Scam Victims And The Crossing Of The River Styx – An Interpretation Of The Recovery Process
The Recovery Process Has Greater Meaning Than Just Feeling Better For Scam Victims!
Primary Category: Scam Victim Recovery Philosophy
Intended Audience: Scam Victims-Survivors / Family & Friends
Author:
• Tim McGuinness, Ph.D. – Anthropologist, Scientist, Director of the Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Inc.
About This Article
The recovery process for scam victims is more than just about feeling better—it is a transformative journey, much like the hero’s journey found in mythology. Many scam victims resist the recovery process, believing they can move forward without confronting their pain. However, avoiding the emotional and psychological work necessary for healing only prolongs their suffering. True recovery requires a conscious commitment to face difficult emotions, process grief, and accept the new reality. This journey is not just about reclaiming what was lost but about becoming a stronger, more resilient person in the aftermath of deception.
Much like the mythical crossing of the river Styx, scam victims must leave behind their former selves to emerge transformed. In Greek mythology, souls had to pay a price to cross into the afterlife. For scam victims, the price is not monetary but rather the willingness to confront reality, seek support, and actively participate in their healing. Many victims remain trapped in emotional limbo, unwilling to take this step, clinging to denial, or allowing anger to consume them. Those who embrace the journey, however, develop emotional resilience, self-awareness, and a renewed sense of purpose. The recovery process is not easy, but it is a path toward self-discovery and growth, leading to a future no longer defined by the trauma of the past.
The Recovery Process Has Greater Meaning Than Just Feeling Better For Scam Victims!
It Is A Mythological Journey From The Land Of What Was Once To The Land Of What Will Be
For most scam victims their recovery process is a journey of rebirth and renewal. It is a journey through the emotional underworld and that journey is a heroic beginning to their new and future life. And like most hero’s journeys, most of those who could make the journey will never take it, yet ironically, everyone could.
Scam Victim’s Recovery as a Mythical Hero’s Journey
The very sad reality is that fewer scam victims are seeking out professional help to recover from relationship scams. Almost 50% (as of December 2023) of scam victims are turning away and toward denial – meaning that either they cannot accept what was done to them or they cannot face the harsh realities of recovery. Many believe they are just fine on their own and that they do not need help, a profound mistake, but sadly trauma simply does not work that way. By burying the pain, the grief, and the trauma, they are assuring that they will be living in a constant backdrop of emotional damage for the rest of their lives.
The scam victim recovery process is very much like the true purpose of the mythical ride in Charon’s boat across the river Styx. Taking each person from the land of the living to the land of Hades in Greek mythology. It is multifaceted and open to interpretation, but here is our view on how it relates to the scam victim’s journey to becoming a new survivor, a true hero able to face their fears and find real acceptance and happiness in the process.
The Relationship between the Crossing and the Scam Victim’s Journey
The true purpose of the ride in Charon’s boat is not as we always imagined in mythology. It was a transformation a process of becoming, in the same way, that victims transform themselves from scam victims to survivors and then to thrivers! They become the heroes of their own life stories.
Paying the Price for the Crossing
In the Greek legends of crossing the Styx, each soul had to pay the Ferryman an ‘Obol’ (a small coin) for passage.
Interestingly, Charon demanded payment for the ferry ride: a single obol (a small coin). This detail traditionally symbolized the need to sever all ties with the material world before entering the afterlife. However, for those who take this hero’s journey, there is a different payment – the commitment to reaching the other side!
Of course, most scam victims have already paid a very high price for the betrayal of their trust and any money they lost. But that is not the price for his journey of recovery, there is something more valuable and precious.
Those who take this journey of recovery must make the commitment necessary to make it through, or else the journey fails and they fall back into emotional purgatory. That commitment is the essential coin that it takes to make this crossing and come out the other side.
Symbolism of Transition
The boat ride itself served as a symbolic representation of the irreversible transition from mortal life to the afterlife. It marked the point of no return, a final separation from earthly existence, and a journey into the unknown. This is also very much like the scam victim’s journey into the unknown after the crime.
Scam victims board the boat – the recovery process – to transition from who they were during the crime to who they need to become to overcome it. They leave behind who they were, and embark on the journey of understanding, enlightenment, mindfulness, of acceptance, and if successful reaching the other shore to begin their future. During this journey, if they are committed they will learn who they truly are and what matters to them. They learn how their mind really works – both for them and against them – and how to be a better human being, more grateful and humble in the process.
