödrön
A Note About Labeling!
We often use the term ‘scam victim’ in our articles, but this is a convenience to help those searching for information in search engines like Google. It is just a convenience and has no deeper meaning. If you have come through such an experience, YOU are a Survivor! It was not your fault. You are not alone! Axios!
Statement About Victim Blaming
Some of our articles discuss various aspects of victims. This is both about better understanding victims (the science of victimology) and their behaviors and psychology. This helps us to educate victims/survivors about why these crimes happened and to not blame themselves, better develop recovery programs, and to help victims avoid scams in the future. At times this may sound like blaming the victim, but it does not blame scam victims, we are simply explaining the hows and whys of the experience victims have.
These articles, about the Psychology of Scams or Victim Psychology – meaning that all humans have psychological or cognitive characteristics in common that can either be exploited or work against us – help us all to understand the unique challenges victims face before, during, and after scams, fraud, or cybercrimes. These sometimes talk about some of the vulnerabilities the scammers exploit. Victims rarely have control of them or are even aware of them, until something like a scam happens and then they can learn how their mind works and how to overcome these mechanisms.
Articles like these help victims and others understand these processes and how to help prevent them from being exploited again or to help them recover more easily by understanding their post-scam behaviors. Learn more about the Psychology of Scams at www.ScamPsychology.org
SCARS Resources:
- Getting Started: ScamVictimsSupport.org
- FREE enrollment in the SCARS Institute training programs for scam victims SCARSeducation.org
- For New Victims of Relationship Scams newvictim.AgainstScams.org
- Subscribe to SCARS Newsletter newsletter.againstscams.org
- Sign up for SCARS professional support & recovery groups, visit support.AgainstScams.org
- Find competent trauma counselors or therapists, visit counseling.AgainstScams.org
- Become a SCARS Member and get free counseling benefits, visit membership.AgainstScams.org
- Report each and every crime, learn how to at reporting.AgainstScams.org
- Learn more about Scams & Scammers at RomanceScamsNOW.com and ScamsNOW.com
- Learn more about the Psychology of Scams and Scam Victims: ScamPsychology.org
- Self-Help Books for Scam Victims are at shop.AgainstScams.org
- Donate to SCARS and help us help others at donate.AgainstScams.org
- Worldwide Crisis Hotlines: International Suicide Hotlines – OpenCounseling : OpenCounseling
- Campaign To End Scam Victim Blaming – 2024 (scamsnow.com)
Psychology Disclaimer:
All articles about psychology and the human brain on this website are for information & education only
The information provided in this and other SCARS articles are intended for educational and self-help purposes only and should not be construed as a substitute for professional therapy or counseling.
Note about Mindfulness: Mindfulness practices have the potential to create psychological distress for some individuals. Please consult a mental health professional or experienced meditation instructor for guidance should you encounter difficulties.
While any self-help techniques outlined herein may be beneficial for scam victims seeking to recover from their experience and move towards recovery, it is important to consult with a qualified mental health professional before initiating any course of action. Each individual’s experience and needs are unique, and what works for one person may not be suitable for another.
Additionally, any approach may not be appropriate for individuals with certain pre-existing mental health conditions or trauma histories. It is advisable to seek guidance from a licensed therapist or counselor who can provide personalized support, guidance, and treatment tailored to your specific needs.
If you are experiencing significant distress or emotional difficulties related to a scam or other traumatic event, please consult your doctor or mental health provider for appropriate care and support.
If you are in crisis, feeling desperate, or in despair please call 988 or your local crisis hotline.
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