Was It All About Hope? For Many Scam Victims, Was Just Bad Luck That They Were Scammed?
“Shit Happens” Is The Old Saying! Sometimes it happens a lot and doesn’t stop. Is it bad luck? Did you ever think you might be making impulsive decisions? That clinging to false hope might have been one of the many root causes for what happened.
Some people believe in the Karmic Wheel, but while that may influence luck on a long-term scale, it probably is not the cause of becoming involved in a relationship scam. But hope – especially false hope, might be a real contributor.
The Cause Is What We Call The “Pig Pen Syndrome.”
“Pig-Pen” is a secondary character in the Peanuts comic strip © by Charles M. Schulz. He is best known as the little boy with a cloud of dirt that constantly follows him.
Do you always have a dark cloud over your head? At least since you were scammed?
Some scam survivors stay trapped in their victimhood and continue to make decisions impulsively, rather than taking the time to learn how to slow down and let the logical part of their mind make the decisions,
It Is All Psychological!
When something bad happens, people tend to shut down. After their first scam ends they may be in shock or desperation and fear. Either way, these are not mindsets that help to avoid additional risks and new scams.
Newer victims are poorly equipped to avoid risks, they stop taking precautions and also stop their own positive mentality. This, in turn, tends to invite more problems due to the lack of avoidance, the lack of concern, and the lack of care.
Decisions become much more emotional. Small events cause larger emotional reactions that ripple through their life, creating other larger waves, that create others and so on. Of course, the triggers come from the trauma that the victim experienced, but without support and care, they can escalate.
Each event is not dampened, but rather amplified, because the victim’s emotional state doesn’t see it as the isolated thing it is – a trigger – instead, it is all part of the “universe hates you.”
Events feel like they carry on from one into another, instead of just being momentary problems to be solved and forgotten.
Eventually, the victim’s own emotional exhaustion tends to drain the possible reactions from their life, and it can begin to separate them again, creating the opportunity for HOPE – false hope.
But HOPE is very infectious. It breeds. It is also intoxicating if scam victims let it be. That is a part of the vulnerabilities that caused the opportunity for the scam originally.
Hope is like the glass of wine people have at dinner – just one glass and they are feeling fine. Two glasses become three and four, and then they fall and break the glass and cut themself.
Some people abuse hope and live in fantasies – we call that denial, using it like a drug. Most take one glass (ok, sometimes two) but know their limit. Some never learn this or forget this while in control of the drug – meaning false hope or denial.
Once they have overdosed on hope and had terrible things happen as a result, they need to learn and understand the power of this false unrealistic hope and the magical thinking that accompanies it.
Every scam victim needs to recover from their scam. and learn the reasons why the scam happened. Learn about the many contributing factors that created their vulnerabilities that were so expertly exploited by the criminals. In other words, how to break the cycle of bad luck and the dark cloud that hangs over their head.
Recovery is about learning and adjusting their worldview, and with it getting rid of false hopes and beliefs or they will again be the “Pig Pen” out on the street living a life of misery, with that dark cloud hanging over their head.
Hope is one of those curious miracle drugs. It can help anyone find the strength they need to make it through the worst of times, but hope can also turn dark when it becomes a fantasy or becomes denial that holds back reality. And it easily leads to places where evil lives.
The answer is to be realistic in your hope. Enjoy hope with wide eyes instead of blinders! See the positives that can come from recovering after a scam happens, rather than living in and continuing to despair, holding on to false hope, and denial.
Be hopeful and not hopeless, just do not let hope control your life as it did before and during the scam!