A Journey of Purification and Judgment
Some interpretations suggest that the River Styx carried a cleansing power, washing away the impurities of the earthly world. Crossing it was a form of purification before reaching Hades for judgment. Here too the journey has these qualities.
Scam victim must judge themselves, coming to the understanding that they made a simple mistake, but that the crime was not their fault, and in the recovery process they are not alone. That the judgment of others does not matter because they are their own most brutal critic. The journey allows them to become survivors able to accept who they truly are and forgive themselves while building new boundaries to ignore those who would judge them out of their own fear.
The hero’s journey through recovery is very difficult with emotional and psychological monsters along the way, but as they near the point of full acceptance of their grief and pain, and learn to manage their trauma they achieve peace and joy again in their lives.
Social Implications
In the mythology, the ability to pay the price of the crossing was not universally guaranteed. Those who died penniless, or committed certain crimes, might be denied passage and condemned to wander the shores of the Styx eternally.
Just like in the mythology, there are many (a majority in fact) who never make the commitment to their journey of recovery. These are the ones that lose their soul to denial or anger. They do not understand or are unwilling to make the commitment needed to recover, and instead choose the seemingly safer path of giving in to the emotions to hide and bury their feelings, or to release their anger against anyone in their way. Both of these paths do not lead to healing, just a kind of resigned stability where they feel they can live with their emotions. But the science is clear, failing to process grief and learning to manage trauma leads to a life of inhibited opportunities and relationship failures.
Arrival on the Opposite Shore
For those scam victims who are realists and committed enough to make the journey across the river, they are rewarded by returning to who they are, maybe not who they were, but to who they have the potential to become. A wiser, kinder, more grateful human being. The journey of recovery transforms scam victims in many ways, and to be sure, it is not an easy journey. The process forces a deeper understanding of who each person is and relies on acceptance of the situation and their fears and pain.
Recovery brings forward all of each victim’s shame, guilt, and self-blame. These need to be let go of, and each victim finds the path to self-forgiveness and full acceptance along the way. Not just accepting what happened but accepting who they are now and will be in their new future that lies in front of them.
It is not a process of bias or magical thinking but of realism and increased self-awareness. Of truly understanding what matters in their life and where they now want to go in their life.
Recovery is about Standing in Full Acceptance
The Acceptance phase of the grief cycle, often misunderstood as “being happy about the loss,” plays a crucial role in the healing process, this is also one of the hardest aspects of the recovery journey.
Acceptance is not about forgetting the loved one, the money lost, or the deep betrayal, or minimizing the pain, but rather coming to terms with the reality of the situation and finding a way to move forward with life.
In Acceptance through Recovery, each Victim can:
- Embrace Reality: This involves accepting the finality of the loss, the betrayal, the heartache, and the pain, acknowledging that what is gone is gone and will not be coming back. While initial denial is often a coping mechanism, acceptance allows scam victims to confront the painful truth and begin rebuilding their lives around it. This means making it a part of their story but not the defining feature of it.
- Find New Meaning: Acceptance doesn’t erase the pain, but it allows scam victims to reframe it. They can start cherishing the memories of their life, recognizing the impact the crime had on their life, and finding inspiration to move forward with resilience and honor again.
- Move Forward: Acceptance doesn’t mean forgetting the grief, trauma, and pain or pretending it never happened. Instead, it empowers scam victims to find ways to integrate them into their life stories by learning how to manage them and not be slaves to them. It allows them to rebuild their sense of purpose and once again have realistic hope for the future.
- Accept Change & Uncertainty: Life has changed irrevocably due to the crime. Acceptance helps victims adjust to these changes and become survivors, develop new activities and take new journeys, and navigate the world with the new reality. It doesn’t erase the grief, the trauma, or the pain, but it equips each person with the emotional resilience to adapt and rebuild.
- Make Room for Joy: Though some memories of the crime and the criminals may always be present in some form, acceptance creates space for other emotions and happy memories to coexist. Survivors can experience moments of joy, laughter, and love again without feeling guilty or ashamed for what happened in their past.
It Takes as Long as It Takes
It’s important to remember that grief is a process with no set timeline, and the journey to acceptance can be gradual and non-linear. There may be setbacks and moments of intense sadness, but with time and support, acceptance can pave the way for a renewed sense of purpose and hope.
Can You See How the Hero’s Journey Compares to the Recovery Process?
Joseph Campbell describes the hero’s journey as a universal narrative pattern found in myths, stories, and legends across cultures. He articulated this concept in his book “The Hero with a Thousand Faces.” If you have never read it, we highly recommend it.
Campbell identified several stages or elements that commonly appear in hero narratives:
- The Call to Adventure: The hero is summoned away from their ordinary world to embark on a quest or journey. This call might come in the form of a challenge, a threat, or a revelation.
- Refusal of the Call: Initially, the hero may resist answering the call due to fear, insecurity, or a sense of inadequacy. They might doubt their abilities or fear the unknown.
- Meeting the Mentor: The hero encounters a wise figure or mentor who provides guidance, advice, or tools to help them navigate the challenges of their journey.
- Crossing the Threshold: The hero commits to the adventure and crosses into the unknown, leaving their familiar world behind. This step symbolizes their willingness to undergo personal transformation.
- Tests, Allies, and Enemies: Along the journey, the hero faces trials, meets allies who offer assistance, and encounters adversaries or obstacles that challenge their resolve.
- Approaching the Inmost Cave: The hero approaches a significant challenge or ordeal, often a symbolic representation of their innermost fears or weaknesses.
- The Ordeal: The hero confronts their greatest fear or faces a life-threatening challenge that tests their skills, determination, and character.
- The Reward: After overcoming the ordeal, the hero emerges stronger, having gained knowledge, insight, or a treasure. This reward might be literal or symbolic.
- The Road Back: The hero begins the journey back to their ordinary world, often facing further obstacles or challenges.
- The Resurrection: The hero experiences a final test or challenge that demands a greater sacrifice or demonstrates their transformation.
- Return with the Elixir: The hero returns to their ordinary world, sharing the knowledge or treasure gained during their journey, which often benefits their community or society.
Campbell’s concept of the hero’s journey is not a strict blueprint but a flexible framework that captures the essence of transformation and self-discovery inherent in many myths and stories.
It highlights the universal elements of personal growth, challenges, and triumphs that resonate across cultures and time-periods.
Can you see how the Hero’s Journey, as we have described it in relation it the crossing of the river Styx compares to the scam victim’s journey of recovery? We hope you can, and how this philosophical comparison may give comfort and strength during those dark times when you feel alone and unable to go on.
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Important Information for New Scam Victims
- Please visit www.ScamVictimsSupport.org – a SCARS Website for New Scam Victims & Sextortion Victims
- SCARS Institute now offers a free recovery program at www.SCARSeducation.org
- Please visit www.ScamPsychology.org – to more fully understand the psychological concepts involved in scams and scam victim recovery
If you are looking for local trauma counselors please visit counseling.AgainstScams.org or join SCARS for our counseling/therapy benefit: membership.AgainstScams.org
If you need to speak with someone now, you can dial 988 or find phone numbers for crisis hotlines all around the world here: www.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines
A Question of Trust
At the SCARS Institute, we invite you to do your own research on the topics we speak about and publish, Our team investigates the subject being discussed, especially when it comes to understanding the scam victims-survivors experience. You can do Google searches but in many cases, you will have to wade through scientific papers and studies. However, remember that biases and perspectives matter and influence the outcome. Regardless, we encourage you to explore these topics as thoroughly as you can for your own awareness.
More:
- Motivational Denial – Recovery Psychology – 2023 (scamsnow.com)
- SCARS 5 Coping Techniques For Traumatized Scam Victims – 2023 (scamsnow.com)
- Fear Of Contagion: Why Scam Victims Are Harshly Judged And Blamed 2023 (scamsnow.com)
- Pride – A Dual Edged Sword For Scam Victims 2023 (scamsnow.com)
- Toxic Self-Narratives That Feeds Depression in Scam Victims 2023 (scamsnow.com)
- Secrets Can Be Deadly For Scam Victims – Scam Victim Recovery Psychology (scamsnow.com)
- Contractualism and Supporting the Victims of Online Crime (scamsnow.com)
- Recovering From Scams (romancescamsnow.com)
- The Psychology of Scams (romancescamsnow.com)
Statement About Victim Blaming
Some of our articles discuss various aspects of victims. This is both about better understanding victims (the science of victimology) and their behaviors and psychology. This helps us to educate victims/survivors about why these crimes happened and to not blame themselves, better develop recovery programs, and to help victims avoid scams in the future. At times this may sound like blaming the victim, but it does not blame scam victims, we are simply explaining the hows and whys of the experience victims have.
These articles, about the Psychology of Scams or Victim Psychology – meaning that all humans have psychological or cognitive characteristics in common that can either be exploited or work against us – help us all to understand the unique challenges victims face before, during, and after scams, fraud, or cybercrimes. These sometimes talk about some of the vulnerabilities the scammers exploit. Victims rarely have control of them or are even aware of them, until something like a scam happens and then they can learn how their mind works and how to overcome these mechanisms.
Articles like these help victims and others understand these processes and how to help prevent them from being exploited again or to help them recover more easily by understanding their post-scam behaviors. Learn more about the Psychology of Scams at www.ScamPsychology.org
SCARS Resources:
- For New Victims of Relationship Scams newvictim.AgainstScams.org
- Subscribe to SCARS Newsletter newsletter.againstscams.org
- Sign up for SCARS professional support & recovery groups, visit support.AgainstScams.org
- Find competent trauma counselors or therapists, visit counseling.AgainstScams.org
- Become a SCARS Member and get free counseling benefits, visit membership.AgainstScams.org
- Report each and every crime, learn how to at reporting.AgainstScams.org
- Learn more about Scams & Scammers at RomanceScamsNOW.com and ScamsNOW.com
- Global Cyber Alliance ACT Cybersecurity Tool Website: Actionable Cybersecurity Tools (ACT) (globalcyberalliance.org)
- Self-Help Books for Scam Victims are at shop.AgainstScams.org
- Donate to SCARS and help us help others at donate.AgainstScams.org
- Worldwide Crisis Hotlines: International Suicide Hotlines – OpenCounseling : OpenCounseling
- Campaign To End Scam Victim Blaming – 2024 (scamsnow.com)
Psychology Disclaimer:
All articles about psychology and the human brain on this website are for information & education only
The information provided in this and other SCARS articles are intended for educational and self-help purposes only and should not be construed as a substitute for professional therapy or counseling.
Note about Mindfulness: Mindfulness practices have the potential to create psychological distress for some individuals. Please consult a mental health professional or experienced meditation instructor for guidance should you encounter difficulties.
While any self-help techniques outlined herein may be beneficial for scam victims seeking to recover from their experience and move towards recovery, it is important to consult with a qualified mental health professional before initiating any course of action. Each individual’s experience and needs are unique, and what works for one person may not be suitable for another.
Additionally, any approach may not be appropriate for individuals with certain pre-existing mental health conditions or trauma histories. It is advisable to seek guidance from a licensed therapist or counselor who can provide personalized support, guidance, and treatment tailored to your specific needs.
If you are experiencing significant distress or emotional difficulties related to a scam or other traumatic event, please consult your doctor or mental health provider for appropriate care and support.
Also read our SCARS Institute Statement about Professional Care for Scam Victims – click here
If you are in crisis, feeling desperate, or in despair please call 988 or your local crisis hotline.
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I can see the comparison between the hero’s journey and the recovery of the scam victim. I had never thought to make that comparison. Instead the journey across the river Styxx somehow seems a more correct comparison in the darker aspect of the emotional turmoil caused by the crime. The use of the word crime invokes a darker sense that compliments the river Styxx comparison. The faceless specter looming at the back of the boat. The victim seated nervously in the boat wondering just what they got themselves into with their commitment. That is how I feel after the whirlwind of emotion, fear and loss and grief during the crime. I feel buffeted by strong winds of grief, swamped by tears and burning resentment for the experience. But always there is hope of overcoming and belief that better days are ahead once I reach the far shore.
I loved Joseph Campbell’s work. But I did not associate his story telling with my own experience until now. The relevance of his work and my recovery process is very profound! It’s a level of understanding that I did not have nor appreciated until now. Everything just clicked for me.
Really enjoyed the story of the crossing of the river Styx. Also liked this description of acceptance “coming to terms with the reality of the situation and finding a way to move forward with life.” This seems like a daily ritual these days.
Great article. The recalling of Greek mythology- /great idea!!/ helps clearly explain this journey of recovery-a very difficult and specific one-way journey-a journey forward, not backward, a journey that leads to the unknown. The demands that must be met, the challenges that must be faced to by those /scam survovors/ who undertook this journe are clear shown here.
Must read for all who follow the path of recovery. Understanding this journey can play a key role in continuing it particularly when it all seems too hard to go on.
In my opinion and personal experience after the fraud ended, the “emotional purgatory” is the worst part so far.
It was hopeful to read this article, to learn the feelings are normal and can be overcome. Looking forward to cross my river